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Mother touting for work at the school gate [hmm]

(69 Posts)
Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:10:31

New mum at school. She’s some sort of counsellor or something, maybe used to be a doctor. (I couldn’t really hear what she was saying because she stopped to talk whilst we were trying to cross a busy road!)

Anyway, at least three of us now have been informed by her that if we ever need to talk she is a counsellor or psychosomething and would be willing to take us on as clients.


This is odd isn’t it? We’ve never experienced this sort of thing before. I mean we’re there to pick up our kids, not because of our mental health. Is this a common thing?

(It’s even odder because many of us are friendly after being together through Reception but she is acting as we don’t know each other. I mean she mentioned that a particular woman looked as if she wasn’t coping... that was my best friend! She copes fine!)

TrainspottingWelsh Sat 21-Sep-19 16:13:39

She’s a shit one if she’s trying to take on acquaintances as clients, at the least it’s ethically dubious. More so if she’s trying to pretend people such as your friend need her services.

Bananalanacake Sat 21-Sep-19 16:15:33

it's weird. can you ask for her business card and check her reviews. might shut her up.

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:17:38

We’re not even acquaintances yet. But even if we were, and we will be because we’re thrown together through school, we don’t need her help! I don’t need her help! If I did I wouldn’t choose someone who gossips at the school gates 😂

Grannybags Sat 21-Sep-19 16:17:46

No advice to give but had to check the thread as I wondered what sort of ‘business’ she was offering!

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:19:29

Bananalanacake I expected her to give me a card but she didn’t. Seems she’s going back to work after being a sahm. Perhaps she thinks this is an easy way to get clients?

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:21:21



If it were ironing I’d take her up on her offer!

WillLokireturn Sat 21-Sep-19 16:27:42

Counsellors don't usually tout for business at the school gate. There should be a degree of professional distance from your clients. Sounds like she's niave and new to counselling world a d looking for the 'worried well" rather than advertising and letting people find her. I'd steer clear and say "I don't think that's appropriate (if touting for your business)/an appropriate comment (if making statements about others)" in reply. Should shut her down.

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:31:58

Thanks. Don’t want to alienate her but it is odd.

TheMustressMhor Sat 21-Sep-19 16:38:35

It's no odder than some of the tragic Facebook listings we occasionally see...

WhatTiggersDoBest Sat 21-Sep-19 16:40:07

Conflict of interest! And she doesn't sound very confidential either from what you've said! Are you sure she's a real counsellor, she sounds like a chancer!

saraclara Sat 21-Sep-19 16:41:13

That's ridiculous. Don't for goodness sake, use her services.

When I was referred for some counselling, I was given an appointment with the counsellor at my GP's practice. A couple of days later, I got a call from her. She said that she had recognised my name as someone whose children had gone to the same playgroup as her son (12 years earlier!). She was calling to let me know that I could be referred on to a different counsellor at a neighbouring practice, because of the link.

No way in a million years would I use a counsellor who was a fellow mum at school, currently. Why would anyone?

WillLokireturn Sat 21-Sep-19 16:46:47

Benefit Don’t want to alienate her but it is odd.

You don't need to alienate her but it is ok to say in reply if she asks you again that it wouldn't be appropriate if you or other school.mum friends should ever need counselling services, which you don't, to see someone you know personally from school run. That's not alienating her, that's nipping her crossing boundaries in the bud. She can be your friend, but not therapist.

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:47:50

She has told at least two of us she used to be a doctor. I don’t know whether that qualifies her or whether she retrained...

Another thing just occurred to me, if people did use her services, her clients would all know each other also. Who would want that?!

DullPortraits Sat 21-Sep-19 16:48:22

Is she a "life coach" sounds the type of thing one of those would do tbh 🙄 stay strong OP and keep away lol 😂

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 16:54:37

I think she is more in need of life skills than me 😁

labazsisgoingmad Sat 21-Sep-19 16:56:39

oh yes as if you would say yes the world and his wife would know you were going for counselling and the gossips would have a field day

Chalfontstgiles Sat 21-Sep-19 16:57:30

Doctor of what? Medical doctor? Doesn't mean she's automatically a qualified psychologist. A good barometer of anyone is if they actively practise within the NHS. I'm at a loss as to why they'd plug this business amongst anyone know to them.

Crockof Sat 21-Sep-19 16:59:04

MLM I reckon some new incarnation.

Funny what the word touting invisaged

NarwhalsNarwhals Sat 21-Sep-19 17:01:19

eurgh, who would want a counsellor they see on the school run every day? Supposing your kids wanted to be friends, or worse, supposing the thing getting you down most that week was that her kid was being mean to your kid or your kid was being mean to hers? There is no way she could stay totally professional and detached.

Benefitofthedoubt Sat 21-Sep-19 17:04:06



Maybe so. Maybe it’s so commonplace on the social networks now that people think it perfectly fine to do this? Anything to make a buck...

I must admit that my first thought was she needed money.

INeedAFlerken Sat 21-Sep-19 17:06:11

Yikes! Stay away from her! Completely unprofessional, actively soliciting for counselling 'clients' at the school gate amongst her child's peergroup parents.

Teddybear45 Sat 21-Sep-19 17:10:19

It’s quite normal for small businesses involving parents and / or kids to have people handing out business cards etc at the school gates. One of my friends is in the bouncy castle for hire business and does this regularly at various different schools and when I was more involved in 11 plus tutoring I would do the same at the morning / afternoon school runs at various preps. Her touting for business isn’t necessarily wrong by itself

AtrociousCircumstance Sat 21-Sep-19 17:11:32

Totally unprofessional. I wonder if she’s fully accredited by the BACP? Somehow I doubt it.

You could ask if she’s accredited and then say “...because practitioners are usually so strict about not crossing boundaries and conflicts of interest?” <head tilt>

MuthaFunka61 Sat 21-Sep-19 17:11:48

I'm in agreement with@Chalfontstgiles,a which modality of counselling and a dr. in what?
I'd be inclined to ask (as what you describe is unprofessional on so many levels) as curiosity would get the better of me.

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