Plodding along with no focus, direction, plans or willpower

[taichiFlipper]

I listen to self-help podcasts about the power of habit and try and get establish small, good ones such as keeping a diary every day, drinking water first thing, things like that –but they NEVER stick.

I often have pieces of work to do that I just can't knuckle down to and find myself wasting hours on social media/MN before doing a rush job just before the deadline in a panic. I know I have to start earlier, I know I should plan my day better, block time-wasting websites etc –but I just don't. I set reminders on my phone and when they pop up, I ignore them. It's like I'm deliberately sabotaging myself.

I can feel my concentration waning, I can't settle on a book – it now takes me roughly a month to get through one book, and when it's done I can't remember a damn thing about it. Films, meetings etc are the same –once they're done, they vanish right out of my head.

I have no goals or plans to work towards as I don't know what kind of thing I want to do. Well, I do have some children's stories I want to write, but I'm literally a couple of paragraphs into them after about six months. What is stopping me sitting down and getting back onto them?? I have no idea!

Has anyone been like this and changed? I'm beginning to feel I'm wasting my life.