Sorry, it’s a long one!
DH and I invited my DM and his Dsis over for a BBQ today.
I have a very strained relationship with DM (alcoholic, drinking even more heavily since losing DSD a couple of months ago). I removed myself for a bit after a particularly difficult conversation with DM, she left, and I then came back. Said to DH it would have been nice if he had checked if I was ok in the 40mins I was gone - his answer was he was BBQing and hosting and thought I just wanted to be left alone. Ended up in us being a bit cross with each other, but was squashed and all fine. SIL on the other hand was sympathetic and understanding.
I went to the kitchen after clearing everything away by myself, to do the washing up but could hear SIL in the garden saying to DH that I’m psychotic, mental, she feels sorry for him having to live with me (we never row, we’re married happily 99% of the time, raising our family, both just trying to make everyone happy all the time).
I came out, said I could hear her and told her if she was going to be disrespectful to me in my own house having fed her and waited on her hand and foot all night then she could leave. She then said to DH “see, psychotic! Listening in to what I’m saying to you!”. Our garden table is next to our open kitchen door!
she completely lost it with me in front of mine and DHs children - called me a cunt, a slag, a dirty fucking tramp, to get back in the gutter where I’d be if it wasn’t for her brother etc. DH shouting at her to stop. I sent the DCs away, and repeatedly told her to stop disrespecting me and to leave. She got very aggressive and was threatening all sorts (she’d smash my face in etc). Not proud to admit but at that point a threw water in her face but I’d just got so angry at that point. DH grabbed her, called her a cab and kicked her out.
I then started to get abusive texts from her (I’m a fucking bitch etc). DCs very upset, I’ve had to stay with them in bed and calm them - they have school tomorrow. Just awful for them!
DH has said to me to leave it and he will speak to SIL tomorrow and make her apologise and then everything will be fine again. I’ve told him she’s crossed a massive line tonight and I’ll never be around her again. He says it’s his Dsis and we have to get along. AIBU?!