Mumsnet Talk

dont use normal hair removing cream on your lady garden, felt like it was on fire. Then went into a bath to make sure it was washed off properly and made it burn more. Dh had to waft a magazine at it to cool it down

Also tried microwave wax and it got welded to the hair had to snip with scissors and flick it off. Painful!!

Don't eat a Steradent tablet.

When I was a kid, I asked my Gran what they were for and she said "I use them to clean my teeth" (she had falsies). Later on, I was about to go to bed and I decided to test out this novel "toothpaste" so I put one in my mouth and gave one to my sister.

As soon as they hit saliva they just start foaming- we looked like rabies victims.

Bagged that has just made me spit wine tea all over my laptop

Do not use neat TCP on a spot on your face. It will burn your skin and eventually leave a huge scab

Which of course everyone will ask how you got

Don't kneel on a drawing pin. It was all the way in and I had to pull it out <feels a bit weak and dizzy at the memory>

Learned not sniff lemonade up my nose (was a kid, don't ask).

Give birth, it effing hurts! I've still done it twice though <idiot emoticon>.

LifeofKate

Don't throw perfume on a fire to put it out.

Don't iron clothes whilst still wearing them. I have a scar.

Don't pull out one of the DCs teeth even if they are begging you because it is hanging by a thread. The little tuggy feeling will make you pass out and you will be unable to walk them to school.

I have also done the treadmill thing, I still don't like being on them now.

Do not curl your hair with your v hot tongs which are covered in melted plastic from the apparently heat resistant material. Do not then blame children for putting bits of sticky Wham bar in your hair.

Not to leave writing assignments until the day they're due in. Oh no, wait...<sobs over the 2k words due in at 4pm today. Decides to browse MN for just a bit longer>

Don't try to reach over and undo the bonnet catch on the car. You will end up in a heap on the floor with Mama Lazarou (as she's been rechristened) from next door looking at you through the privets. It happened yesterday and it bloody hurts.

Don't use Vicks on your cheeks. My friend and I were crying for hours.

Don't pour a cup of tea without checking the kettle lid is on properly. If it's one with a handle that arches over the lid. That steam will BURN!

Definitely DO NOT allow idiot ExP to then apply butter to said burn.

Oh God so many.

Do not go to the bin on a windy day. The door may shut, locking you out in your PJs. With no phone. No money. And possibly worse, no make up.

Do not assume your train is a stopping service.

Do not let the petrol gauge in your car get down to 3miles only to discover the nearest garage is closed.

Do not drink six mojitos at your publishers drinks parties.

Do not slip off uncomfortable shoes under the table at a lunch meeting. You may not be able to get them back on and that will be very embarrassing when you leave.

Do not put an alka-seltzer straight into your mouth when you have a hangover.

And if your boyfriend does it - do not laugh at him.

Thanks Foxy, I thought I deserved a bit of sympathy for that one, particularly as I didn't get any at home

Acanthus - am crying with laughter at your passing out after pulling tooth out

Don't stand in stupid positions when digging an allotment. Feet close together, bend back properly, do not twist.

Bending stupidly results in 2 prolapsed discs and a year off work

And it fecking hurts.

Oh yes, re: trains. Do not assume the train that has always gone from Platform 1 and stops at your town will always do so. Sometimes the trains at Platform 1 have a little aay day and go somewhere completely different. For hours and hours on end. Oh yes.

"Rub eyes after chopping chillies - ow. And yet I do it almost every time {idiot}"

It's even worse if you have a wank.

Do not use a hanger to pull yourself up into a high cupboard. The hanger will slip and you will fall backwards, ending up with a plug embedded in your ass cheek. Yes, this did actually happen, and no, it didn't really hurt that much. It was more painful having to listen my mum and sister take the piss out of me for about ten years afterwards. Disappointingly I do not have a plug-shaped scar on my ass.

When you have an old dog in the house who can be, ahem, unreliable, do not pick small brown crumb off the sofa and pop it in your mouth, assuming it is chocolate = vomm

BumsOnSeats hahahahahahahahahahaha

first time I shaved my legs I tried to wipe the hairs out of the razor using my thumb. I didn't do that again.

LOVE the tooth advice