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Mumsnetteers, I need your support to keep me focused.

(7 Posts)
WhipMaWhopMaGate Wed 11-Sep-19 21:29:30

I've told him tonight that I'm leaving, that I've had enough of his ranting, sulking, lack of apologies and the fact that tonight, whilst I had a pretty bad asthma attack, he carried on watching the TV. Mind, the last time I had a bad one he called the paramedics - at my request. Once they'd gone I had to lay down as the meds make me shaky, so he went out for the rest of the day with his daughter.

When I'd managed to get my breathing back under control and told him how I felt about his lack of care towards me, he shouted 'oh here we go, i can't do right for doing wrong, this is why I didn't say anything'!
He said I made him feel bad because he didn't know what to do, and when I suggested educating himself about asthma, that's when he began shouting.
He did offer to make me a cup of tea when his programme had finished though.

I have to leave as this is his house - but it's all my furniture which I will be taking with me . I have fibromyalgia and asthma, but I'm blowed if I'm going to live like this.
It's not the first time he's behaved like this. He will sulk for a day or two, then be back to his usual self with no mention - or apology - re tonight.

So, I need a plan - and the women of mumsnet behind me. I've already found a job I think may be suitable, so will call about that tomorrow.

Pumpkintopf Wed 11-Sep-19 21:32:04

Sending you love and strength. Well done for knowing you are worth more than this man who clearly doesn't care enough about you.

WhipMaWhopMaGate Wed 11-Sep-19 21:52:33


Thank you for your very kind words, they mean a lot. Am currently sat here alone as he's skulked off to bed .

And you know what, I'm feeling more and more angry - how dare he treat me this way.

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow Wed 11-Sep-19 21:57:03

In this scenario, anger is GOOD! It is fuel to help you power through. If it feels right then it probably is. You deserve better, and you know it. Time to kick ass.

2girlsandagap Wed 11-Sep-19 23:57:39

Get your finances in order if you share them, take out enough cash to get yourself established in case he cancels your cards, get your important documents together, passport, birth certificate and kids documents if you have them and check that your location settings on your mobile are switched off.

Speak with the CAB or a solicitor about what your rights are with regards to housing and finances, and make sure to save any messages you receive in case you need them in future to clarify what he has and hasn’t agreed to re division of property, child access etc.
Good luck op- hope it all goes well for you.

WhipMaWhopMaGate Thu 12-Sep-19 09:44:18

@ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow and @2girlsandagap - thanks for your support too.

I'm late 50's, no dependants, separate finances so no problems there. He won't cause any problems as with anything, he'd rather turn his face to the wall than deal with them
He was full of 'concern' this morning - which I don't want, its too late. I'm too shaky this morning to start doing anything physical such as packing, but I've found three job vacancies I can do, plus one or two places to look at, so will start to deal with those.

I want my life back, the one I had before I came here. I just hope it's not too late.

Pumpkintopf Thu 12-Sep-19 22:23:16

Sounds like you're taking some good positive steps op. Stay strong.

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