DD has come home pleased that their house has won the attendance award this week. “We were lucky no one was ill”. She wasn’t joking. 😀

I have a cash ISA already (which I use for my emergency fund) but would like to start investing.

I have never invested before - a complete novice.

I’ve got 20k to put in a Stocks & Shares ISA.

Thinking of opening a trading 212 account- is that the best way?

I'm looking for good, strict state mixed or boys schools in or close to Camden, Westminister, Brent, Barnet, Haringey, Islington or City of London. Catchment area isn't really an issue for me as i am willing to move! Thanks in advance xx

Although some of the skirts and dresses I’ve bought in recent years have pockets, I have plenty of older clothes that don’t, that I would like to be able to wear without worrying about where I’m going to put things, especially at work when I only have my rucksack and I’m just popping to the toilet or to another office. I’m not surgically attached to my phone but do sometimes need to take it with me, or have other small bits (tampons, tissues, lip balm etc etc) that I need.

Is there a solution that does not involve me learning to add pockets? Much as I’d like to learn to sew at some point, I simply don’t have the time, inclination or equipment, and some fabrics (e.g. leather or satin) are going to be tricky for skilled people, so no matter how simple it is, it’s not an option for me!

The only thing I can think of other than a bumbag is one of those money belt things you used to get for airport travel - think my dad had one in the 80s! Does a stylish version of this exist? Or something better?

I need to go to the gp next week. But the appointment is at 2.30pm. So I'm going to have to get ds from school early. Because I won't make it to his school on time. Could there be an issue if I leave him in the waiting room whilst I see gp? Hes 11 and sen. But he will likely just watch youbtube or something.

My son has started tutoring in Electronic Music production. I know, I’m not sure what it is either 😁 But his long term flatmate has been less than matey and not given him any notice that he’s moving out. Son doesn’t want to stay in the flat (it’s very expensive and the rain comes in, among other things) He’s 26, works with autistic people of all ages three days a week and tutors/produces music in the studio on the other days. He cannot find anywhere to live. He doesn’t want to live with students, he did his time in Fallowfield 😁 He’d actually prefer to be a lodger now rather than in a flatshare. Is anyone in Manchester looking for a very clean, decent, hard working and personable lodger? Or does anyone know of any flat shares? 🤞🤞🤞I live in Scotland or I’d have him living back with me in a heartbeat. Thank you all.

Guess I’m just after a bit of reassurance or at least perspective, I know I shouldn’t care but I can’t help going over this in my head and have no one else to really talk to for an opinion!

My child has been at the school for 4 years and in this time I’ve become friendly with a few of the parents at drop off - not anything special but enough to chat to. I’m pretty average, not loud not shy just on the middle. Just talk about the kids or mundane every day stuff. I’m conscious not to be exclusive and always try to be open to chat to new people, I’m not in a so called “clique” or anything. I get not everyone wants to talk though and that’s fine too!

There’s one mum though, who never talks to me. Only comes over to chat to others if I’m standing separately or haven’t arrived yet. I have even walked past her a couple of times and said “hello” in just a normal friendly way as we’ve passed each other, and she completely blanks me! I did it the second time to check that I wasn’t mistaken the first time!! She is friendly to many others.

I just feel weird about it! I know I can’t have done anything awful as haven’t had the opportunity even to have said something by mistake! So, it doesn’t really matter I guess and I should just forget about it. But i can’t help being curious as to what the reason could be! Anyone want to suggest potential reasons I may have missed?

When did we start referring to children at school as students? I absolutely hate it. They were always pupils in my day, which I'll admit wasn't yesterday. It doesn't improve anything just causes confusion. There was a post on MN where someone said they had taught a student. I automatically thought of college or uni. Someone asked if it was a schoolchild or an adult. If we didn't refer to school children as students the world would be a much easier place to navigate.

My baby is currently 7 weeks old and is struggling to pass bowel movements (a mixture of soft/hard stool) She was on cow and gate but we moved her to Kendamil comfort but it's not really helped and possibly made things worse. She will only go to the toilet when encouraged by me or my partner. Can anyone recommend a different formula or have a similar experience?

Looking for recommendations of must do/see/eat for East Neuk in the spring 🙏No kids.

I really struggle with this group of mums, I don’t know where I’m going wrong, can I talk about today for example and get some insight on where to improve my interactions?

