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Do you think that you are more/less/or equally physcial attractive than your partner?

(8 Posts)
Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Thu 21-Feb-19 16:43:35


Not asking this to be goady. I have been an SM for over 20 years and have low self esteem re my appearance (am mid 40's and look it. I've also had a 'hard life' eg. food poverty and no money for skin care and haircuts ect. in my 30s) Still in a low paid job. Anyhoo, as I've posted on here recently, ere's this guy at work, I've known him for a while in a purely professional way, worked on things together and felt nothing except what a nice helpful colleague. However, we had a meeting the other day and it was like BANG he's gorgeous and I must have him now.

However, because of my lack of looks, or rather because I don't feel attractive, I keep thinking: 'He'd be horrified if I asked him out' He's leaving, so part of me feels like it's now or never...but the self critical voice stops me.

So, I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the same at the start of their relationship and was proved wrong?


MephistophelesApprentice Thu 21-Feb-19 16:46:32

Roll those dice.

Every person I've dated has been waaaay out of my league looks wise. But sometimes it just works out.

Sometimes it doesn't, and that's ok too. Better to play the game than always wonder what might have been.

Hiddenaspie1973 Thu 21-Feb-19 16:48:48

Less now.
I used to be more, but age has not been kind to my looks.

Strugglingtodomybest Thu 21-Feb-19 16:50:26

I think DH is better looking than me, but then I remind myself that I don't see what he sees when I look at myself in the mirror. You don't know why people are attracted to other people really. I hate my crooked tooth for example, but others may find it endearing.

Go for it ok, what have you got to lose?

Walnutwhipster Thu 21-Feb-19 16:59:14

Less but after 25 years I have no insecurities. Once in a club a woman even pushed between us and told me he was out of my league. DH laughed and said, 'That's my wife and on your best day you'll never hold a candle to her.'

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Thu 21-Feb-19 17:05:57

Walnut, what a great guy!

Fartingisfun Thu 21-Feb-19 17:08:47

My husband has beautiful eyes and has got better with age.

I really look my age and I got fat so I think he is probably better looking than me but shared experience means neither of is is really looking at the shell any more.

But I still get lost in his lovely kind eyes.

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Thu 21-Feb-19 17:09:27

Thanks everyone, I guess I just need to be brave. It's not rejection but the potential for pity that is scaring me. 'Oh, bless her, she's got a crush on me, as if!' type of thing.

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