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Do you have any daily rituals or routines to preserve your sanity?

(36 Posts)
sweetdandelion Mon 19-Nov-18 14:56:49

apart from mumsnetting or gin grin

I think I am constantly tense on edge. Normally i'd say I'm a happy and grounded person, but I find that working 4 days a week, staying on top of the dc's school life and activities, household chores and various health niggles, elderly parents and in laws some of whom cause stress.... I feel my breathing is shallow, racing heart, and I am regularly waking up at 5 and can't go back to sleep, not because of massive worries, just a low level sense of buzzing tension and an endless to do list.

I suppose I have lost my mojo trying to keep on top of it all. And I am getting impatient with my family and people in general.

Please would you share some of your 'good' habits that you do to protect your sanity and deal with life's ordinary stresses?


Orangecake123 Mon 19-Nov-18 16:44:05

>I'm a lot more selfish with my time than I used to be and I put myself first now and don't over commit myself. If I don't want to do X with friends I tell them.

>I switch my phone to areoplane mode a lot more, so no intrusive calls when I'm not in the mood .
>Hot showers with lovely soap.
>scented candles
>gym 4 days a week
>full body massages
>cinamon swirls and nice chocolate grin
>nice coffee and a huge mug of my fav tea daily .

Loopytiles Mon 19-Nov-18 16:47:59


Shoulder massage plug in machine thingy.

Good books - library or kindle. Scented candle.


Avoiding alcohol.

Whitebeary Mon 19-Nov-18 16:57:18

You say you work 4 days a week....what do you do when you're not in work and your DC are in school?

I used to work 4 days. Friday's were 'my' days. Everything else could wait. I'd go swimming, our for a walk, meet a friend, go to a yoga class or watch a film (on my own!) in the cinema. Those days would seriously keep my sane and I was fiercely protective of that time!

I now work full time, literally not a moment to myself. Disabled sanity has seriously gone to pot. Joking aside, my mental health really has taken a tremendous battering.

Any chance you could prioritise a little bit time for you each week? It's life changing, trust me!

Magmatic80 Mon 19-Nov-18 17:01:12

On my lunch break I do sit at my desk, but I browse internet and ask people to come back in 20 minutes when they come over and say ‘sorry to interrupt your lunch, but...’

Magmatic80 Mon 19-Nov-18 17:01:51

What I mean is, I HAVE a break over lunch.

Tentomidnight Mon 19-Nov-18 17:10:39

Putting my makeup on in my bedroom, nobody bothers me, I find it calming for 5 minutes.

Walking the dog, looking at the trees changing throughout the year.

Lighting a scented candle fluffing up the cushions in a tidy room.

Watching a really good documentary or drama.

Mumsnetting and gin grin

Kintan Mon 19-Nov-18 17:19:12

I have a daily bath, even if it's just for 10 mins. I find it really recharges my batteries. Also I make sure I have take a travel mug of hot chocolate on my commute during the cold weather which kind of cheers me up on these dark cold mornings.

Boyskeepswinging Mon 19-Nov-18 17:25:12

I know it sounds like knitting your own sandals but I find mindfulness techniques great to escape the responsibilities of my busy life. Along with watching random crap on YouTube that is a total escape from real life!

IStandWithPosie Mon 19-Nov-18 17:27:25

I make time to take my time in the mornings. I think through everything that needs done or can be done the night before so that my mornings are as calm and stress free as possible. It makes such a difference to how my day goes if my morning goes smoothly. I do as much as i can in the evening to avoid any forgetting in the morning because I’m just not fully switched on beforehand 10am. I also make sure I get my cup of tea and breakfast and I take my time at it. I really love my first cup of tea of the day and I savour it.

Evenings I aim to have everything done by 7pm so that once DC are in bed (at 7) I can light some candles and just chill on my own on the sofa. Knowing everything is done and I have a couple of hours to knit or watch tv or read. It doesn’t happen every night as DCs have clubs but it does most nights.

I think planning things out in advance is the key to freeing up brain space. I meal plan so I’m not spending time during the day working out what to have for dinner. I know what we’re having, I know all the ingredients are there or that it’s defrosting in the fridge ready to be heated when needed. I also put everything in my calendar. I find it sticks in my brain far better if I’ve seen it written down. Avoids that whole “I know I’ve something to do on Friday afternoon but I can’t think what it is” scenario. I even have a laundry schedule so I know the right clothes are washed for the days we need them and I’m not worrying about having to find things that may or may not be clean. It’s written up on our chore board so even DC know what needs to be put in the wash on what days.