I recognised a mum in my son’s year group (year 2) it’s a 3 form entry, and said hello to her, we sat on a bench together waiting. Conversation was polite and nice. Another mum I recognised walked near us and I said hello to her too and she was standing so I moved to the edge and said there’s a seat here. We talked for about 20 seconds and then I introduced the other lady to her and they chatted which was fine but then they just talked to each other and didn’t even look in my direction. I tried to interject where I could but they didn’t even make eye contact again. They carried on chatting after 5 minutes I got up and said “have a nice weekend, take care” really friendly not in a horrible way, they looked up said bye and carried on talking! I felt a bit uncomfortable just sitting there on the edge whilst they were chatting away there so that’s why I said bye and moved closer to where kids will line up.

I said hi to the people I was standing next to. I smiled and was friendly to all the new parents. The kids parents from my sons class who is in year 2 now came to the line one by one but not one said hello to me! I am always the person that first says hello so today I thought let’s see what happens. The one I thought was good friends with me as she’s been to my house numerous times and we have met up for coffee without the kids and play dates with the kids she blanked me too! She said hello to the other parents in my class and there were about 8 of them in a circle talking,

Y am I going wrong? Please don’t dismiss my feeling by saying usual moment stuff of “who cares “, “why don’t you make friends outside of the mum groups”. I don’t want to be best buddies with becomes but I do want to not walk away every Friday feeling they hate me and I’ve done something wrong, I only see them Fridays as it’s my job working day, but I don’t think this is the reason we’re not close as there’s a doctor in the group too and she only goes pink up and drop offs like 2 times a month whereas I am there once a week sometimes 2 or 3 if I don’t have meetings.

Recently I was stuck on a plane on the tarmac for one and a half hours waiting for the lift that takes people off the plane, who can't get down the stairs. One woman got so fed up she went down the stairs on her bum.

None of this is unusual. We have to book accessibility services ahead of time, get to the airport in plenty of time, and yet still there is often lots of waiting around because they have not organised enough staff to provide the service. It's staffing, when we left the plane we could see three lifts not being used, so they obviously were short staffed.

Disabled people pay for their tickets, but are expected to just put up with a standard of service that would lead to outrage if able bodied people had to put up with it. Imagine if planes routinely sat on the tarmac for up to a few hours before they brought the steps to the plane.

Has anyone else found the GOV.UK one login identity verification process for small business hard?
I swear it is the most labyrinthine process ive come across. I managed to do it earlier this year for my husband, but I now have to do it, and I've forgotten how difficult it is! Swearing 🤬
My teeny tiny little brain misses the old days 😪

I do have bad health anxiety and OCD so I need to know what "normal" parents would think or feel in this situation. I need to know if my worries are valid or just my OCD speaking. What would 95% of parents think?

Daughter is 17 months old.

My daughter was born healthy at 39 weeks. I accidentally gave her HSV1 (cold sore virus) when she was 3.5 months. I regret it everyday. Very stressful for me at the time because she was so young but she was fine. Had quite a few sores around her mouth but no fever and was acting well throughout. Went away in a couple weeks. Looked scary but was uncomplicated and considered mild.

She had a few months without cold sores. But now gets frequent recurrences. At 7 months she got her first recurrence. It was really bad and she spread it to her hands because her hands were ALWAYS in her mouth at the time. No fever or anything and she still acted fine but it looked physically bad. Went away in a couple weeks.

Her recurrences in the first year of her life got milder though still physically looked large. She gets them now on her hands and her face.

Now recently, her recurrences over the past 6 months have been incredibly mild. She does start acyclovir on the first day we see blisters, but even before she starts the drug the outbreaks start out much milder. They now only last 3-5 days and are very small and superficial (on her fingers and mouth). They honestly started going away after 2 days now. Colds are big triggers (and she started daycare this year which is a germ fest). Her eczema/dry skin is also a trigger.

The cold sores themselves don't really bug me right now. They appear to be really mild.

But of course, I am worried about rare dangerous genetic immunodeficiencies that could be CAUSING her frequent recurrences. I looked into GATA2 deficiency, DOCK8 deficiency, etc. My biggest current worry is GATA2. I am worried my husband has it and is undiagnosed. Why did she get a symptomatic infection at 3 months old? apparently that's rare. Why do they occur so often?

She also may have a few very tiny Molluscum Contagiosum bumps right now (apparently a very common viral infection in toddlers?). Otherwise she is healthy. Has only had a few minor daycare colds, one roseola and one norovirus in her life (she got a very mild version of norovirus which completely wiped out me and her dad). Growing great, active, crazy toddler. Only had 3 mild short-lived fevers in her life (1 with a cold, 1 with roseola and 1 with norovirus).

