to think if you have a giant rottweiler you should say so when you invite children to play?

(240 Posts)
kawliga Tue 26-Mar-13 10:10:23

Or is it up to me, whenever my daughter is invited to play with schoolfriends to ask their parents 'by the way, might you happen to have a giant rottweiler the size of a small tractor in your house'?

This was a friendly dog and dd is not frightened of dogs, but we don't have dogs ourselves so she is also not used to them. This dog, the sheer size of it, could knock a grown man over even if it's just playing. When I arrived to pick her up DD was cowering in the corner sad although later she told me she had fun playing there, so no harm done. Just feel a bit uneasy. I feel like I should have known so I could say something like 'there's a big dog there but it's friendly so don't worry' before she went there to play. AIBU?

LtEveDallas Tue 26-Mar-13 12:24:26

Ack, I've put recent study - it wasn't recent, it was in 2009.

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 26-Mar-13 12:24:58

YADNBU!

Can't get my head round people thinking yabu! Really?? How???

TheCatInTheHairnet Tue 26-Mar-13 12:30:12

I always mention we have dogs and always have the dogs gated in the kitchen when people come over for the first time. I used to be scared of dogs myself so I'm very careful not to inflict the joy of my two slobberers on everyone.

DolomitesDonkey Tue 26-Mar-13 12:31:17

YABU

Do you warn people in advance that you drive a car and might accidentally knock them down?

eavesdropping Tue 26-Mar-13 12:34:05

YANBU!!!!

I would have been so annoyed not to have been told.

I can't believe people are saying YABU - they must be selfish dog owners who can't grasp that not everybody loves dogs or feels 100% comfortable around them.

Ghanagirl Tue 26-Mar-13 12:34:35

Speaking as a former health visitor part of my job was to triage accident reports and establish accident risks in the home, falls downstairs and dog bites always cropped up frequently in children under 5. So no YANBU

Ghanagirl Tue 26-Mar-13 12:40:13

DolomitesDonkey
How is driving a car comparable to having a dog, the car is presumably under your control, whereas a Dog thinks and acts independently of you!

thezebrawearspurple Tue 26-Mar-13 12:40:35

LtEve; a chihuahua isn't capable of biting a childs face off, a rottweiler is.

Pimp; there are dogs breed specifically for their aggression, strength etc and they are capable of doing a lot of damage to a child, even if is unintentional on their part. There are lots of lovely rottweilers, pit bulls etc.. the problem is that owners ignore the damage it can do if it turns on the child. You can take that risk with your own child, you have no right to make that choice for another.

nananaps Tue 26-Mar-13 12:42:44

YANBU

I am utterly utterly terrified of dogs, my son is not, but i would need to know as my dh would have to do the collecting.
I would not cope with being in a room with a dog.

MintyyAeroEgg Tue 26-Mar-13 12:43:15

DolomitesDonkey - what on earth do you mean?

Longdistance Tue 26-Mar-13 12:45:50

Yanbu.

My bf has a chocolate lab, he's friendly but jumps up a lot needs training she always mentions it, and sends him off into garden to calm down. If he gets a bit much, she sends him out again.

Btw, I'm not keen on dogs which she knows, but controls him in my company.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Tue 26-Mar-13 12:45:53

That's the strangest analogy I've seen in a while grin

Yfronts Tue 26-Mar-13 12:45:58

If it's not a small friendly dog, then yes

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Tue 26-Mar-13 12:46:24

That was to Dolomites about the car/dog thing..

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 26-Mar-13 12:47:39

Yanbu but you will anger Mumsnets posse of dog fans by daring to speak of them as if they are not human.

MyPILS have rottys and they are always locked away when my DDs friends come over.

Yes, but if you are utterly utterly terrified of dogs, or have an allergy, is the onus not on you to be responsible for yourself and ask the question?

It's like when I was veggie, I wouldn't wait if going to someones for dinner to be asked if I eat meat, I'd say...oh, I don't eat meat, hope that's ok?

You can't ask every possible question when you have a kid over.

Longdistance Tue 26-Mar-13 12:47:57

Rubbish Dolomites. It's not comparable to that. Not everyone likes dogs....FACT!

Ghanagirl Tue 26-Mar-13 12:48:39

She's gone into hiding, explain please Dolomite, we are all waiting

FloatyBeatie Tue 26-Mar-13 12:51:26

I guess she should have mentioned she had a dog, in case the child was wary of dogs. But I wouldn't see her failure to mention it as a big deal. Every house has its own range of hazards and surprises, and if we trust a parent to have our child in their house it means we are trusting them to make a proper assessment and management of all those risks: we don't generally ask for them to be specified.

It's completely likely that the rottweiler was either shut away, or reliable around children provided that the proper level of supervision was in place. Just as the existence of an electric fire or a kettle or a bottle of bleach in the cupboard is safe if it has all been managed according to bog-standard safety procedures that we assume are in place whenever we leave our child in another house.

378 Tue 26-Mar-13 12:51:43

I don't think YABU and have now added it to my list of things to ask when my DC go to playdates - it has never occurred to me before that people wouldn't tell me if they have a dog, but clearly lots of people on here think it is unnecessary and I would definitely want to know so I can ask them to ensure it is kept separate from DC if indeed I then allowed them to go without me

PimpMyHippo Tue 26-Mar-13 12:52:06

That's a really interesting list, LtEve - do you have the link to the rest of the study? I am very surprised by Cocker spaniels and Great Danes being on there - the rest I'm not so surprised by, especially if it was taking aggression towards other dogs into account too.

FWIW, I handle strange dogs every day in my job and have been snapped at a few times. They were: a Jack Russell, two Chihuahuas, a pug and a Yorkie. We do have a couple of German Shepherd clients that are muzzled for handling, and a Staffie that's muzzled in the waiting room because it doesn't like other dogs, so it's not just little ones, but that just happens to be my list.

elastamum Tue 26-Mar-13 12:52:58

YANBU. IMO it is polite to tell parents you have dogs and check the DC are not scared of them. I have 3 soppy labradoodles, but they are big dogs and not everyone loves them.

I always shut them away when vistors who dont know them arrive. Usually, even the more timid children are quite happily playing with them by the time the parents come to pick them up smile

elastamum Tue 26-Mar-13 12:54:03

Mind you we also have a river round our garden and it never occurs to me to ask if the DC can swim confused

BlueSkySunnyDay Tue 26-Mar-13 12:59:07

I was reluctant to have children over when mine were young as - not everyone likes other peoples children.....FACT grin

On the rare occasions we did invite I made sure to mention (a) that we had a dog and ask (b) was the child scared or nervous.

I have to say though, much as I appreciate not everyone likes dogs people who are really scared of them have no place in my home - I cant bear creepy rabbits or cats but I wouldnt make an issue of it.

I think the whole "child was cowering in a corner" is possibly you projecting your fears a bit op. The better time a child has on a play date, the less likely it is to be waiting for collection in the hallway.

Floggingmolly Tue 26-Mar-13 13:01:38

Did your dd say she was bothered by the dog? There's a vast difference between not standing in the hallway awaiting your arrival and cowering in a corner.

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