I’m 38 and don’t know what’s cool and what’s not.
Are these cool?

https://www.toa.st/products/vibae-leather-fisherman-buckle-sandals-tan?variant=63328347062621&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=18437612051&dema_id=18437612051&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18431488314&gclid=CjwKCAjw2rrQBhBuEiwAarLWHWRecndS3uU_tULTAnudbwTzgOBHxmtjuE4OJDxrIyHv-PTgGDQ2XRoCOPcQAvD_BwE

or

https://mamaowl.net/collections/adult-shoes/products/angulus-womens-fisherman-sandal-tan

I really badly upset dh by accident yesterday and I feel awful but I think his reaction is really over the top? I have ADHD and I really often just blurt things out without even thinking he knows this and it’s how I’ve always been. I totally get that I should have stopped to think but my brain doesn’t work that way.

His mum has been really unwell in and out of hospital for months and currently in HDU very unwell. Her name is Judith.

I was on the phone to my sister yesterday and chatting and had a notification through about Judith chalmers dying. We used to watch the holiday programme as kids and I just blurted out to her ‘oh! Judith’s dead ! I’ve just seen on my phone ‘ to which dh jumped up and went white saying ‘what???’ And I said no no not your mum and apologised as he looked petrified and I felt awful. He went absolutely mad saying I don’t think before I speak and how he’s had enough of me doing things like this.?
He went out and hasn’t come back. He’s staying with his brother as he text me that he needs space and he’s still angry with me?

It was a complete mistake and I know emotions are running high and I feel terrible but I think he’s blown it all out of proportion or do I need to beg and grovel for forgiveness?

Partner has three kids aged between 14-11, and we have one aged 3 together. We have them most weekends and almost all of their school holidays, which works out to 3 nights a week on average. This is what their mum wants before anyone says “she does all the grunt work.” It used to be less but has gradually increased over the years, and their behaviour has significantly worsened.

They are individually pleasant kids, but collectively constantly fighting (both physical and verbal), very, very messy and unclean, and have no interests outside of TV/gaming, despite serious efforts. I just can’t take it anymore. I love DP but I feel like I’m wasting my life and my child’s childhood. I am an introvert and feel like I’m surrounded by absolute chaos when they’re here, and barely have time to recharge before they’re back.

AIBU to move out?

I don't really want one of those teeny tiny phone bags but I also don't want a tote

Tbh I resent needing bags at all

What do men carry their stuff in when it's too hot for a coat actually?

Ok my AIBU is am i unreasonable to react like this? What is wrong with me?

Is anybody else like this?

In day to day life I wouldnt say i'm anymore emotional than the average person, but in certain situations I get this ridiculous over emotion that floods me and results in me starting to cry and have to bite my lip to try and stop myself making a scene. It feels incontrollable at times and I dont remember always being like this.

The situations -

weddings and funerals starting - maybe not as unusual but it happens even if i barely know the person / people

Any kind of show - theatre, cinema, gig, kids nativity, especially if there is singing and music but there doesnt have to be

Every year when the year 6s leave at my kids school, even if i dont know any of them. Also school sports day even when my kids aren't participating in the race.

I cant sing along to the radio in the car without getting choked up and starting to cry. It doesnt matter what the song is / is about

Watching a parade at the weekend, had to hold back the tears - no idea why

When ambulances drive past, not every time, but around 70% of the time.

I don't know what comes over me and why, just a complete flooding of emotion. Why am i like this? It can be very embarrassing

Has anyone seen this story? Sorry, struggling to link it.
A french mother and stepfather in Portugal abandoned their/her 3 year old and 5 year old in the woods.
Apparently they blindfolded them and told them they were playing a treasure hunt game and to wait, then take the blindfold off when they’d hidden the toy/prize.
They then left them there 😢
The boys were found on the side of the road by a lovely Portuguese man, who cried during his interview when talking about the boys. They were crying for their real dad apparently
The real dad, resident in France, had informed the authorities that the boys had been kidnapped by the mother (who has custody of them) and taken out of the country. She also left her other 16 year old son at home in France.
The couple were apparently found two hours away sitting on a terrace having a coffee and pastry.
The boys had little backpacks on with a bottle of water, change of clothes, sandwich and piece of fruit in.

There are no words, those poor poor boys
What on earth could make a mother do this?

I went to a bbq with my 2 month old and some people were smoking near to us. I moved away from them, but could still smell the smoke so decided to leave, but not until we’d been there for the best part of an hour (albeit in the open air and they were not smoking the whole time). I’m a very anxious ftm, and as soon as we left I panic googled the effects of second hand smoke and have really scared myself- specifically about the link to SIDS. I really don’t know why I didn’t leave earlier, I guess I was just enjoying being around people for the first time in ages and didn’t really think about quite how harmful smoke could be for tiny ones. Needless to say, I feel awful and won’t make this mistake again, but does anyone have any info about the potential harm of a one-off exposure such as this? Thank you.

