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My 58 year old mother is pregnant by her husband that is younger than her children!!!!

(201 Posts)
freakedthefckout Sun 03-Aug-14 01:25:49

So my mum is 58, her husband is 34, they got married last year after they had broke up because he wanted children, now they are married and today they told me she is pregnant.

My mum had a son when she was 16, kept him until he was 5 years old and then gave him away apprantley because my dad wasn't very nice to him (my dad is not her sons dad) and my mum already had my older sister(with m y dad) and kept her.

When my younger brother was a teenager my mum and dad broke up and as my brother was a naughty teenager she decided it would be better for my brother to stay with my dad. There was alot of issues and family dramas which resulted in my mum and my little brother not speaking from when he was 14 to now he is 23.

So basically she felt at the time it was easier for my teenage brother not to be around so she could be with her new young partner that is 24 years younger than her, she has two children older than him.

Anyway she has been with this same young guy for about 9 years and they got marrried last year and now she is pregnant.

WTF I cannot get my head around it, my dd is very close with my mum and we spend alot of time with her. They have a very string bond and as I am a single parent my mum helps out alot.

Anyway I think its very weird that a 58 year old woman would have a child. she basically gave up two children beacuse of the men she was with at the time and now she is having a baby at such a late age in desperation to keep a man.

Also she is not a fit and healthy 58 year old, she has angina and high cholesterol and a thryoid problem. Why on eath do they both think its a good idea to put her body through this at this time in her life?

I know its their decision etc and not really my business, but when they told me i got very angry and quite frankly lost it. I just think they are weird and out of order. It is also unfair to this baby to have such and old mum, when this kid is 10 its mum will be not far off 70!!!! How is that fair?

I just needed to get it off my chest, I'm really not sure if I can be around them anymore I think they are too weird and too selfish.

Walkacrossthesand Sun 03-Aug-14 01:38:55

If your 58 year old mum is indeed pregnant, it won't have happened without a great deal of medical assistance not available AFAIK in this country - there are clinics in Italy & Cyprus I believe, that will engineer a conception in post-menopausal women, but it doesn't come cheap. Your mum obviously really wanted this to happen.

Lally112 Sun 03-Aug-14 02:12:43

Apart from whats already been said, your mother doesn't seen to have the absolute best record at raising children does she? I'm not judging her with the age because I too had my eldest at 17 but from what I gather, aside from the obvious age issue of her being 60 and dealing with terrible two's and tantrums, she has two sons with whom she has no contact and I am assuming (maybe wrongly) that you and her don't have the closest most stable relationship either?

What is the contingency plan for this child? If she cant cope with this one will he be given up or go to his father or go into care? Not really being helpful to you OP but I can see the boat you have found yourself in and I understand why you are indeed freaked the fuck out.

Selks Sun 03-Aug-14 02:21:35

Has she had IVF? Wouldn't have thought it was possible otherwise. I can understand you feeling thoroughly disconcerted, OP.

MorphineDreams Sun 03-Aug-14 02:35:21

I can't help but think that your mum may be telling tales.

QueenBean Sun 03-Aug-14 02:40:27

Would Jeremy Kyle help you all figure this out?

GarlicAugustus Sun 03-Aug-14 03:01:41

It's not actually impossible. Unusual, but possible. However, in this case I suspect your mother is not pregnant.

sykadelic Sun 03-Aug-14 04:55:45

My father was in his 60's and my mother in her 20's when myself and my siblings were conceived. My mother is younger than his other children and dad was older than her parents.

They were married over 30 years before he passed on. Age is just a number.

Her track record however is the big deal here.

Beehatch Sun 03-Aug-14 05:55:48

If she is actually pregnant then it is unlikely she has got so naturally, see wiki for example. It would pretty much put her in the record books.

Floop Sun 03-Aug-14 06:10:19

I'm not sure I believe this. hmm

poorincashrichinlove Sun 03-Aug-14 06:19:11

Really?

aurynne Sun 03-Aug-14 06:19:24

Erm... no, she is not pregnant. It is not technically impossible, but it would take much longer than the year your story implies they were together before it happened. And a hell of a lot of money that I suspect your mum and her husband do not have.

ArtVandelay Sun 03-Aug-14 07:10:43

Goodness, what a lot going on - i can see why you are upset. I think the first thing to sort out is the (unlikely) pregnancy. Has your mum had it confirmed by the doctor? Is she showing? Or is it just that her periods have stopped? Is it maybe wishful thinking on her part?

Secondly, i think you might benefit from some counselling for yourself and also maybe your brothers to deal with the pain and rejection you are all feeling due to her treatment of you all and her prioritising of boyfriends over DCs.

I hope you start to feel better soon, it does sound very stressful.

FabULouse Sun 03-Aug-14 07:13:17

Pregnant with angina? That will end well

nooka Sun 03-Aug-14 07:40:51

My previous next door neighbour had a baby at 56 about ten years ago. No intervention, and they were very surprised. Her husband was I think 20 years younger. It wasn't good for her health at all, and she suffered from breast cancer shortly after the pregnancy. On the plus side having a much younger dad gave her little boy one 'normal' aged parent, and it's not that unusual to have a much older parent, it's just that it's generally the father that's the older one.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 03-Aug-14 07:51:03

How has she managed to get pregnant then?
If it's true, it's terribly sad and will probably lead to another child being fucked over, especially if it's a boy. Let's hope the younger partner is a good father.

Mumof3xox Sun 03-Aug-14 07:53:29

Goodness me I think I would go into shock

happystory Sun 03-Aug-14 07:56:43

I wonder if she has actually done a pregnancy test, because is more likely if she has missed periods, that it's the menopause. I wonder too if there are problems in the marriage and she is saying this to hold on to him?

firesidechat Sun 03-Aug-14 08:06:19

Well at 58 it's not a natural pregnancy is it?

I can't think that any clinic, even a dodgy foreign one, would do ivf on someone with health issues, especially angina.

That's all I'm saying.

confused

SanityClause Sun 03-Aug-14 08:07:11

Is this anything to do with the article in today's Telegraph about the woman who conceived naturally at 59? (The child was born 10 years ago, BTW, but the family didn't choose to publicise it, at the time.)

So it can happen. The timing of this thread seems a bit coincidental, though.

If events have happened like you have said, I am not at all surprised that you would be angry with your mother. Not for being pregnant, but for apparently being so quick to give up children for the sake of new partners. I would take a step back from your mother, and perhaps start to limit the amount your DD sees her. You more sounds a bit fickle and unreliable, and your DD could be badly hurt by her.

GothMummy Sun 03-Aug-14 08:09:29

I think that she is likely not to be pregnant at all, could she be in denial about the menopause?

AMillionNameChangesLater Sun 03-Aug-14 08:11:03

I can't think of anything helpful to write, tbh, but wanted to say I was here if you needed to talk.

If she is pregnant, her existing health problems mean she will need a lot of support. Did she talk to you about it? How far along is she?

ElPolloDiabolo Sun 03-Aug-14 08:18:41

Does your mother have form for tall tales?

firesidechat Sun 03-Aug-14 08:19:27

I am 50, and after googling older pregnancies I am not coming off the pill, ever. shock

lettertoherms Sun 03-Aug-14 08:23:37

I hope she sees a doctor sharpish if she is or suspects she is pregnant.

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