Utterly mortified. Bit of background… been divorced for nearly two years after a horrendous marriage. Thanks to good friends helping me with an exit plan, I managed to get out and am now in my own lovely little home. Two DS, 11 and 14 who I share custody with my ex 50/50. Eldest son doesn’t always see eye to eye with his dad who lives about 20 mins walk away.

So yesterday was changeover day and as kids are on half term, they went back to their dad’s at lunchtime and I’m not due to get them back now until Weds (we use a 5 5 2 2 schedule). I was working Fri afternoon and suddenly my eldest appears in my house (he has a key) as he’d had a row with his dad and didn’t want to go back. DS and Ex have a decent relationship but they clash quite a bit and I’m very close to my son. I had a good talk with him and when my ex arrived to come get him, had a talk with him too, calmed the situation and they went back to my ex’s house.

Later that evening my boyfriend of one year came over for some food and a film. It’s worth mentioning here that my kids haven’t met him yet. They’ve bumped into him once, and I talk about him, but more as a close friend I guess. The reason for that is I’m not about to introduce them to someone unless I know they’re going to be sticking around. Ex got a new girlfriend straight after the split and has been with her for 22 months now. At the beginning the kids struggled a little with this, it was quite soon after the split; my ex did the same thing and didn’t introduce her to them straight away incase it didn’t work out. The kids were recently introduced to her properly, and seem ok with it, although it’s a little awkward for them as she’s a teacher at their school. Anyway.. I certainly wasn’t going to introduce my boyfriend to them when they were in the throes of adjusting to dad’s new girlfriend and going on holiday with her and her kids etc.. it’s a lot for them to take in still. So I’ve kept it as mentioning my boyfriends name quite a bit as a friend and then when im sure the relationship has a solid future, i figured this would make it easier to introduce him to the kids.

Back to last night.. boyfriend was round watching a movie, and at about 9pm we got frisky in my living room and then again in the bedroom and then made some food. My phone was in a different room charging. When I went to get it around 11:15pm , I saw a text from the ex at 11pm saying that (unknown to me), my eldest had had a row with him and had run to mine around 9pm, let himself in and saw me having sex 😣 and had got such a shock he ran back to his dads in his socks(!) and now isn’t wanting to speak to me because he feels lied to. I had NO idea he was even in the house and only found out when I went to get my phone from the other room at 11pm. Ex had also texted at 9pm to say DS had rowed with him and was running to mine but I hadn’t seen this. Ex didn’t appear to have tried to stop DS running to mine.
i immediately tried to get in touch with DS as I could see he was still online, but he said he didn’t want to talk and turned his phone off. He’s really upset. I think the “feeling lied to” is probably because I haven’t introduced my boyfriend to him yet and he feels kept in the dark (which he hated when it happened with my ex’s girlfriend at the beginning of their relationship).

Utterly mortified and need advice how to handle this. I’m so close to DS, and he’s never not wanted to talk before and is obviously very shocked and embarrassed and upset. Help!

I’m not new to solo travel, but I am new to solo summer travel.

I have a few beach visits planned and don’t really know what to do with my stuff if I go to the beach? Do I just leave my bag on the beach and hope it doesn’t get knicked, or do I accept that I just won’t be going in the sea unless I book into a beach club?

My sister recently moved to the same town as me but into a flat without a garden. She has a dog who only likes to do his business in a garden, not out on a walk. Since moving she has been letting herself into my garden with her dog so he can do his business in my garden as he won't do it anywhere else according to her. She does pick up after him but it all goes in my wheelie bin which stinks!

I had no problem with her dog using my garden when she would occasionally visit before but now it's become every day, 2 sometimes 3 times a day.

I've asked her to stop as I have young children who, now that the summer is finally here, want to play in the back garden and it just annoys me that all of the lawn area has had dog poo on it and as he gets a dodgy stomach fairly often, some of it is diarrhoea so my sister has been ripping up the grass in those areas when trying to pick it up.

Anyway, she's now very unhappy with me for saying her dog can't use my garden as his toilet any more and has said it's not a big deal and I'm overreacting and being difficult.

AIBU?

I completely understand in the UK we are currently experiencing extremely high temperatures, however......

why is it so many people smell really strongly of B.O first thing in the morning? I was on the bus Saturday morning around 9am and their were one or two people who smelled really strongly, not just slightly. This morning I was in my local shop around 10am and the man in front of me smelled that strongly that when he left, the smell even lingered.

I can understand if it was towards the end of the day, then it would be more reasonable that people would have B.O. I am just really irritated how these people think it's acceptable that other people have to put up with their offensive smell.