Me and my husband are healthy. Rarely get sick apart from a couple minor colds a year. Haven't been on antibiotics in like 15+ years. But this summer my husband had a skin boil on his leg from a hair follicle (popped on its own after a week) and right now he has a skin infection around the nail bed of his thumb. And I am very worried this is an immune system issue that he passed down to my daughter.

Also, I analyze her skin so much. I notice the occasional teeny tiny pinpoint (usually isolated and one-off) petechiae (broken blood vessel). Usually it's just a one off singular pinpoint dot. Earlier this week though when I picked her up from her new daycare she had a cluster under her eyes, though it faded a lot by the next morning. And then I analyze her skin for more of them. A couple days later I find a single tiny pinpoint petechiae in the spot where her cold sore recently healed 2 weeks ago. So I think about immunodeficiencies that can also cause petechiae. Or maybe it's leukemia?

Am I being crazy? Is the worry about immune problems just my anxiety speaking? What would you think as a normal parent lol

I live in a nice, leafy, well off area, good catchments etc in a small town / large village. Theres a few social activities in the town, annual flower show, Britain in bloom, pub quiz etc. some of the flower show competitions and the pub quiz are done by street. Best kept street and so ob.

Our street doesn’t join in. It’s not that people are antisocial or not interested in these sorts of things I don’t think, it’s just that there’s nobody who is the confident and organised type who lives here. I’m not that sort of person but I think I could be and I think it could be fun and others might find it fun.

I’m thinking of pushing notes through the door seeing if people want to start a WhatsApp group. What does anyone think? Do you have a WhatsApp group for the street? It might be nice to look out for each other a bit more, but might it be a bit too ‘in your face?’ Views!

This probably seems like a silly thing to write a thread about and I probably shouldn’t care about whether I’m liked or not but here we are!

I’ve worked in my current team for quite a few years (almost 9, private sector). I’ve always got on well with my colleagues. Naturally there’s ups and downs when you work with people closely for a number of years but there’s never been anything dramatic! This year I’ve had 6 months off sick. Firstly this was due to pregnancy complications which then resulted in a miscarriage so I was off longer for that. Since I’ve come back I just feel like I don’t fit in anymore, it’s like they don’t really want to chat with me when I’m making an effort but are warm and bubbly with other colleagues so it’s definitely just me! I try to make conversation and just get one word answers. If I try and join in on chit chat I just get ignored. If I walk in the staff room at lunch time they all just go quiet, we’re not a huge team, theres 6 of us in each day and it’s fully office based not WFH so it’s really obvious. It just feels like the dynamic has changed and it’s all a bit high school/bitchy. I was already struggling with getting back to work full time so this on top of everything is making things 10x worse.

I don’t know if they’re upset about being short staffed for so long or what (they all knew why I was off) but other than that I don’t know what I’m doing or have done wrong. I’ve made the odd mistake since coming back to work and trying to get back into the swing of things but nothing terrible or that would have impacted them. I’m honestly trying my best when I’m still struggling both physically and emotionally and I wish I didn’t care but I genuinely like them as people and we’ve always got on so well before it’s making me feel awful.

I'm looking for a pair of simple black shoes for winter. Basically I want a ballet flat or court style shoe with a 3 to 5 cm heel. Doesn't have to be leather, but must be water resistant so not suede or material, round-ish toe and no strap. Prefer the heel to be reasonably substantial so no kitten heels.

TIA

i know burrata can vary widely in quality so this isn’t just a ‘where can you buy burrata’ question, rather do any supermarkets stock good quality, tasty versions?

Unexpectedly entertaining tomorrow and I’d like to get my hands on decent burrata (I’ve a back up plan if none of the recommended brands are available.)

The closest specialist cheesemonger is too far with everything I’ve to do tomorrow.
Thanks

For context, I have a male friend of many years who I did briefly date (approx. 3 months, 2 years ago), although it didn't work out. We broke up amicably, but as a romantic partner, it absolutely could never have worked due to fundamental differences in values, lifestyle, politics, emotional avoidance and a rigidity to routine that I just couldn't cope with.

Ever since we broke up, we've continued to meet as friends every month or so, just for a walk or a drink (you can throw me to the wolves if you believe this was a stupid idea haha). We have both continued to date other people, so often discuss that, alongside other topics.