Genuinely interested to see peoples opinions on this one....

I am the higher earner and unfortunately feel stuck in a bit of an expectation that if we go anywhere, I pay.
We recently went on holiday (myself, my OH and my 7 year old DD) and our direct flights out there were cancelled the night before and we were rebooked onto a new flight that involved a stop in the middle. Our connecting flight was substantially delayed but we got there eventually and ended up having an amazing time.

I paid for the flights, hire car, accommodation, all food and souvenirs etc. OH didn't even pay for a coffee.

I looked into getting compensation for the delay/cancellation and we were told that we were entitled to it but that I had to issue all the passengers bank details. We have since been paid some compensation, mine and our daughters came to me and my OH's went straight to his bank.

My thoughts were that as I paid for everything, that I should have the compensation which would go towards our next outing. My OH says that the compensation is for the annoyance factor of having to wait around and therefore he is entitled to his money and was therefore going to use it on sorting his car out.

What are your thoughts?

Any tiny little habits that make you feel a bit more “put together”?

For example, in a restaurant I’ll just say “I’ll get the salmon” instead of reading out the whole dish name exactly as it’s written on the menu (“salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables”).

It’s such a ridiculously small thing but it makes me feel smoother 😎😂

What else?

I was never an anxious parent. But now I think a combination of menopausal anxiety and no control over what they do, I worry constantly and think the worst possible outcomes. Both are lovely capable mostly responsible girls.
DD1 is 24 and travelling. I worry about her constantly. Haven't heard from her for 12hrs/she hasn't posted on SoMe and my brain worm is thinking all sorts. She's 6hrs ahead so is obviously asleep.
DD2 is 18 and out for a friend's birthday. Now in the pub and am having to sit on my hands not to message her.
This is never going to stop is it ?

Do you ever do this?! I usually feel too awkward to do this and don’t want to accidentally offend someone somehow, so mostly just keep the thought in my head, which seems a shame really. But occasionally I’ve given a random stranger a compliment and it’s brightened my day as well as theirs. The best time ever was admiring a woman’s incredible jacket while waiting to pay for a car parking session. She was so delighted - it turned out she’d made it herself and it was her first time wearing it.

Once or twice it has happened to me and it really has made my day.

So my question is - do you do this or has it ever happened to you? Should we do it more?!

Anyone seen any nice summer dresses for Apple shapes? I’m late 40s, size 12 to 14, menopausal weight gain not doing wonders for my roundness if km honest!

I always have this problem with finding summer dresses, but this year I want to get in early!

I am going on holiday in a few weeks and would really like a nice beach bag / tote bag. Previously I've always just used an old canvas rucksack but I'm looking for something summery that I can sling over my shoulder and head to the beach or pool with.

The only problem is every single one I've seen in person has either an open top or a button closure at the top. I'd really like it to zip up for security reasons and so I'm not worried my phone will fall out of it if I'm in the pool and it's slung on a chair.

Has anyone seen any nice ones? I'll probably only use it on holiday so I'm not looking to spend loads.... maybe up to £50 or so.

Driving like idiots
neighbours blasting loud music in their garden I can hear it in my house with doors and windows closed
smell weed everywhere
a lot of drunk anti social behaviour

yes I get some of this happens in normal weather but why does the hot weather cause it to surge or skyrocket?

Hi!

Is sezane worth the money?!

I am size 10 - inverted triangle shape with boobs if that makes any difference.

For garden party type event how would people style this dress?!

https://www.sezane.com/en-en/product/fitia-dress/estate-print?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GB+-+Achat+-+Purchase+-+DPA+-+Fil+Rouge+-+Septembre+-+2025+-+Pixel&utm_content=GB+-+Pixel+-+RTG+-+Initiate+Checkout%2FAdd+to+Cart%2FView+Content+%2830+jours%29+-+Carrousel+-+Anglais&Audience=retargeting&utm_id=120236247129550387_v2_s02_e470_i20260520&utm_term=120236247129550387&media_type=image&fbclid=IwY2xjawR6QahleHRuA2FlbQEwAGFkaWQBqzUOau9tY3NydGMGYXBwX2lkEDIyMjAzOTE3ODgyMDA4OTIAAR4iFxJSC1qd4zkNqZwtapuFkITsU1NWxqK4x3Jx2P5XMy7FeZXSkmlHZ4csuw_aem_mrM1Ttawi__KkzKRCf6YqQ#size-10

TIA!

I think this probably gets asked every summer but does anyone have any recommendations for a good pair of sandals for lots of walking . I'm tempted to buy an actual pair of hiking/action ones and just accept that they will be ugly. I keep seeing these Fitflop ones advertised and wonder about them

https://www.fitflop.com/uk/en/shop/f-mode-go-leopard-adjustable-webbing-z-strap-sandals-p-E1P#D20

I do have a pair of Fitflop trainers and sandals for work that I find comfortable for all day general wear so maybe that is the way to go but they are just SO utilitarian.