Okay I'll go first....
Those Norwegian socks
Purdy and Fig (caught me on one of those bloody automatic subscriptions too so I paid twice!)
The singing cactus toy! (Although I still think its funny 😂)

The govt have released a list of 125 "everyday essentials" that they plan to cut tax on to help families with the cost of living.

It's a bit of a weird list. Beans, biscuits and chocolate yes, a bit more baffled by the fresh figs, gherkins and plantains. And I had to google fonio.

Aubergines
Avocados
Baked beans
Bananas (fresh and dried)
Biscuits
Boiled sweets
Bread
Buckwheat
Candied fruit
Chewing gum
Chocolate (bulk and retail)
Chocolate bars
Chocolate drink preparations
Chocolate spreads
Chocolate with fruit, nuts or cereal
Citrus fruits (various)
Cocoa paste
Cocoa powder
Couscous
Crispbread
Crisps
Dried apples
Dried apricots
Dried figs
Dried papaya
Dried peaches/nectarines
Dried pears
Fonio
Fresh figs
Frozen fruits
Garlic
Gherkins
Gingerbread
Green tea
Jams and marmalades
Limes
Liquorice products
Margarine
Marzipan and pastes
Mixed dried fruit
Mixed fats and oils
Mixed fruit and nuts
Mixed nuts
Mixed preserved fruit and nuts
Non-alcoholic beverages
Olive oil (extra virgin)
Olive oil (other)
Olive oil (virgin)
Olives (for oil production)
Olives (fresh/chilled)
Olives (frozen)
Other fresh fruits
Other peppers (capsicum/pimenta)
Pickled peppers
Pizzas and quiches
Plant-based drinks
Plantains (fresh and dried)
Prepared vegetables
Preserved beans
Preserved citrus fruits
Preserved tropical fruit
Preserved vegetables
Processed potatoes
Quinoa
Rusks
Soups and broths
Sugar confectionery
Sugar tablets
Sweet peppers
Throat pastilles
Toasted bread products
Toffees and caramels
Tomato ketchup
Tomato sauces
Vegetable oils
Waffles and wafers

Hi all!

As the title says - what are the little luxuries that are worth spending a bit more on for you? Just little bits that make you feel more intentional, I like a thin silk scrunchie for my hair instead of a normal hair band. It just makes me feel a bit put together.

We’ve made the decision to home educate our child. Fulltime school isn’t right for our family, and I genuinely believe that play based, informal learning suits early childhood far better than sitting at desks from age five. I’d have been open to flexi-schooling if our local school allowed it, but they don’t so we’ve chosen home education.

What’s surprised me is the strength of the negative reaction from our teacher friends. These are people who regularly describe the state of education as dire. Dreadful behaviour, no funding, days spent on crowd control rather than actual teaching, children falling through the cracks, classrooms falling apart, pressure to hit their academies’ targets rather than do what’s best for the kids, they can’t even afford gluesticks. This insight into education from a teacher’s perspective has also informed my decision to home ed.

However when I said I was going to home educate, suddenly schools are wonderful and I’m making a terrible mistake. It started a few weeks ago when a teacher friend mentioned our children will be in the same class and since then the comments about how awful home ed is have kept coming. I’ve been shrugging it off to avoid an argument, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated. I’ve spent years validating how broken the system is, for both teachers and children, and yet the moment I choose to opt out of it, it becomes the only way to educate a child.

For context, my husband and I are both well-educated and take our child’s learning seriously. I feel comfortable teaching the early foundations like reading, writing and maths, and we plan to build projects around history, geography, science and whatever else our child shows an interest in. Beyond that, we haven’t planned anything because our child is still one. As we go through it, we’ll learn about what works for our family, and we’ll have seen how other home ed families approach things as children get older. We haven’t ruled out school further down the line either; it might turn out to be the right fit at some stage.

I’m not looking to convince anyone or get into a debate about home ed vs school. We’ve made our decision and we’re comfortable with it. I just find the contradiction so confusing and a bit hurtful. These are people who in some cases we’ve know for years, know how seriously we take our child’s wellbeing, and have spent years telling us the system is broken. I want to say firmly we’ve made a decision and we don’t want to hear anything else about it, but I also don’t want to lose long standing friends over it.

I could cry right now.

I understand banning thin strapped vests but surely thick straps are fine? She’s also banned all shorts (including knee length) and skirts that sit at the knee. Basically we have to go down to ankle length trousers.

AIBU to genuinely consider quitting my job? Her office is air conditioned but we’re in a horrible hot sun trap!

I’m looking for some closed toe sandals for work with a low heel (not flat) and wondered if anyone had seen any nice ones please? We aren’t allowed open toe styles.

They do need to have some arch support as I have PF and flat feet. I usually wear FitFlops but they are getting quite pricey so I’m looking for some brands that I haven’t seen before.

Budget up to about £80.

