Weird accidents that are strangely hilarious

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SnakeyMcBadass Mon 27-Jan-14 10:35:42

I got up to check on the DC last night and tip toed across the squeaky landing. Returning to the bedroom, I somehow managed to walk/bump into the lever door handle. The door handle threaded itself down the side of my pants, stopping any forward motion of said pants. My arse, however, was still in motion. I was still on tip toe, managed to get a front bum wedgie, and tip forwards. I put my hands out to stop my fall, and DH woke up to find me doing a weird half handstand while attached to the door and muttering 'Fuck, fuck, fuck'. He pissed himself laughing rather than helping to free me, the bastard. I have a cracking bruise on my hip and a carpet burn on my elbow, but the pants are still intact. I am quite impressed by the engineering, tbh. Anyone else hung themselves upside down from a door?

DontWannaBeObamasElf Mon 27-Jan-14 10:38:19

grin Nothing like that but when I was changing BabyElf I hadn't noticed my belt loop had hooked onto the drawer handle until I went to leave the room and took the drawer with me.

SciFiFan Mon 27-Jan-14 10:47:51

Once in my youth I was going down from the top floor of a bus. The bus turned a corner which swung me round the pole, I grabbed the rail and was left dangling in mid-air. The people below could just see two feet hanging in the air blush. Still makes me cringe 20+ years later. grin

2whippetsnobed Mon 27-Jan-14 10:50:34

Love your description OP grin

For me the silliest thing I have done is when I tried to get out of the passenger seat of the car whilst we had parked on a hill. Unfortunately my foot was caught in the strap of my handbag and instead of a dignified exit I fell flat on my face and then rolled down the hill with my top flapping up for all to see. There was a lovely queue of bystanders watching too.

SnakeyMcBadass Mon 27-Jan-14 10:51:16

Arf Sci grin

DS1, when he was about 10, pulled his beanie hat down over his face and ran down the road. He hit a lamp post dead centre, both arms and legs went flying around it, and landed on his back saying weakly 'ow'. Did I run to my PFB and comfort him? Yes. Was I pissing myself laughing to the point of tears? Yes again.

SnakeyMcBadass Mon 27-Jan-14 10:52:18

Was it a slow, elegant roll? Or a Starsky and Hutch action stunt? <interested>

SPsMrLoverManSHABBA Mon 27-Jan-14 10:52:31

grin

I fell down the stairs last year. I rolled down head over arse a few times and took the safety gate out. I looked like a bowling ball taking out skittles. It hurt but it seemed hilarious and my son laughed for ages about it

SpottyDottie Mon 27-Jan-14 10:56:51

In my defence I was just a child but I went to slide down a slide and caught one knicker leg on the edge. I was momentarily left dangling part way down until they gave way and I slid down!

2whippetsnobed Mon 27-Jan-14 10:59:20

It was more of a slapstick clown in a circus pratfall except with much more pain. Dh laughed about it for weeks.

Yesterday my DD aged 8 fell whilst holding the dogs lead. She bounced along the pavement flat on her face for about 4 meters until the dog realized something was amiss. I really had to surppress my giggles when I picked her up from the floor.

EmotionalCrotch Mon 27-Jan-14 10:59:24

SciFiFan I had to cross my legs reading yours.

Mine was going to work at quarter to 6 one very frosty morning last year, stepping off a path skidding on black ice, I disappeared under the back of my friend/colleagues people carrier who was giving me a lift, I went down with such force my work shoes [pumps] shot off down the street. My friend could hear me shouting her name but couldn't figure out where it was coming from she got out found me lying in a heap with my head poking out from her right rear wheel head on the kerb like a hard icey pillow, eventually managed to help me back on my feet. She went skated off to find my shoes. We got to work me crying but in fits of laughter as well. I got sent to A&E with really bad concusion and severe bruising along with a sprained ankle. We still howl about it 1 year later. grin

2whippetsnobed Mon 27-Jan-14 11:00:13

Giggling to myself with the mental image of the human bowling ball. grin

SnakeyMcBadass Mon 27-Jan-14 11:00:41

grin Shouldn't laugh, but...<snigger>

DS2 perhaps has the best story ever. He was about 4, and newly in his mid sleeper. We were sitting downstairs watching the tv, when all of a sudden there was a pitiful wail 'Muuuuuummmeeeeeeeee'. DH and I looked at each other, sighed, and rock/paper/scissored (DS was a bit of a bugger at bed time, and we assumed too hot/cold/need a wee/drink/lost teddy etc). I lost, and went up. As I reached the landing, I looked left into DS2's room and was confronted with a very full pillowcase with eyes. DS had managed to climb into said pillowcase, but got his head stuck in the flappy bit. He barely fitted and had no wriggle room to free himself. All that was showing of my DS were his sad eyes, as he weebled around in his pillowcase prison. I howled and DH had to come up to help free him as my hands went all week. DS didn't talk to us for ten minutes as he was furious at how funny we found it. Christ, just remembering it now has set me off again <wipes tears>

