Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

New man. Personal grooming question.

(505 Posts)
MyPhoneIsMyWorld Wed 19-Jun-13 16:47:16

Namechanged for this one.

I'm in my late thirties, met a new bloke, haven't done the deed yet.

So, the question I need to ask is what do men like these days with regard to pubes. I was married for 14 years and basically just kept things trimmed down there.
Don't want to end up in bed with this guy and have him turned off by my possibly 'retro' style!

I'm happy to keep up with the times but don't want to go all out bald down there if it's not necessary.

Any tips? smile

ElizabethX Tue 25-Jun-13 19:17:27

I am completely baffled by the practicality of blokes shaving their pubes.

My bloke has hairy legs plus the usual pubes, which sort of merge without a break into hair below his belly button up his stomach and chest.

If he shaved his pubes off, where exactly should he stop? He would be left with a bald patch shaped like a side plate above/round which normal body hair would abruptly resume. It would look utterly silly IMHO.

I can see where I'd stop if I shaved mine off. It would be the bush. FWIW mine are off the legs and not left too long bit otherwise naturelle and I have never had any complaints.

As a bit of a gym rat I have observed (sidelong) a certain lack of female pubes but I put this down to the shavees' boyfriends' excessive consumption of internet porn....cuz I can't think where else a trend for changing the appearance of something not on display could have originated.

I have been known to wear low rise cargo pants a la All Saints (well I was 20..as were they) and I don't recall them being so low rise my pubes showed over the top...

Dahlialover Tue 25-Jun-13 19:23:03

Like snuggling up to a piece of sandpaper sad

ElizabethX Tue 25-Jun-13 19:26:30

I want to know what the OP's bloke made of her pubes in the end?

IsThisAGoodIdea don't worry you are perfectly normal.

Fanjos are as variable as snowflakes smile

See this is the problem, whip the hair off and people then start worrying they aren't shaped 'normally' and suddenly there's a massive industry in labiaplasty and on it goes ...

Whatever next? Will we be told our colons are the wrong colour? Our cervixes (cervices? cervii?) are the wrong shape?

cronullansw Wed 26-Jun-13 00:16:36

CarpeVinum

Your views about the lack of pubic hair do not correspond with traditional MN views - ''it's the beasts fault, all because they love porn, keep it big and fluffy, and fuck him if he doesn't like it, he's lucky to have you as you are and he should worship you for this and if he doesn't, then LTB''

I find it very refreshing, thank you for your contribution.

CarpeVinum Wed 26-Jun-13 15:25:04

Oh I would ignore any historical based supposition on my part. On the basis of "apple doesn't fall very far from the tree".

I've just invigilated my son's history exam.

Q: Name Henry VIII's wives.

DS: Cheryl.

Me: confused

Summer Holiday History Gulag to commence in 3,2,1....<blast off>

DonutForMyself Wed 26-Jun-13 22:24:50

shock Seriously?!

Boomba Wed 26-Jun-13 22:39:41

Tis a good guess! grin

CarpeVinum Wed 26-Jun-13 23:37:01

Seriously.

It's his first ever year of British history. I suppose he was just casting about for a name, any name and for some reason Cheryl popped up. Not sure why. We don't know anybody called Cheryl, and he watches Italian X factor not the British one...so god only knows where that came from.

Still, Queen Cheryl has a certain ring to it...

Dahlialover Thu 27-Jun-13 13:10:18

carpe, I am very taken with your historical perspective - it certainly makes sense.

DonutForMyself Fri 28-Jun-13 09:18:16

ElizabethX I love the vision of your man "with a bald patch shaped like a side plate above/round which normal body hair would abruptly resume". I can see the point of men trimming a bit, but shaving - ugh! (Still, not everyone is lucky enough to have a hairy god, I stipulated it on my dating profile criteria - must have hairy chest!)

Well since removing a significant amount of my bush, I have just developed a nice bout of thrush for the first time in months - coincidence? I guess the hair is there for a reason, looks like the Jackson 5 will be having a reunion grin

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Sat 29-Jun-13 17:33:49

An update:

Groomed and ready for action! If it's going to happen it'll be tonight.

Uncertain though as I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. Not sure if this is because he knows he'll see me tonight or, he's gone cold on me. We are going out separately with a large group tonight - the ideal ending would be us ending up together alone.

If it doesn't happen tonight then I'll have my answer... I've been on 'high alert' for too long - it's exhausting. He can sod off and stop stringing me along.

cronullansw Mon 01-Jul-13 09:12:56

MyPhone.......

So? any news for us? And what style of 'grooming' did one settle for in the end?

MyPhoneIsMyWorld Mon 01-Jul-13 13:03:48

Alas, he virtually ignored me on the night out, so my grooming went to waste. Very angry after the night ended - I sent him a text to say I was fucking livid rather put out. He texted back saying he was quite offended. I didn't text again.

So that's the end of that for now. Being philosophical though. I knew he was a 'player' type but thought it'd be a bit of fun. Maybe he's still playing me along - wouldn't be surprised to hear from him again at some point.

equinox Mon 01-Jul-13 15:07:28

It appears guys below the age of 30 generally wish us to be bare but those older like us trimmed.

There are very few that enjoy a forest down there so bear that in mind! Depending on how hairy you are you may need to keep it trimmed or consider getting it regularly waxed.

Boosterseat Mon 01-Jul-13 15:14:35

wish is the right word Equinox

They can bloody wish all they want but they get what they are given.

Jan45 Mon 01-Jul-13 16:03:37

Just make sure you are trimmed, the bald look is awful, you're not a child so why look like one? And, that's rubbish about it being more hygienic, you actually need a bit of hair down there, it's not natural to have none.

AnyFucker Mon 01-Jul-13 17:32:21

All that wasted energy worrying about your bush and he blanked you anyway

next time just think about having a good night, and don't give one solitary thought to your minge topiary

cronullansw Tue 02-Jul-13 05:55:50

Booster - Jan,

You've not read terribly much of this thread have you.

ALittleStranger Tue 02-Jul-13 07:12:49

Well I definitely stand by my opinion of men who send cock shots.

Boosterseat Tue 02-Jul-13 09:49:09

cron Ive read it all thank you kindly.

AnyFucker Tue 02-Jul-13 11:29:41

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Dahlialover Tue 02-Jul-13 14:13:45

I have to agree with Alittlestranger about the photos.

Sorry he wasn't up to it - hope the next one is MUCH better.

Darkesteyes Tue 02-Jul-13 17:14:59

Wow Who needs to read Closer or Heat to make themselves feel shit when posters like Jan45 and Equinox around.

Ive got a full bush and ive never even trimmed. Its just one more thing that women are suppossed to worry about looks wise.
I dont believe its a coincidence that over time women have been expected to spend more and more time beautifying themselves to please men (and other women going by the attitudes here) coinciding with the fact that women are slowly gaining ground equality wise. Noooo we cant have that can we? So lets give them something else to worry about looks wise.
My relationships have always been with men older than myself. My last sexual partner was 17 yrs older than me. He loved every single part of me sexually. Because it was all part of me.

Darkesteyes Tue 02-Jul-13 17:30:23

My last partner who ive mentioned in the above thread used to shave his chest. Because the woman he liked before me liked it that way.
I remember telling him that i wasnt bothered either way. because its just not important to me. There is a lot more to sex than all this worrying about a bit of hair bollocks. There is the initial attraction and sexual chemistry. After telling him i really didnt mind what he did with his chest hair he let it grow back. And i liked it I still do like it on a man.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now