I don’t like M&S shoes as they are not supportive at all for my feet.

Probably an odd question
But just out of curiosity
How many of you get changed when you get home ,and just wear ,old or to big , clothes round the house?
Assuming you have bought yourself some nice summer clothes,do you wear them all day ,even to clean and cook in ?
Or do you get changed to scruffs when you get in ..
I get changed in to clothes that are 3 sizes to big ,and then wonder why I don't want to go back out again..but we have dogs ...And dog hair sticks to black badly .
Contemplating throwing out all my old to big clothes and just wearing the ones that fit all day ,with no change

I’m on a new build estate, so lots of people living around me. I need to cut the grass tomorrow but want to do it as early as possible to avoid the heat - health conditions make it too difficult once it warms up. Obviously I don’t want to be a dick though 🤦‍♀️

What’s the consensus? 9am???

Just for fun so no sarcasm or nastiness please .
My friend and I went to see a West End musical this week . I was really looking forward to it . Great reviews . Celebrity cameos . Camp and fun . Seemed right up our street .
We both hated it . We were turning to each other with puzzled looks and raised eyebrows (we've known each other forever and have very similar tastes so no words needed) .
The audience seemed off their tits to be honest . Screeching at every unsubtle innuendo . Shouting responses to the actors . It was like a really bad hen do .
We left at the interval .
My point is that everyone else seemed to be having a great time . The staff who opened the doors to allow us to leave at the interval were incredulous . I quote : "Are you not enjoying it ?!"
Well no , we weren't . We thought it was shit .
This is a show that is up for lots of awards and has had so many positive reviews .
Have you ever hated something that everyone else seemed to love ?

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. A friend of mine is also pregnant shes two months behind me but this is her second child.

We’ve been friends for around 10 years, but we haven’t actually been particularly close for quite a while. We haven’t hung out in around 2 years and I hadn’t seen her in about a year before my pregnancy. We stayed in touch but it wasn’t a very involved friendship.

Since finding out I’m pregnant, she’s become very invested. She talks about “doing motherhood together”, has spoken about coming round when my partner is at work, talks about our babies growing up together, and seemed very invested in my baby shower. She was originally only asked to help host some games but was messaging my cousin separately about shower plans and seemed to want a bigger role than I’d actually asked her to have.

She’s also approached another friend of mine (who she only knows through me) asking if she was coming to my baby shower.

A couple of people around me have said they think she’s just excited, but they’ve also admitted the level of excitement seems quite intense.

Part of my discomfort is that this same friend has asked me for favours, childcare and money on and off over the years. The last time she asked me for money was during my pregnancy, which I found quite uncomfortable.

I don’t dislike her and I’m not saying we can’t be friends. What I’m struggling with is that I feel like she’s built up an idea of what our friendship and motherhood journey will look like, and it doesn’t match what I want.

I’m excited to become a mum, but my focus is very much on my partner, our baby and our families. I don’t really want a daily-contact, shared-childcare, “we’re doing motherhood together” type friendship.

Because this is my first baby and I only have a few weeks left, I sometimes feel like I’ve spent a lot of my pregnancy managing someone else’s expectations and excitement rather than just enjoying it myself.

Am I being unreasonable, or would others find this level of involvement a bit much?

I’d love some help please.

I need to find a dress but ideally a gown to wear to a black tie ball at the end of June. I need to be able to dance in it.

I’m 5 foot 3 and a hourglass size 12 but on my way to size 10 thanks to weight loss injections. I’m a jewel winter with pale skin, hazel eyes and dark brown hair. I don’t suit high necklines.

Budget up to £500 - I really want to look good!

I found two gorgeous gowns on the outnet from Marchesa Notte but one is navy which is a colour I don’t think would suit even though I love the style.

the other I love the look of but I’m not sure of the colours in the floral details.

all suggestions gratefully received

Me and my DH get on pretty well most of the time. But I think he’s jealous of my relationship with my adult kids! I hardly see them too. One is 40 miles away and the other lives in Australia.

Two months ago, we hired a van and moved my son into a new apartment. My husband was the only person who could drive the van. He had a long face the whole day and made us feel very indebted to him for driving. Why can’t he do it with a good heart?

My daughter is back from Australia right now, only for four days for a wedding, and we are meeting for breakfast on Monday. I offered to drive them to the airport after breakfast, as it is en route to our way home. The only way that we could do this is to take 2 Cars. Well, my husband has hit the roof! Telling me that I’m a joke and unreasonable . I don’t even really know why he is angry.

I’m just so exhausted with the competition. We don’t have sex anymore (his decision). It’s so sad because I am in love with him, but this is such a turn off that part of me just wants him to leave. He has stormed off to bed and I’m feeling so lost.