Over the past year, I've noticed a huge shift in him - he has clearly become seriously bitter about women and his lack of success in dating. He has started complaining about women, outrightly objecting the concept of feminism and claiming that women have all the power (to the point we have almost had huge arguments), making claims that the women he has been dating are "too intense", "needy", "immature", "psychologically unstable" etc etc... 😫
He even started 'joking' that I was "erratic" and "full on" as a woman.

All this alongside making other offensive claims e.g. people who 'claim' to have ADHD are just 'retards'... (he argued this was a translation issue, as he is French, but I'm not convinced! FYI I have ADHD myself, so this was infuriating)
He has also 1) become completely obsessed with his body and gym routine, as he believes women are only interested in 6"2 men with a six pack, 2) studies dating app algorithms like it is a research project, and sadly, 3) completely lost his sense of humour.

Anyway, the last time I met up with him, I reached my limit and angrily snapped to ask him very bluntly "have you ever considered that the women you are dating are not the problem, but perhaps YOU are? Why would there be a pattern of women becoming anxious and leaving you because you aren't offering anything emotionally? Why would a woman feel safe staying with a man who outrightly tries to debunk feminism and women's rights? Why would a woman feel safe with someone wondering whether you are constantly judging their intellectual and emotional capacity? Are you SURPRISED that you're not having any success??" 😵

He didn't take it that well - and now I feel like a mean bitch.

It has been really painful to experience someone I considered a friend, respected and admired in terms of talents and their ability to love (albeit in a very practical way rather than the emotional depth I crave) fall down this worm hole. I wonder what they've been influenced by online, or by other men.

I'm so confused because he seems such a sensitive soul in many ways, and had a partner of 8 years before we dated, so it is clearly not impossible for him to form a long-term relationship.

AIBU to have criticised him directly about his attitude, or have i just added fuel to the fire?

Bonnie Blue’s latest stunt is to post a video holding her newborn, surrounded by masked men while talking about getting back to making sexual content after having a c-section. Her baby’s onesie matches the colour of the mask worn by the men.

How this is not using a baby to promote sexual content, I do not know. It’s sickening.

I know all she wants is publicity but I sincerely hope this time she gets all the attention she deserves and her baby is taken away from her and placed with a family that can give the child the love, care and protection a child needs. The Tories have reported her to the NSPCC but why has she not been reported to the police??

I'm pretty sure I already know what this means but I can't talk to anyone close right now because I don't have the energy.
Husband got asked to comply with a paternity test request from abroad. It was issued via a solicitor's office by post. I know the requestor, or at least have met her before some years ago. One of those times she was pregnant and she and her husband were so happy.

He denies everything and refuses to engage and says he doesn't have to.
I don't know why I am even writing this. I somehow already know that it's probably true and that he'll never admit it.

Going to get nails done for a party tomorrow.. an wearing black, what colour nails should I go for…?

I feel quite conflicted about this because I love my sister. I don't want this to become one of those "I'm successful and my sister is a mess" posts, because that's not how I see her at all.

We're only 18 months apart and grew up in Gloucestershire in a very comfortable family. We went to good schools and universities, and our parents/grandparents supported us financially after university while we travelled. We were both extremely lucky. We both spent 2-3 years after university just travelling around the world, no jobs or anything, it was just covered by our family.
My sister was always the academic one. She was very bright, went to a more prestigious university and was much more driven than me. I was fairly average academically and went to Durham in the mid-2000s to study theology, largely because I wanted the university experience, social life and lacrosse. I came out with a 2:1, everyone was happy and I went travelling afterwards.We've never really competed with each other. In fact she's always been someone I've looked up to in certain ways and we've always had a close relationship.

Our lives have just turned out very differently.
I came back from travelling, got a job and gradually worked. I'm now in a reasonably senior role, DH has a good job and we're financially comfortable. We have two DC and we don't have to think particularly hard about whether we can afford everyday things. My sister has had a much harder time. She's been divorced twice and has recently had another relationship breakdown. She works, but isn't particularly well paid, hasn't bought a house and doesn't have much savings.Her children have also decided to live with their father full time. She still sees them but not nearly as much as she would like and I know that has absolutely devastated her.So I don't lack sympathy for her. I really don't. I know she's had a lot of things go wrong and I know that some of what she's dealing with isn't simply a case of "make better choices".The problem is that over the last few years I've gradually become the person who sorts out the money side of things.

