Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I feel like such a... perv!

(214 Posts)
GoldieMumbles Sun 21-Apr-13 15:11:51

blush I've just ordered myself a blush

chastity belt

DH often goes away for work for a couple of days at a time - sometimes more - and I really get turned on by the idea of being strapped in... so I've ordered a chastity belt and next time he's away I'm going to ask him to lock me into it... So I feel like such a perv. But I suppose I am... blushblushblush aren't I?

And he doesn't know about it yet, either. Yikes!

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 15:15:22

That's nice, dear

Ok, how will you wash your fanny? Won't you hum a bit by the time he returns, or is that the idea?

Coffee1Sugar Sun 21-Apr-13 15:23:02

Excellent...

GilmoursPillow Sun 21-Apr-13 15:26:40

Link?

I have it in my head it will be one of these bleurgh

BOF Sun 21-Apr-13 15:29:16

Ah, Sunday afternoon, a roast cooking, a lovely feel-good movie, and now a thread about some strange woman's sexual kinks and speculation about her unwashed fanny to get stuck into. How nice.

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 15:30:36

It's her lucky, lucky husband who is going to "get stuck into it"

BIWI Sun 21-Apr-13 15:30:39

Bleurgh. Thank you for sharing that with us.
Why on earth people here want to share the seedy details of their sex lives I never know.

YoniMatopoeia Sun 21-Apr-13 15:31:08

Are you in hull?

dondon33 Sun 21-Apr-13 15:31:39

Eurgh!!
I 'get' the idea for a few hours maybe, but a few days shock seriously?

No way I'd risk the health of my foof by keeping it locked up for days, maybe you should have some canestan combi on standby.

Erm - good luck with it all.

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 15:31:43

Ah, BIWI, I oftentimes think it is the ones not getting any that feel the need to wax lyrical about kinky they are...

AnyFucker Sun 21-Apr-13 15:32:59

14yo boys, smelly middle aged men, hairy-handed individuals of either gender, "creative" writers....

BIWI Sun 21-Apr-13 15:33:57

<taps side of nose>

HolyFocaccia Sun 21-Apr-13 15:38:26

erm...ok love whatever floats your boat.

You wouldn't be able to wash and no man whats a mouldy taco

Well if it looks like a perv, talks like a perv and, erm, walks like a perv in a chastity belt...

Sunnywithshowers Sun 21-Apr-13 15:39:53

hmm

HolyFocaccia Sun 21-Apr-13 15:39:58

<boak>

StuffezLaYoni Sun 21-Apr-13 15:42:04

Dear god

mejon Sun 21-Apr-13 15:48:27

Are you in Hull? grin

LoserNoMore Sun 21-Apr-13 15:59:16

Ah, Sunday afternoon, a roast cooking, a lovely feel-good movie, and now a thread about some strange woman's sexual kinks and speculation about her unwashed fanny to get stuck into. How nice.

grin

VitoCorleone Sun 21-Apr-13 16:01:28

How long is he away for?!

GoldieMumbles Sun 21-Apr-13 16:01:38

Hull? Wassat got to do with it? No, I'm not - but is that something naive? Don't think I'll be trying it for days at a time first off... I'll have to start slowly. Sorry to those of you who feel nauseated - but nobody forced you to reply...

Coconutty Sun 21-Apr-13 16:07:50

Cool. AIBU to hope it goes rusty and that we then see you on a thread saying you're at A&E?

Coffee1Sugar Sun 21-Apr-13 16:08:27

Why the hell did you start a thread to announce this to everyone?!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now