to be pissed off at seeing a pregnant woman smoking yesterday?

(240 Posts)
topsi Mon 20-May-13 18:59:07

Am not sure what goes through some people's minds? WHY??

VerySmallSqueak Mon 20-May-13 19:07:59

topsi it's not easy to give up smoking,and if you get pregnant when you haven't planned it,you have no time to prepare yourself for the fact.
You don't know what's going on in her life.You don't know whether she is having a daily struggle with smoking and she has worked down from 80 a day and that is one of the last ones she'll ever smoke.

everlong Mon 20-May-13 19:08:39

OP you won't win this.

For some reason beyond me the pregnant smoker is in the right on MN.

Give up now.

topsi Mon 20-May-13 19:08:46

if I were pregnant now I wouldn't drink any alcohol as it has been proven to affect the child just like smoking has.
I wonder if she drove her small child home with out a seat belt on as I see it as the same thing, a total disregard for your child's safety and well being

twofalls Mon 20-May-13 19:11:05

I have been here 7 years everlong and I still don't get that about this place.

EglantinePrice Mon 20-May-13 19:11:22

So reading between the lines... you did drink when you were pregnant?

jacks365 Mon 20-May-13 19:11:39

Topsi excessive alcohol has been shown to affect a child but no evidence either way with low amounts and smoking MAY harm an unborn child not will.

topsi Mon 20-May-13 19:12:52

Yes and smoking MAY give you cancer

ApocalypseThen Mon 20-May-13 19:13:15

I don't think anyone likes to see this but be human. None of us are perfect. Some of us are just lucky that our vices aren't as visible.

YANBU. I hate seeing it to and I'm an ex smoker.

sunshine401 Mon 20-May-13 19:14:38

Are you aware that the stress of trying to quit is more damaging than smoking
Very true

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComposHat Mon 20-May-13 19:16:57

Why were you pissed off OP?

Would she not lend you a fag?

jacks that's not actually true, most Doctors will tell you it's perfectly safe to stop smoking cold turkey when pregnant. Linky.

But I agree with what everyone is saying about minding your own business Topsi.

I can't understand smoking while pregnant but I don't understand addiction either. It is selfish of the mother, of course it is, but addiction is hard to overcome.

MilgramsLittleHelper Mon 20-May-13 19:18:01

There is a already a substantial and growing body of evidence against smoking whilst pregnant. I think it's actually disturbing that a large body of posters have chosen to belittle the OPs opinion. So when has it been right to inflict potential damage on a unborn?, but as long as the mother has her freedom of expression that's ok? Pathetic.

Thurlow Mon 20-May-13 19:19:09

well bloody get it sorted before you decide to get pregnant and affect another humans health

Um, perhaps she wasn't TTC and so didn't have a chance to quit first and is struggling now? Thought about that? Do you really think life is that straightforward?

VerySmallSqueak Mon 20-May-13 19:19:19

Unless you have smoked you don't really understand how difficult it is to give up.

I think it is generally agreed that smoking in pregnancy isn't recommended.
I don't think you'd find the hordes on MN queueing to suggest someone starts smoking in pregnancy.

It's the judging of people who are quite possibly in full agreement that smoking in pregnancy isn't a good idea,but are struggling to give it up,that's attracting criticism.

Everyone walking past with cats bum faces ain't going to help her give up.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 20-May-13 19:19:39

I cut down on smoking but didn't give up when I was pregnant.
Sorry if that makes me some sort of evil mother.
We definitely have more knowledge nowadays towards childbirth, but fuck, at 56, and pretty healthy despite the fact that my mum did every thing wrong, I kind of feel sorry for anyone having a pregnancy these days.
They will never win.

jacks365 Mon 20-May-13 19:21:29

It is about rights though. Should the unborn baby have more rights than the mother. How far do we want the state to interfere in our lives.

I'm a non smoker by the way so I am not defending something I would do

VerySmallSqueak Mon 20-May-13 19:23:31

You see people who are dying from smoking related illnesses who can hardly draw breath sucking away madly on a fag.
If some can't give up facing the discomfort right there and then of indulging in their 'fix',surely there can be some understanding given to women who don't manage to kick the habit completely in pregnancy?

I am pretty live and let live on most stuff, on this I am vehemently judgemental. DS was transferred to another NICU 2 hours away from me on a ventilator, I thought DH was going to rugby tackle a pregnant lady's fag off her on the way in one day. There is nothing so terrifying as seeing a newborn baby unable to breathe.

twofalls Mon 20-May-13 19:26:02

To be honest the 3 pg mothers I was chatting to in the school grounds who smoke have no intention of giving up. One of them said it was because smoking gave her small babies and she liked them like that. Nice.

In all honesty if I was struggling to give up but really wanted to I probably wouldn't be walking around in public clanging them off. And I say that as an ex smoker.

I quit smoking two years ago, after countless failed attempts to cut down. The only way I managed to do it was to lock myself away for a week and avoid everyone, it was incredibly difficult. It's not easy, especially if you're going through stress like a pregnancy.

I knew a woman who was pregnant with twins who was still smoking, she knew how dangerous it was, read all the literature but still couldn't do it. Unless you've actually smoked, you don't know how difficult it is.

VerySmallSqueak Mon 20-May-13 19:27:49

They have to walk around in public twofalls because they can't smoke indoors.

ginmakesitallok Mon 20-May-13 19:28:27

Of course smoking isn't good for you or for unborn baby, but there is no evidence that smoking small numbers of cigarettes will do baby any harm.

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