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Driving away

(1000 Posts)
Pumble Fri 28-Dec-12 00:52:13

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

Pumble Thu 31-Jan-13 21:13:01

Switching between the two....but surviving. Pumblett 1 is coughing so much she just wants reassurance she's not alone I think. Was horrible listening to her call for me when I was with pumblett 2. She doesn't seem to be waking up (yet) which is something.

I've been on my own for an hour and a half now and we are all still alive and I haven't cried grin

magimedi Thu 31-Jan-13 22:38:41

You are doing so well!

I am not being patronising saying that - you are just amazing, Pumble.

((( X

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 31-Jan-13 22:48:51

Oh good Pumble you've got it all in hand - it is all right to wish we weren't coping on our own at times and as it happens, the DCs do sometimes synchronise neediness. They are warm and safe and it's not harming them if they wait their turn. No wonder Victorians built nurseries far up in the attics away from the adults.

Pumble Thu 31-Jan-13 23:09:58

I survived grin and more importantly so did the pumbletts!!!

magi I know it wasn't meant in a patronising way and I really appreciate you saying it.

Hmmm - a nursery in the attic.....my mind is wandering wink

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 01-Feb-13 00:52:00

<High fives all round> smile

DeepRedBetty Fri 01-Feb-13 15:12:25

Poor Pumblett 1's cold seems to be taking forever to shift sad. How's Pumblett 2?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 01-Feb-13 15:27:53

It's hard when members of a family pass round a cold or versions of it back and forth. Try and keep their fluid intake up. If she starts wheezing or you hear a kind of whistling noise when she breathes out I'd take Pumblett1 down to the doctor's.

If it's not a cold it wouldn't be pollen at this time of year. You don't have a cat do you Pumble? (Thinking of an allergy).

Pumble Sat 02-Feb-13 20:57:48

This is probably going to sound really stupid but thought I'd say it anyway! I'm sitting in with pumblett 2 rocking the crib as she sucks my finger and I am feeling really proud of myself for calming her after she got unsettled and getting her back in the crib without panicking, getting stressed or getting upset. Ok, so she's not totally calm yet but she's a lot better than she was earlier! And I even came up to swap with mr pumble rather than hiding out downstairs! As I said, it probably sounds really stupid but given everything I feel really pleased smile.

geekette Sat 02-Feb-13 21:53:10

oh! well done pumble!

Oh that's fab!

Yay, you're doing so well!

It's so good to hear how you're doing, honestly I didn't feel I could explain to anyone in RL when I was bad, they didn't really 'get' how much of a big deal it was that I felt well enough to volunteer to cook supper or settle DS etc.
This stuff IS a big deal!

Team Pumble is on the mend. smile

magimedi Sat 02-Feb-13 23:07:43

YAY!!!!!

You are right to feel pleased.

And I am feeling pleased for you!

((( X )))

Sunnywithshowers Sat 02-Feb-13 23:58:04

Well done lovely smile

DeepRedBetty Sun 03-Feb-13 00:46:27

<waves flags and jumps up and down> Pumble's winning the battle!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sun 03-Feb-13 01:37:46

Coming home late read threads and this one stood out. Well done Pumble this was so great to read.

NaturalBaby Sun 03-Feb-13 21:00:59

Checking back in - you sound like a new woman Pumble! It's a long, hard slog but every day is another day forward.

Pumble Mon 04-Feb-13 21:48:20

A couple of days of ups and downs and so shattered, I'm not really thinking straight! But wanted to check in and say that the pumbletts and I are ok. More excitingly, I managed to get pumblett 1 in the bath and her cold seems to finally be on the way out! Unfortunately she has given it to pumblett 2 who is really, really suffering!

Off to bed, feeling rather 'flat' and just thinking, another day is done....

Good to hear you're feeling ok, if knackered! Another day done is another day getting better, it's all progress even if it feels like a plod at the time. Time matches ever onward... smile

magimedi Tue 05-Feb-13 16:53:41

Sorry to hear you are knackered but pleased to hear that you sound like you are coping better.

Spring is coming - the longer days always make life seem better to me.

Pumble Tue 05-Feb-13 19:55:55

Feeling useless and like the worlds worst mother hmm.

Pumble Tue 05-Feb-13 20:02:49

And a rubbish wife hmm.

2cats222 Tue 05-Feb-13 20:33:31

Pumble, have just read whole thread sitting in Sainsburys car park. Can not believe how amazingly strong you've been and how well you are doing, I'm so proud of you and wish I could give you real ((((hugs)))). Don't beat yourself up when you have a day that isn't so great, it's normal. Tiny baby steps and big hugs, we're here to listen if you want a moan, a rant, a shoulder to cry on or a cuddle xxx

TeaOperated Tue 05-Feb-13 21:24:03

Pumble I've just read through the entire thread and just want to say how amazing you are, and what a wonderful mum and wife you clearly are. You've been pulling yourself out of a hole by your fingernails, and the change in your posts over the past month have been amazing.

I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish, but read back over some of your posts and the amazing things you've achieved. Your girls and Mr Pumble are really, really lucky to have you. Try to remember some of the good moments you've posted. You've clawed your way so far out of this hole - if you slip back in a bit, you can get back out again - you know how. Don't feel guilty if it feels like it's taking forever, or if you just don't have the energy today. Your past posts have shown that the worst nights do turn into sunny mornings. Xx

magimedi Tue 05-Feb-13 22:11:59

You are neither a bad wife nor bad mother.

You are having a bad day, & I wish I could come round & help you.

I hope you read this when you wake up tomorrow & are feeling a bit better.

Go to page 1 of this thread & see how bloody far you have come.

You are a real star, you've had the wit to call for help here , you've asked Mr P for help & you've been to the GP for help.

No one has 100% perfect days. We all have shite ones. I just hope you get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight.

Will log in to see you tomorrow! ((( xxx )))

Hugs from me too. You're most definitely not even a bad mother, let alone the world's worst. You love your girls and you love your husband - and they love you back. What does Mr Pumble say?

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