Ma - I know how he reacted when you tried to gently tell him that the marriage was over, I remember how utterly distraught he got. I don't know what to suggest that I haven't already to deal with the emotional side of it.
I guess that one day, it will come to a head and all be over in the blink of an eye. He will push you, I'm sure he will, to breaking point, and far beyond.
He doesn't understand that for you, this is the end of the line which is fairly typical of someone who is still in love with their partner.
Has he used the 'but what about the DCs' line yet? Emotional blackmail?
You know when you go out, in your dress, are you going to be with him? I bet if you're not, you'll feel so much more confident and look amazing because your inner smile will come shining through.
When was the last time that happened? When did you last really enjoy something together? 
Thing is Ma if he was punching you, raping you (fine line between what he does already) and treating you like dirt, we'd all be telling you, no, screaming at you to leave and you know for a fact that the Babes up near you would be there like a shot to help you get out.
So what's the difference? You're not happy, in fact you are desperately unhappy. You're not in love with him any more, and haven't been for some time.
How long do you have to live like this? For him? For the DC?
I think you need to sit down and really think about how long you are going to let this go on for. Even set a date. Work towards it and seriously make preparations to separate, to leave.
It's so unhealthy for you to stay trapped like this. What kind of life are you even having there? You're not happy, you're not enjoying your life. You are living his life, the way that he wants you to.
I'm sorry but you know how much I care about you. Please. Start to seriously think about when this is going to stop.
Much love xx