CalamityJones Mon 27-Jan-14 11:02:56

I've told it before but sod it, I'll tell it again. I was in flagrante with a young man and I was on top (gravity and childbirth had yet to take their terrible toll). Everything going great until young man started screaming and thrashing wildly beneath me. I thought it was due to my sexual prowess so... kept on, until he finally screamed MY TOE!!! Poor lamb had got it caught between the bars of his (on at full blast) electric fire.

rainbowfeet Mon 27-Jan-14 11:03:12

Back in my younger days... I managed to fall top to bottom on some wrought iron stairs (bloody killer heels is right)!! hmm

However even though I did several side rolls & a full somersault when I reached the bottom my cigarette was still lit. & intact in one hand & my bottle of hooch unbroken & half full in the other!!! grin

My friends were at the top screaming for someone to call an ambulance but I cooly styled it out stood up & took a puff of my fag!! I was the stuff of legends for weeks!! wink

LottieLaBouff Mon 27-Jan-14 11:03:21

When I was 13 I wore Adidas shell toes and trackies everywhere.
One icy day when walking home from school I slipped down a really steep hill. My shell toes obvs didn't have enough grip. I grabbed on to a wall half way through and stopped, unfortunately my trackies didn't catch the memo and kept going. So there I was, 13, dangling off a wall with no trousers on, my hello kitty bum flashing for all my high school to see. My best friend stood with tears streaming down her face.
What's worse is that I lost my coin ring that day. wink I think that was a turning point in my life! Started listening to rock music and dressing that way soon after! grin

If anyone has seen Waterloo road, that's my old school and it's on a hill! The one I slipped down...

DontWannaBeObamasElf Mon 27-Jan-14 11:04:00

Just remembered another one. My sister had a cabin bed, I was climbing up the ladder when the step spun and I was trapped between the ladder and the bed. I had to be drilled out.

EmotionalCrotch Mon 27-Jan-14 11:04:28

Oh Snakey that is so bloody funny! grin

SnakeyMcBadass Mon 27-Jan-14 11:05:35

I am loving these <gleeful enjoyment of other people's misery>

2whippetsnobed Mon 27-Jan-14 11:05:50

This thread has cheered me up no end!

One more, A few weeks ago I took the dog and my dcs for a walk in the woods nearby. The dog and dcs were all happily scrambling down the hill to play in the river when I slipped, fell, rolled through some mud and got my leg stuck on the small tree so ended up hanging upside down by my leg whilst covered in mud. Dcs thought it hilarious as the only way to free myself was to wiggle my leg until it came loose and then because I was still upside down I half slid half rolled down the rest of the hill.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Mon 27-Jan-14 11:07:37

these are brilliant.
my only contribution was juming onto the sofa (to land on my bum) and got a biro stuck into the back of my thigh.. (in by about a cm although felt like a couple of inches)

Ooh I have dangled myself upside down on a door handle caught on my belt loop. Dd aged 10 and I are dyspraxic and we are used to comedy accidents. Thankfully we can laugh about them.
She has taken a short cut down while out hill walking by falling and forward rolling a fair distance. When she stood up she brought a whole new meaning to the phrase dragged through a hedge. He waist length hair had picked up thousands of dry leaves and pine needles and was standing on end with them all.
She was also proudly showing off aged 8 that she could pedal a short distance by herself but she hadn't mastered turning and went cartoon style into a lamp post. My friend and I couldn't do anything but laugh.

When we purchased our new bed a few weeks ago it was bought with my propensity for walking into large objects taken into account. We have been using it a fortnight and I have banged my knee on it at least 4 times once quite badly. Dp is still trying to figure out how I hurt myself so badly as there is nothing hard or exposed at knee height bit it has been the same spot on my knee every time.

FastWindow Mon 27-Jan-14 11:13:37

When I was young and hot some bloke walked into a parking meter whilst ogling me and my friend. We fell about.

In fact I'm so good at having accidents I'm 35 soon and my mum still tells me not to go up and down stairs in flip flops or slippers grin

whojamaflip Mon 27-Jan-14 11:21:07

I used to work on a horse yard and it was New Year's Eve - reduced work do the horses were put on the horse walker while we mucked out. One have worked out that if he planted his arse against it everything stopped and he didn't have to walk. After the umpteenth time of chasing him on I ran at the walker and lifted my foot to kick the side of it .......

Neglected to take into account the ice on the yard and time slowed down as the other leg followed up in a perfect clown slip on banana move and I landed full weight on my backside - one broken coccyx later and a new year spent on very strong painkillers blush

Rissolesfortea Mon 27-Jan-14 11:22:26

These are so funny but I have actually cried real tears with snot and hiccups at the weebling pillowcase with sad eyes grin.

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