Have I missed a pair out there that are genuinely good for all day walking but do actually look at least quite nice?

I know there is a sex topic but I have it blocked because the only time I posted there I had weird DMs for weeks and the answers were mostly from men :/

But I am looking to find my libido a little but do not want to 'watch' anything, I do not like that.

I would like to read something, on my phone or tablet but again, when I have googled in the past I have gotten weird things and just some disturbing stuff and ended up giving up.

I would just like some normal heterosexual erotica without werewolves or being chained up and whipped 🤣

I am a step-mum to two girls who moved in with my husband and me full-time 2 years ago after a 50/50 custody arrangement with their biological mother fell through. On the whole things have been fine as its no different to the 50/50 arrangement in that they have all their belongings here and their own individual bedrooms. I let my husband take the lead on discipline as I do not feel that is my place, but the only flaw is the bedtime arrangement
The eldest is 17 so I understand "bedtime" doesn't have to be enforced as such, but my husband and I get no alone tme whatsoever. She will stay up until we go to bed and then immediately retreat to bed herself when we do. Is it unreasonable for us to ask her to go to bed 30 minutes before we do purely for our own space so that we can catch up and reflect on our day without a teen listening in? We are not asking for them both to disappear for an extended time, just a 30 minute window at the end of the day to debrief.

My friend told me recently that she uploads photos of outfits & chatgpt gives an analysis.

I tried it & it was surprisingly good.

Does anyone here use it regularly for this?

At home I have 5-6 different teas - mostly herbal and not in individual packets just boxes. I travel with work and nothing I’ve tried is right to keep the different flavours separate without using loads of massive ziplock bags for 3/4 tea bags in each one which feels like a waste. They all look the same so it’s hard to tell the difference once they’re out of their boxes.

I’ve tried old school cash bags but they’re too small. I’ve tried dinner money envelopes but they’re too small.

There must be something out there - that’s likely designed for a completely different purpose - but that’s sectioned or segmented in some way to fit 3-4 different teas in….

Any inspired ideas??!

I can hear my neighbours obviously shagging (this weather is obviously making everyone horny). Should I knock on the door and tell them because they are honestly being so loud and disrespectful.

Around £540.
After all bills paid.. this has to last next week (half term) and then another just under 2 weeks after that. Also to include food for 1 child + 1 adult. And a small amount of petrol.

Some of you will be holidaying with children near water and if so I'd urge you to read (or re-read) this article so that you can be aware of what to look out for in case someone gets into difficulty.

"Drowning doesn't look like drowning" article
In 10 percent of drownings, adults are nearby but have no idea the victim is dying. Here’s what to look for.

Films and television have taught us that drowning is a loud, shouting, 'help, help' kind of thing but unfortunately real drowning is often very quiet and calm (the person is likely unable to speak or communicate / respond to 'are you ok?' let alone splash). I was astounded when I read this article a few years ago - I had no idea it was mostly like that.

Be like the meerkats and if possible have a lookout on land (as you'll see from the article, being in the water isn't always a guarantee someone will spot it).

See also the 'Float to live' guidance from the RNLI Lifeboats.

1. Tilt your head back (ears in the water)
2. Relax and breathe normally.
3. Move your hands and legs to help you float.
4. It’s OK if your legs sink (we all float differently).
5. Practise floating in a supervised pool before you go on holiday.

Drowning Prevention Week (a campaign from the Royal Life Saving Society UK) is happening from 13-20 June 2026, with resources for families and schools.

Jo

Basically I don't really get on with my neighbour. We haven't fallen out as per se but I just don't like her and keep her at arms length.

Shes very nosey, intrusive, talks about herself all the time (and other neighbours) and just isn't really my kind of person (I get on very well with my other neighbour) we say hello and that's it now as I think she got the hint that I didn't want to engage with her past hello.

Anyway we both have two allocated parking spaces each.
She had her some cleaning company come and park in my parking space.
She had parked her car in the middle of her parking space for some reason and she must of known the cleaning company was coming and could of moved her car to not inconvenience us.

They were only parked 30 minutes or so but she could of at least moved her car or asked.

I AM grateful MIL had her and she had a nice time.

HOWEVER, she's been at MIL's all day, playing in the paddling pool with her cousins and she's come home with sunburn all over her shoulders, neck, top of her legs, and all down her back and is in pain.

I put suncream on her before she went there, and when we dropped her off, I told MIL there was a bottle in her bag and MIL said don't worry, I've got loads here.

But she obviously hasn't topped it back up and DD is burnt.

All I want to do is WhatsApp her a picture and say thank you so much, she had a great time but a reminder that she must wear suncream when she's out in the sun and in a swimming costume.

DH says no, it will just make her feel bad and make us seem ungrateful and what's done is done now, we'll make sure we remind her more frequently next time.

I think a picture now will have more of an effect and she will remember next time because she obviously didn't listen to my reminder this time.