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He got me pregnant then left...

(7 Posts)
BEESY90 Fri 28-Aug-20 21:33:51

Hi Everyone.
I have quite a long thread and really hope someone will listen.
I am pregnant with my 4th baby. My 3 children are older in high school. I finally thought I had found my “one”. We were taking a “see if it happens” approach. We weren’t sure if it was likely as I have PCOS. After many months it did! But when it did he left me immediately. I have had immense pressure to abort the baby. Comments I daren’t repeat they are so vile. He told me “he didn’t think it would happen because of my issues” some comments have been so hurtful I have felt suicidal at times. Luckily that has passed and I have found My strength again to not let another human make me feel so low.

Unfortunately he was the bread winner as I was made redundant during this covid episode. I have started a new job this week though so financially I should be fine now.

I do suffer from epilepsy so I take medication. There is a small risk of malformation to the baby. I have a team who are going to be keeping an eye on things almost weekly from what I understand.

I have seen the baby on ultrasound. At the moment I just feel so numb from everything and scared.

Do you think this is normal!?
I guess I really hoped I was going to get my fairytale ending as cheesy as it sounds. My life has been a struggle. Now I am going to be a single mum to 4.

I have a great relationship with my 3 children now. I was a young mum and its always been us. They are looking forward to the baby and have said i never needed anyone to raise them. They are very sweet

OP’s posts: |
Igmum Fri 28-Aug-20 21:44:59

No advice but didn't want to read and run. Sending unmumsnetty hugs. thanksthanks

Heatherjayne1972 Fri 28-Aug-20 22:30:00

Do you know what ? You’re going to be fine
You’ve got a good medical team with you
Your kids sound supportive
You have a job
Do you have wider family ? Parents siblings cousins friends to support you
Talk to them. Or your midwife

Yeah I would feel numb and heartbroken too that’s totally normal. You’re probably shocked he’s turned out to be a frog not a prince
Does he want a part of baby’s life or is he planning on just walking away?
Whichever it is Make sure he pays maintenance- go through cms

He can say what he wants about the pregnancy it is and always would be your choice to have the baby

Good luck op.

GoodBoyDoggy Sat 29-Aug-20 10:58:12

What a shitty thing to do. It's quite understandable to be hurt. I wish you good luck.

Pelleas Sat 29-Aug-20 11:36:35

It sounds as though your existing children will be a great support to the new arrival. Hope everything goes well!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Sat 29-Aug-20 12:16:35

It’s not his choice re the pregnancy but you are going to have to deal with him for the next eighteen plus years unless he walks away completely. Even if he does at the start he could come back.

If financially your salary can support yourself and four children and the older ones won’t be expected to pick up childcare or household responsibilities to accommodate that choice then the choice is yours. The older ones will need time and space as they go through exams etc.

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 29-Aug-20 12:33:32

He just wanted unprotected sex didn’t he?. If you don’t want to abort then don’t.

Keep the messages, if you need to report him to the police they are really good evidence.

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