It started with £500 here, £1,000 there. Then it became more frequent and larger amounts. In the last year I've lent her just under £20,000.I've never really chased her for repayment because, honestly I don't desperately need it back. I can afford to help her.She's now asked me for another £5,000.And I don't want to give it to her.That sounds horrible when I write it down because I can afford it. If I gave her £5k tomorrow my children wouldn't go without anything and our life wouldn't change.But I think something has changed.I'm no longer thinking, "My sister needs help and I can help her."I'm thinking, "Oh God, I'm being asked for money again."And I don't like that feeling.I don't want to start resenting her.
I've tried to help in ways other than just giving her money. I've suggested counselling because she's been through two divorces, another relationship breakdown and losing day to day contact with her children and I think she could probably do with some proper support.My parents have also offered her their bungalow near where we grew up. It's currently empty, so she could move there and dramatically reduce her living costs while she works things out.
She's said no.And I completely understand that it's her decision. I don't think she should have to live somewhere she doesn't want to live just because it's financially sensible.But I also think this is where my feelings become complicated.Because I can respect her right to make those choices while also deciding that I don't want to financially absorb the consequences of them.
And I don't know if that's selfish.Part of me thinks: I'm lucky, I have more than enough, she's my sister, why wouldn't I help her?If I had a sister who was genuinely struggling, surely I'd want to make her life a little easier.
But another part of me thinks that I'm starting to feel responsible for keeping her life afloat, and I don't want that responsibility.I don't want to become her emergency fund.I don't want to be checking what she's spent money on, questioning whether something was necessary, or getting irritated when she tells me she's struggling again. I don't want money to become this constant undercurrent in our relationship.And perhaps most importantly I don't want to get to the point where I secretly resent her while continuing to tell her yes because I feel guilty.That feels like it would be much worse for our relationship in the long run.

Growing up, she was the clever one. She was the person who was expected to achieve more academically and professionally. I was the less serious one who was better at sport and socialising and all I cared about back then was boys.
Now I'm the one with the money and she's the one asking me for it.
I don't think she is jealous of me. I don't think I'm better than her. But I do wonder whether there is something painful for both of us about that reversal and I don't want money to become part of how we see each other.
I also don't want to punish her for having a difficult life. That's what makes saying no so difficult.

I'm not thinking, "She made her bed, let her lie in it." I don't actually believe that. People get divorced. Relationships fail. People struggle financially. Children make choices that hurt their parents. Life can go badly even when you're a perfectly decent person. But I also think there has to be a point where helping someone stops being something you freely choose to do and starts becoming an expectation. My parents stopped lending her money some time ago. My brothers won't give her money either. So, increasingly, I'm the person she comes to because she knows I'll probably say yes. And I think I want to change that. Not because I don't love her. Actually probably because I do.
I want to be able to have a relationship with my sister where we talk, laugh, see each other and support each other without me constantly wondering when the next financial request is coming.

I'm considering telling her that I won't lend her any more money. I'm happy to help her think through options, help with practical things, listen to her and obviously be there for her emotionally. But I don't want to transfer another £5k.
I feel guilty even writing that because I know I have the means to help her.

Is this a reasonable boundary to put in place with someone I love, or if you have the means to make your sibling's life materially easier, do you have some sort of moral responsibility to do so? And if you've ever had to stop financially helping a close family member, how do you do it without making them feel that you're abandoning them?

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and very happy. Morning sickness gone and insomnia getting better, body settling into ‘new normal’ after always being quite slim in active job. First baby.

I bumped into a colleague, who is a nice guy and I get on well with, I haven’t seen him since being pregnant and he kind of looked aghast and said ‘I just can’t believe how much weight you’ve put on’. I replied at the time, abit stunned, ‘yes that’s what happens’.
I told my husband and we both laughed and initially I wasn’t bothered and thought what an idiot but I have now asked my husband about 6 times since last night if he thinks I’m fat 😂 so it is obviously bothering me subconsciously.

I’m well and baby is well. I’ve put on 14 lbs which the midwife hasn’t said anything about and I don’t feel out of proportion. Eating normal healthy foods and portions now post 12 weeks after struggling with only being able to stomach bland carbs during morning sickness.

Please can anyone share similar experiences and what whitty comebacks you had to nip it in the bud!?

Is there an expectation that people's toilets should have an air freshener in? Like a spray air freshener?

We always have air freshener in both our toilets in case friends or family get caught short when visiting us or even to freshen the bathroom after having a wee if necessary, so I hate it if I go to a friend/family members house and they have none.

I get some people may be affected by asthma but surely if you had asthma you wouldn't use it?

We have a glade air freshener at work that sprays into the space where the wash handbasins are for example.