Yep, it's another wedding-related one. Sorry.
Next weekend DH and I are going to an old friend's wedding, some five hours' drive from home. We are looking forward to it very much - it's in a beautiful part of the UK and it will also be the first time we've left DS for two nights in a row (lie ins! Boozy nights! Time in the spa! Bliss).
However. I'm in a bit of a tizz about a wedding gift, as we simply can't afford it on top of everything else.
We have very little money and will be spending an awful lot of cash we don't have on getting to this wedding and staying in a fancy hotel for two nights. This £300 or so on petrol and accommodation - plus, presumably, drinks and meals on top over the weekend - is cash we shouldn't really be spending.
While we are not utterly skint, as we have food in the fridge and petrol in the car, we have nothing left over each month. We will not, for example, be going on holiday this year. We also won't be doing birthday/ Christmas presents for each other, as we didn't last year, as we can't afford it. We have no savings, don't eat out and spend the last week of each month existing on beans or eggs on toast - but I accept we are in a much better financial situation than some.
To afford this wedding, therefore, I have set a little aside each month since we got the Save the Date.
Now, looking at the invitation this morning, it's one of those "your presence is more important to us than your presents - however if you do want to give us a gift can it be cash please." Well, words to that effect, didn't want to quote verbatim.
We can't afford to give a decent sum of cash (say £30) in the card. Not after spending so much on getting there. And I wonder if I put, say £10, in, it would look more stingy than giving them nothing at all.
If there wasn't the instruction to give cash then I would probably buy them a nice plant, some interesting second-hand books, or similar. But now I worry that this would again look stingy.
On the invitation it says all this about "presence" being more important than "presents" - but AIBU to wonder if couples who put this on invitations actually mean it?
When DH and I got married we didn't mention gifts on the invitations as we didn't want guests to feel like they should buy something. The mention of gifts makes me think that they do expect something, that that something is cash, and that we will look very tight indeed if we don't cough up.
Help please!
(Sorry for length, didn't want to drip feed...)
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AIBU?
To wonder if a couple that say "your presence is more important to us than your presents" actually mean it?lly ll
214 replies
GrumpyInYorkshire · 16/02/2014 11:31
OP posts:
Sparkle9 ·
16/02/2014 11:37
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