Mumsnet Talk

What shall i wash him with?

bleach

or chop off the hand

Dip him in dettol and take him to the gp for tests

better make sure its organic bleach though

Is he talking with a common accent and wiping his nose with the back of his hand - if so, I'd ring nhs direct.

a good burgundy

I've just booked him in the local private hospital for an examintaion, keep your fingers crossed.

Has anything rubbed off on him? I mean like orange dust from the wotsits the boy was having for breakfast, or crumbs from a sausage roll or anything? If so, I would take him to a decontamination chamber. There is bound to be one near you, look in the yellow pages.

pass the (fragrance free Nature) wipes

Did this happen at school? I'd complain to ofsted, if I were you. This is outrageous.

But on the other hand if you send him to a state school what do you expect? You have to take spme responsibility here.

by working class do you mean he comes from a family where somebody works, in which case thank your luck stars it's not as bad as it might have been

smartie stains? white bread crumbs ??

pass the (fragrance free Nature) wipes

did the experience have any improving effects on the other child?

whoops!
maybe it was for "show & tell"?

O my God! He'll be wanting a Fruit Shoot next...

The school probably encouraged him to do it - they're only interested in upping their SATS scores.

ff is there a farm nearby maybe you could pop him in the sheep dip

give him a sausage roll and shut up.

..or a (Nigella recipe) marmite sandwich

good for boosting his natural immunity though
it's excellent practice to allow them to be in contact with dirty things like dogs and cow manure and filthy peasants

..I can also loan out my cat for contact with fleas/worms/nasty dead things