Getting quality sleep is also massively important. It makes such a difference for me being able to cope with the demands of life.

LotsOfHappySmiles Mon 19-Nov-18 17:31:32

I like to relax in a hot bath.

Love a nice hot chocolate and lovely biscuits before bed. And have a read in bed before I go to sleep, it's more relaxing that being on my phone.

I always take a lunch break and go for a walk.

I depend on my lists and calendar to keep on top of everything, including appointments, shopping, birthdays and to do lists. That way I feel in control day to day.

I try to get up first, so that I can have a little quiet time before the mayhem starts.

LucilleBluth Mon 19-Nov-18 17:35:49

Yes to baths, books and good coffee. But weirdly I always have a fantasy life on the go that keeps me sane,...bear with me, at the moment I am having a wild affair with Domhnall Gleeson (this changes) and I'm a successful playwright. I can always retreat into this.

I am a fully functional wife and mother of three, honestly.

sweetdandelion Mon 19-Nov-18 17:38:28

Thank you.

white On my day off when the kids are in school I usually tidy, do the grocery shopping or mumsnet for hours. I feel low on energy and don't exercise blush. I don't read as internetting and having dc has reduced my attention span.

I don't think I'm super at my work either as I feel torn in all directions and find it hard to do everything and everyone in my life justice.

Kintan I used to love a lovely bath but strangely since trying a water birth with ds 2 and failing miserably I have a bit of an aversion to baths but do love a nice shower.

Boys what sort of mindfulness techniques do you do? I would give that a go.

Loopytiles I think I could reduce my wine intake and probably should.

How can I get into exercising with mild arthritis and a busy week?

One possibility is to reduce my working week further but 3 days feels unproductive in a busy office and I'm not sure my boss would go for it anyway.

festivellama Mon 19-Nov-18 17:39:41

I'm the first one to leave the house in the morning. Breathe a sigh of relief every day grin

Conseulabananahammock Mon 19-Nov-18 17:40:31

Blatantly bookmarking, as a very stressed mum of 3/full time carer for 2 youngest/maid/cleaner/dogsbody/verysleepyperson

Conseulabananahammock Mon 19-Nov-18 17:41:35

2 year old even not 2 youngest 😑💤💤

sweetdandelion Mon 19-Nov-18 17:43:20

festivellama grin I know the feeling!

LucilleBluth I sued to daydream and have an imaginary life when I was younger but now I would feel guilty, maybe I should give it a go for a rejuvenating bit escapism.

IStandWithPosie Mon 19-Nov-18 17:43:40

You could look for a yoga or Pilates class for your non working weekday. I used to have a Wednesday morning off and used it to attend a yoga class. I loved having that one hour a week that was literally just about me and being for no purpose other than that I enjoyed it, not about achieving anything or getting better at anything. I didn’t care how crap I was at yoga, I just felt great after it.

Cleanermaidcook Mon 19-Nov-18 17:44:20

I work 4 days too and my day off is often cleaning/ironing and shopping but I Tey to have a complete me day about once a month when I take myself out to the cinema and for a coffee.
I also love listening to music and have a hot bath in peace every night after the kids have gone to bed.

agedknees Mon 19-Nov-18 17:52:38

Dog walking. Phone is switched off and it’s just me and the dog (rural canal path dog walking).

Lovely hot bath.

Be gentle with yourself. Who cares if the house isn’t perfect.

agedknees Mon 19-Nov-18 17:53:17

Oh, and swimming is good if you have arthritis.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Mon 19-Nov-18 17:57:42

Half an hour with MN and a cuppa is a must after I've woken up

ElspethFlashman Mon 19-Nov-18 18:26:59

Definitely MNing sporadically here and there.

Having a skincare routine and trying new things. It's not what it does, so much as the accidental facial massaging, I suspect. No matter what you use, it's 5/10 mins of basically gently rubbing your face. It's soothing. And then I'm all clean and fragrant and pink and nice. Sometimes I come home from work with a headache and I'm not "right" till I've washed my face. Headache lessens as I wash the day down the sink.

I also read a LOT. Currently reading the latest Shardlake, Tombland, and finding it very satisfying escapism.

SlatternIsTrying Mon 19-Nov-18 18:44:02

Watching with interest OP as I could have written your post.

I try to ‘reset’ the house at the weekend to start fresh on a Monday. Failed miserable this weekend and I don’t see how it’s going to get better due to commitments before Christmas.

IStandWithPosie Mon 19-Nov-18 18:44:57

I also don’t watch the news unless there is something I specifically want to hear about. Too much to stress me out.

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