ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

is it OK for the school to suspend dd and not notify me?

(296 Posts)
NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:03:26

well OK they sent me an email at 3,25pm to tell me that she was being suspended for a day, the next day, 'paperwork to follow'.
is that actually OK?

sooperdooper Fri 04-Jul-14 09:05:37

They did let you know then

Xcountry Fri 04-Jul-14 09:06:06

How old is she? Here if they are 16 or older they don't have to tell you. DH and I were both kicked out without his mum knowing (I was in care so it didn't matter to me)

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:06:25

Not sure - however rather than waste your energy on the rights and wrongs of the school - I would be putting more of into WHY your daughter WW suspended and what you can do about it to ensure it doesn't happen again !

combust22 Fri 04-Jul-14 09:08:45

I can't see a problem. Like others I would be far more concerned with why your daughter was suspended rather than any perceived wrongdoing by the school.

NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:09:21

70 hours that is so predictable, I could have counted 1 - 2 -3 and someone would have posted that
x country she is 15
and no sooper they did not let me know as I do not have internet access at home, therefore I read their email at 8.30 this morning.

NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:10:43

well i know what you are saying but as she was not suspended for anything too worrying (eg not fighting, bullying or being rude etc) I am more concerned with the fact that the school did not even let me know.

combust22 Fri 04-Jul-14 09:11:57

Suspension is quite serious though- she must have done something to merit such an action.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:12:11

Well you still posted and my opinion still stands - can't bear parents so have to blame schoo, for 'something' even when there child is clearly to blame. hats your problem has it inconvenienced your day today - if so I would suggest it is not the that has inconvenienced your day but your daughter and if you was to be angry with someone that would be a good place to start - sorry !

thecageisfull Fri 04-Jul-14 09:12:36

I don't think it's the school's fault that you didn't read your email unless you have explicitly told them not to contact you by email.

Surely dd told you when she got home.

combust22 Fri 04-Jul-14 09:13:01

I would also ask your DD why she didn't tell you. A 15 year old is responsible enough to convey that message to you.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:13:13

They did let you know via email at 3.25 - how have they not let you know !!!

ReallyTired Fri 04-Jul-14 09:15:06

I am surprised that the school has not called you to a meeting to tell you in person and why your child has been suspended. A parent should not be given such news by email. The school should have least had the decency to telephone you.

Children don't get suspended for triva. How can you not not be worried if your child has been suspended? Children are only suspended from school as a second to last restort after truely terrible behaviour.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:15:44

What do you want from the school ? - do you want them to renegade on the suspension because they didn't let you know ? Do you want an apology ? Do you want an argument ? Can't u der stand what you want out of this whether they were right or wrong tbh !

NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:16:08

combust she walked out of internal exclusion which she was in for not attending a detention which 'she did not know about' (yeh right)
yes of course she told me but I still think the school could have suspended her on the monday say, and let me know properly.
thanks for all the input though evveryone

FiveGoMadInDorset Fri 04-Jul-14 09:16:57

Do they know that they can't be contacted by email? Why didn't your daughter tell you?

JustLikeHoney Fri 04-Jul-14 09:17:05

Did your daughter not inform you?

Surely the school's email is meant to be an immediate and official confirmation to corroborate what your daughter is expected to inform you of. And with (it sounds like) the official paperwork being processed and to come.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:17:32

I would address your anger to your daughter

JustLikeHoney Fri 04-Jul-14 09:18:00

xpost obviously. smile

NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:18:30

' would address your anger to your daughter'
not even quite sure what that is supposed to mean.
do you mean I should be angry with my daughter?
what should I do? beat her?

ReallyTired Fri 04-Jul-14 09:18:40

"I would also ask your DD why she didn't tell you. A 15 year old is responsible enough to convey that message to you."

I think that its a little unreasonable.

a) The fifteen year old would be deeply ashamed.
b) The fifteen year old might have plans to go and see friends.
c) Even if the fifteen year old did tell the parents, the parents might not believe her and think she wants to bunk school to do (b).
d) The fifteen year old is scared of the consequences and might want to keep the fact that she has been suspended a secret.
e) The type of fifteen year old who gets suspended from school is not the type of child to be responsible.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:19:42

No Nigellas how do you get that from my posts - effective discipline doesn't include beating - however effective parenting does include discipline and recognising that your children have faults

NigellasDealer Fri 04-Jul-14 09:20:33

are you just spoiliing for a fight or something 70 hours?
i know very well my child has faults.

70hours Fri 04-Jul-14 09:22:12

No cant stand school bashing or looking for fault tbh - your child was suspended deal with it. How the school let you know is a trivial part of what happened IMO

ReallyTired Fri 04-Jul-14 09:23:33

Have any of the people on this thread actually had experience of teens? How on earth is NigellasDealer suppose to displine her child when she has no idea of what the back story is. A child will only pick the parts of the story that paint them in a rosey light.

I feel that informing a parent by email that their child has been suspended is doing them a disservice. It is too casual. In a decent school suspended a child is very rare. I would expect a member of the senior management team to phone up the OP and explain the circumstances. A school has a basic duty of care to the OP daughter however shitty her behaviour is.

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