What's wrong with me?

[puffyeyedsugarmonster]

I'm not really sure where to put this but thought it would get more traffic here.

I feel like I'm loosing the plot. The last few months have been really tough caring for a loved one whilst they died of cancer and then some financial worries.

I'm a high achiever always have been, work hard and am normally the life and soul. But over the last few weeks and months it feels like all the energy has drained out of me. I don't want to get up, I don't want to do anything, I'm making excuses not to talk on the phone and not to see people. I work from home and have spent the last 3 days in bed answering emails etc but not much else.

In my head I want to get back to normal and I start every day thinking right today I'm going to do this and then I just don't have the energy. I don't feel ill, it's not the flu or anything like that, I just can't seem to do anything and feel a bit trapped and lost.

[Bluntness100]

It sounds like you may have depression, obviously no one can diagnose over the Internet, but might be worth a trip to your gp.

[theemmadilemma]

Yep GP to discuss.

[0DimSumMum0]

You are grieving. I was exactly like this when I lost my father 2 years ago. I felt like my whole world had fallen apart and I struggled to do the simplest of day to day things, including getting out of bed. Unfortunately it took quite a bit of time to pull myself through it but it might be a good idea to see if you can talk to someone. Exercise ended up being my saviour. I started walking/hiking and it really made a big different to me mentally. I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon x

[puffyeyedsugarmonster]

Thanks, I'm a bit nervous about seeing the GP, I really don't want antidepressants. I was prescribed them about 15 years ago when in my late teens and I don't think I really needed them. I did phone earlier though and the next appointment would be second week of November.

I don't feel sad as such, well I do a bit but not what I'd imagine depressed feels like. I just feel very empty and in my own head of that makes sense.

Thank you, yes I suppose grief has a lot to do with it but I hate that thought too as I know they'd hate to think of me struggling. The hospice who was helping us did say they'd be in touch after a couple of months to offer counselling but that hasn't happened and I'd feel bad asking as I know their resources are stretched.

Oh well I've got dresses for today, that's an improvement on yesterday. Absolutely hate this self-pitying lazy feeling but I physically just can't switch back on.