You might be able to tell that I'm not used to issues around weight as I've only gained in the last 3 years thanks to peri. Before that I was thin/underweight.

Someone bought me a summer dress as a gift. I really like it but it's tight fitting and makes my stomach stick out. I look about 5 or 6 months pregnant.

My question is...would you care? Would you still wear it? Or is wearing something that makes your stomach look big just not the done thing? I'd like to wear it but I feel so self conscious. Trying to gauge opinions. I have a feeling most people wouldn't wear something that draws attention to their stomach.

As an aside, I'm working on counting calories and trying to lose weight.

I’m on the lookout for a comfy bra. I’m fed up with the underwire cutting into me especially in this warm weather. Has anyone tried gel bras? Are they any good? Or does anyone else have any recommendations? Ideally I’d want something that has a clasp at the back. Thank you.

I have to be sedated for some dental work I have coming up. I like and trust my dentist. But I just feel very vulnerable as a woman being in that position. So I requested my husband be with me when I’m out of it. Just for peace of mind. The dentist definitely gave off the vibe that what I was asking was odd. I didn’t go into the why. I was told it was not possible

was it that weird to ask? I do err on the side of caution. I watch too much true crime probably. When we had IVF I asked that my husband stayed with his sample. I was paranoid that his sample would be swapped. This was definitely a direct result of watching the doc where the dr used his own. And to be fair the clinic allowed it.

But anyway. I think if a woman feels vulnerable (given the level of abuse women encounter) then I should be able to request safeguards

Name change as outing info before.
I had an emergency c section 3 weeks ago. Baby was 3 weeks early but fine. My DH has gone for the weekend to his parents for a large family celebration. I haven’t gone because I’m still really sore. I had the c section done with general anaesthetic as it was a real emergency they didn’t have time to do a epidural. I said to DH about him not going because I could do with help with the baby. I’m on my own and don’t have my own parents. His mum got upset so he’s gone there to the weekend party.
Now I’ve found out from a message from someone in his family who said to watch my back as my mil is implying that I can’t cope with the baby because I asked him to stay and he should look at leaving me and applying for custody.

I can cope with the baby, I was only asking him to stay because I really am sore and with having to do everything myself until Monday it feels a lot. I don’t know if I’m just hormonal or this isn’t fair. I didn’t think it was unreasonable to ask him to stay but was it?

Help, I’m in hell. I’m in London to watch the Arsenal game later (have tickets to watch at a fan zone) and the parade tomorrow. Staying in a twin Travelodge room with no air con and which currently feels like the ninth circle of hell but even that cost £256 for two nights!

I’m here with a male friend who’s more like a brother, we’ve known each other forever. A few years ago he developed a secret cocaine habit and ended up spending the last three years in a psychiatric hospital. He’s out now and in supported accommodation but other than reminding him about his meds I thought he seemed ok and pretty self sufficient.

Well he’s pissed me off from the start. Telling a guy on the train how he does literally nothing for himself, nothing all day (not sure that’s a boast although since I worked 70 hours last week I’m pretty jealous tbh). Then showed me £7k of benefits he’s saved up!

He then drank far too much even though he’s not supposed to, wouldn’t come back to the hotel with me, and ended up eating a bucket of fried chicken in the early hours. I’ve tried to sleep given he snores like a walrus but given up, I’m getting up and out and he can do his own thing.

He was in the bathroom a lot last night, and I’ve come in to have a shower and THERE IS LITERAL SHIT ON THE WALL. I am disgusted and tbh I don’t think I can be friends with someone who behaves like this. However I need to get through the next 24 hours! Do I book a hotel of my own somewhere else? I really can’t afford to but I feel sick staying here! Most places are also fully booked around where we need to be…

So, I’ve received a brochure in the post and there looks to be some nice linen stuff for summer. Has anyone ordered recently and what did you think about quality and fabrics as it’s been a while since `I had anything from them.

Most of my Summer clothes no longer fit and I desperately need a couple of cool, floaty dresses and some shorts that are not too short.

What have you all bought recently that you’ve loved?

I really need some inspiration.

When Dd was smaller and I was fortunate enough to be with her until school at 5. I just loved the life so much, all the friends meet ups, the days out, the baking and crafts at home, the little shows and sitting cuddled up.
She’s now 7, i’m back at work, life doesn’t have anywhere near the same fulfilment or happiness

Was that the best it could get, I got five years of my perfect life, god I miss it so much

If I could have taken your cancer, I would.
I would have inhaled it from your lungs into mine,
stored it inside my ribcage,
nestled it next to my fracturing heart.

But cancer is deaf to love's pleading.
Cancer makes no deals.

The vet's needle gave the coup de grâce.
Your heart stopped as I held you.
My heart crumbled into dust.