Christmas - would this be really bad?

[PiedWagtail]

Each year we alternate seeing my parents and dh's mum over Xmas itself. This year it's dh's mum's turn. Last night dh suggested having her to stay for the weekend before xmas - 21-23 Dec, when his son, my dss, will be here too. So we can have xmas day to ourselves.

Not sure what I think about this. Is he being mean not wanting his mum to be here on xmas day?? Is the weekend before Christmas just as good??? They get on ok but are not that close. Help! WWYD??

[exoticfruits]

It depends what she would do otherwise.

[AChickenCalledKorma]

If she will enjoy having an early Christmas with all her grandchildren, that seems fine to me. And Christmas Day to yourselves will be lovely. But not if you are feeling guilty about her - no-one on here will really be able to tell you how she will react.

(This is the reason we deliberately never established a pattern of whose "turn" it is to see us at Christmas. Every few years we throw in one which we spend on our own and see the GPs at a different time. Everyone is fine about it.)

[3bunnies]

Sounds ideal so she can see all the gc, as long as she doesn't think about extending it so she stays through for Christmas day too.... (or maybe that's just my in-laws)

[Pourquoimoi]

Depends if that would now mean she's on her own for Christmas?

We've avoided a pattern for this very reason too.

[PiedWagtail]

Sorry - she lives with her oldest son (but that's a whole other kettle of fish) so she won;t be on her own on Xmas day she will have overgrown man child in his bedroom - at the age of 60

[Pourquoimoi]

In that case, do it but just make sure it's clear that it is one or the other. Along the lines of "We thought you might prefer to come when DSS is here instead of Xmas as you'd get to see him then too... Which would you like?"