Finally got the answer about lack of sex and sobbing

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

I will first say our sex life isn't normal it mostly bondage and submission.

We have been together 11 years and married 5.

Finally after a lot of text exchange I have my answer. He is no longer into being a dominant.

I can't see how our relationship is going to work as from the start this has been the foundation.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

Packing everything tonight was hard.

[AnyFucker]

what about your holiday to Florida ?

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

I really don't know AnyFucker.

This has hurt me to the core.

[flanjabelle]

Oh piper, I'm so sorry. I'm angry on your behalf that it took this long to come out. You poor thing. :(

[RJnomore1]

Crikey packing everything as in leaving!

[ALaughAMinute]

Is this for real?

[cakedup]

I'm obviously missing something. You no longer want to be with him because he doesn't want to continue the role he has playing during sex?

[Bluebird79]

Somethings are more important than sex. Don't just leave!

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

My head is all over the place.

Packed the toys not my things.

[Daryan]

Is this some sort of amusing based-off-the-telly thread?

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

Sadly no.

[TeaT1me]

But surely your foundation in a bdsm relationship has been honesty and trust and that can still be there and worked on even if it's a "dry" period serially. It's only Ben a few weeks hasn't it in 11years. Can't you work through it?

Id life in general more stressful for you both? We've a similar set up but we have dips when my husband is overworked or overloaded at home.

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

So he's changed his mind.... So find another way. Do something else like other people do when things go a bit stale

[TeaT1me]

Sorry for the typos.

[Piratespoo]

Wow...is sex so important? Is it the only thing wrong in the relationship? Surely there must be more for you to consider throwing a marriage away because of this?

[RJnomore1]

Oh I thought you were leaving!

[Ginkypig]

It's a difficult one as they are very important clearly defined roles in a relationship normally, unless you are a switch?

I think it very much depends on if these roles are strictly for bedroom only.

You need to have a calm discussion with your partner.

I know your hurt at the moment but try not to show that as it will put the whole discussion on the defensive.

Is there the option to have the needs met in other ways?

Also you might get more knowledgeable advice on another forum, specifically the love honey website (sorry if that's not allowed everyone!)

[AlwaysHopeful1]

If you are this devastated over a change in your sex life then it doesn't seem you have a good foundation anyway. So what if he decides he wants to change? Your reaction. Seems a tad dramatic.

[ALaughAMinute]

BDSM isn't much of a foundation for marriage is it?

I think you are doing the right thing in leaving.

I wouldn't be able to get out there fast enough!

[WhimsicalWinnifred]

You'll find something else you both enjoy. Relationships evolve. I hope it all works out

[Valentine2]

Is there more to it? Does he actively want role reversal? Do you suspect other things you don't like?

[notapizzaeater]

Can you not sit and talk and find another role,play you both like ?

[Towardsthesun]

Why is he sobbing?

[ssd]

jesus wept