DD (3 years) sleep WWYD?

[LordGarmadon]

DD attended childcare throughout the pandemic lockdown due to DH and me being keyworkers. There were very few children and she was fine.

Since going back to "proper" preschool after half term she's been a wreck. The bubbles raised lots of questions and caused anxieties and sadness.

She cried herself to sleep for the first 2 weeks and I slept in her bed with her... she just hasn't been able to get back to any sort of normal sleep pattern since. She just can't seem to fall to sleep at bedtime no matter what we do... I stay in her bed, in her room, leave her room, we have a bedtime routine, we've tried introducing some yoga an hour before bed... I don't know what to do for the best...

...help! WWYD?

[KatyN]

There is more to this for her than just sleep. Sleep is when all the worries come out (obv) but she must be thinking/worrying when she’s not in bed too.

It sounds daft but how much have you explained to her? My dd is 4 and has a grasp of the green bug (no idea why it’s green). What she can and can’t do and how things were different at nursery.
She had a couple of wobbles but she got there after a few days.
How are the bubbles arranged at nursery? Is she with people she knows well? Are they arranging it so the bubbles don’t see each other? Crossing over at lunch time etc would be upsetting.

I would raise with nursery and ask for support with her.
We had a week when my dd was having loads of nightmares, turned out there was a mean girl at nursery. Kx

[LordGarmadon]

Thanks for responding.

We've been fairly honest in an age appropriate way. I work with very complex children so have access to lots of great resources.

Preschool used the word "bug" a lot which caused confusion.

The bubbles were in the same room so she could see friends she wasn't allowed to play with which made her question how risky the virus was to her friends.

I talked to preschool on many occasions and they kept telling me she was fine while she was there.

She's broken up for summer holiday now and hasn't been to preschool for 2 weeks but her sleep is still bad.

I'm sure it's stemming from these anxieties and she's either still feeling anxious or she's in the habit of not falling to sleep at bedtime.

[LordGarmadon]

Another emotional bedtime, another call to help!

[Mammaaof]

My nearly 3yr old has absolutely no idea what's going on, and tbh that's the way it should be, why should they know and worry about it

[user1493413286]

Have you looked at any books about worries for children - the big bag of worries might work for her or perhaps worry dolls.

[LordGarmadon]

@user1493413286

Have you looked at any books about worries for children - the big bag of worries might work for her or perhaps worry dolls.

I've just order the Big Bag if Worries book from Amazon. Thanks for the suggestion.

[LordGarmadon]

@Mammaaof

My nearly 3yr old has absolutely no idea what's going on, and tbh that's the way it should be, why should they know and worry about it

Of course she's aware of what's going on. I can't talk for your child because I have no idea about your life style pre-pandemic, but my kids were very aware that life changed. Preschool stopped and they went to key worker childcare, their clubs stopped, they didn't see friends and family for months, they hear things on the radio, they overhear conversations...

I work with incredibly complex young people with profound learning difficulties and they were aware of changes.

[Mammaaof]

@LordGarmadon not a troll look for my previous posts, ive been here for a while. In my opinion 3 year olds shouldn't be told that sort of things. You can't tell a 3 year old things like that and be shocked when they have anxiety! Yes there aware life has changed but mine have treated it like one big holiday adventure! Not a scary experience at all!

[Chocolate4me]

Could you try a nightime story CD or nursery ryhme CD for her to listen to? Or get some pretty star lights or similar for her room, new duvet cover of her choice?

[Mangomumma]

We use the Moshi app on an old iPhone. It's got bedtime stories & relaxing music. It really helped our DD focus on something whilst drifting off. Think you can get a free trial. Worth a try?

[LordGarmadon]

@Chocolate4me

Could you try a nightime story CD or nursery ryhme CD for her to listen to? Or get some pretty star lights or similar for her room, new duvet cover of her choice?

Maybe... she might like some nice music or nursery rhymes.

We bought her a space light and space bedding but it didn't help.

[LordGarmadon]

@Mangomumma

We use the Moshi app on an old iPhone. It's got bedtime stories & relaxing music. It really helped our DD focus on something whilst drifting off. Think you can get a free trial. Worth a try?

Great, I'll look into that. Thank you.

[Mammaaof]

@LordGarmadon qualified level 5 in children's development actually.. hence how I know children should never be told how bad things are. Especially knowing about bubbles at the age of 3. Bizarre!

[Mammaaof]

@LordGarmadon so your telling me you think when you learn about child psychology they teach to tell them the extent of everything, even if it will make them worried and anxious? No they teach you to keep things are normal as possible, tell them age appropriate things.. bubbles definitely aren't age appropriate ( my nearly 3 year old is worried about where she left her barbies, not bubbles in school!

[RedCatBlueCat]

Is it still hot and humid where you are? I'd be surprised if many people are sleeping well currently, so it might be worth holding off a few more days before making any big bedtime changes.

I'm firmly in the camp of telling kids age appropriate info about what's going on. Of course a pre schooler has noticed life has changed! So I'd keep talking, and look at implementing a new bedtime routine once the hot weather has broken.

[Choice4567]

@Mammaaof but she knows about bubbles because she’s in one at nursery, can see other bubbles and has been told by nursery not to mix. It’s not like the OP sat her DD down and told her about bubbles for no reason

[Mammaaof]

@Choice4567 so is my 6 year old but the school have made it totally normal and he's not asked about the "bubbles" also op says "she's questioned the virus with her friends" I mean she's 3? They adapt with the "new normal" now. Means the school is saying she is absolutely fine when she's there, begs the question why is she so anxious about it at home

[Choice4567]

@Mammaaof she didn’t question the virus WITH her friends, she questioned the fact that she had to be kept separate from her friends, reinforcing in her mind that it must be dangerous

I’m not sure where you’re going with this really. The girl is obviously anxious and it’s fairly understandable (and believable) with everything going on. Why are you trying to dismiss it as the OP giving her anxiety and therefore shouldn’t help her child?

[Mammaaof]

@Choice4567 exactly " reinforcing in her mind it must be dangerous" but who put it in her mind that it was dangerous in the first place!? I doubt it was the childcare workers in the hub. Yes she is clearly anxious but the information to make her anxious has come from somewhere.

[IcyApril]

My three year old and my two year old know exactly what’s going on. I couldn’t have hidden it from them as their lives changed quite dramatically.

Sorry op, this doesn’t help you but how a child could not know is beyond me. I also believe it has helped them to know rather than have us keeping it a secret.

[LordGarmadon]

@IcyApril

My three year old and my two year old know exactly what’s going on. I couldn’t have hidden it from them as their lives changed quite dramatically.

Sorry op, this doesn’t help you but how a child could not know is beyond me. I also believe it has helped them to know rather than have us keeping it a secret.

Exactly this... I have no idea how anyone would begin to be able to hide this from a child... unless you were homeschooling and lived isolated anyway.

Some children are more intuitive than others but they all pick up on routine/lifestyle changes.