Pirate noises during sex????????????????? ???

(257 Posts)
regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 21:51:21

Am too embarrassed to reveal my true identity but i am a bit freaked out by my dp. Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex, eg 'Arr matey' in the style of that weird sea captain from the Simpsons?!

The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'

There are various others along the same lines but i won't go into them all now.

He is not a sailor btw, and has (AFAIK) no connection to seafaring folk;)

Just wondering if i can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel (it's just f*ing weird IMO, but it seems to be turning him on!).

LadyTophamHatt Mon 17-Oct-05 21:53:26

err, seriously???

Aimsmum Mon 17-Oct-05 21:54:17

Message withdrawn

regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 21:54:34

Yes! How weird is it!?

JanH Mon 17-Oct-05 21:55:39

Oh lol! Sorry but that is really funny - doesn't he realise? Maybe you should start giggling when he says it?

fuzzywuzzy Mon 17-Oct-05 21:56:00

I'd collapse into hysterics therefore killing the mood, and any further attempts at pirate talk....

spidermama Mon 17-Oct-05 21:56:05

I've asked my dh about this and he says your dp is probably doing this because he reckons pirates are dashing and sexy. It's also a bit of fun, says my dh.

Awwww, bless! You have to tell him to cut the pirate bit. It must be wrecking your experience.

I just asked DH how best you could tell him without humiliating him and he said, 'There's no way around that'.
Then he said, 'Offer him a fantastic blow job on the condition he never does pirate noises again.'

regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 21:56:20

I think honestly if i collapsed into giggles he would be really hurt.

Bugsy2 Mon 17-Oct-05 21:58:31

Anorak - is this you?

LadyTophamHatt Mon 17-Oct-05 21:59:22

Very weird.
If it was my Dh I would laugh and laugh, and tell him to shut his stupid mouth!

spidermama Mon 17-Oct-05 21:59:28

Tell him you'll give him the best blow job of his life, if he promises to cut out the pirate noises for good.

regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 22:01:06

I am not anorak, but i am a reg. Why, does she have a dashing pirate hubby?;)

It is just so bizarre it totally puts me off, but the Bj idea might be good. humiliating it will be i imagine! Maybe i went on about Captain Jack Sparrow a bit too much when we were watching Pirates of the Carribean....

HappyMumof2 Mon 17-Oct-05 22:01:56

Message withdrawn

Caligula Mon 17-Oct-05 22:02:33

Oh God what a classic thread title.

You could try making pirate noises back, or shouting pieces of eight, pieces of eight!

Sorry, possibly not very helpful advice there!

SleepySuzy Mon 17-Oct-05 22:03:46

If he looks like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean, he can be forgiven

regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 22:03:47

erm...no, sex is normally quite good, and NORMAL!
I think he might be trying too hard to spice things up

GeraldGiraffe Mon 17-Oct-05 22:05:39

How about replying 'Ah, you've found me treasure chest' enthusiastically? ;)

rummum Mon 17-Oct-05 22:05:55

why don't you get a stuffed parrot and put on your headboard.. that should put him off...

Bugsy2 Mon 17-Oct-05 22:06:43

I don't know if Anorak's H is a dashing pirate but she did reveal some of his corking one liners a few days ago during the groping in the kitchen thread.
I am howling with laughter and I know I would do the same if anyone said those things to me during sex. How on earth do you maintain your poise RMNer?

soapbox Mon 17-Oct-05 22:06:51

God I think I would wet myself laughing - not at all the desired effect I think

Has he been watching any pirate films recently

regularmumsnetter Mon 17-Oct-05 22:08:08

Sadly he doesn't look like Mr Depp, however he is very sexy, he doesn't need to make pirate noises to turn me on...

blueteddy Mon 17-Oct-05 22:08:40

Message withdrawn

soapbox Mon 17-Oct-05 22:13:24

I think the next time when he starts you should just say loudly 'can we cut the long john silver crap - you haven't got a wooden leg and last time I looked there wasn't a parrot on your shoulder'!

That should shut him up!

Or think of something that would turn you on and ask him to substitute

hunkerpumpkin Mon 17-Oct-05 22:14:46

Can you talk to him about it away from actually mid-coitus?

Just ask him why he's started being a pirate in bed.

lockets Mon 17-Oct-05 22:17:27

Make him walk the plank ......

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