Fairy Tale of --New York-- Mumsnet

(141 Posts)

Fairy tale of –New York-- Mumsnet

It was Christmas Eve babe
Here on mumsnet
A poster whinged to me
There’s mumsnet royalty
And then we posted stuff
Into A-I-B-U
I logged onto my phone
And trolled about poo.

So often I’m logged on
I may neglect my son
I’ve started to suspect
I’m not the only one
So Happy Christmas
I love you Mumsnet
I can see another year
When I hang out here…

They’ve got threads that take off
They’ve got threads that just fail
But the worst ones for fighting
Link to Daily Mail
When you first flamed my arse
In a mega bun-fight
You said I’d get mentioned
By damned Matthew Wright

We’re vipers
We’re swearers
You’d best all beware us
When the thread hit one-thousand
We started anew
In chat they got lairy
All the trolls were quite hairy
and sometimes its scary
In AIBU

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

You’re a knob
You’re a grunt
You’re an atrocious cunt
Now its message deleted but you know I’m right
You credulous reader
You mad troll believer
Yes Its Christmas I know
But dear god you’re so PO

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

I’m just a knackered Mum
I’m not the only one
I lost a chunk of me
When I gave birth you see
And though I love my child
That moment they first smiled
I like to spend a while
where I can swear without you.

And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.

grin excellent

KenDoddsDadsDog Mon 24-Dec-12 15:42:00

Class!!

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Mon 24-Dec-12 15:43:57

Brilliant! grin

Bearandcub Mon 24-Dec-12 15:45:31

Brilliant! grin

Bearandcub Mon 24-Dec-12 15:49:21

I'm giving you all a standing ovation here, DS2 is clapping and DS1 is confused.

If I showed this to my DH, I'd get a confused face as well, but I've given up trying to explain MN to him.

EmpressOfTheNorthPole Mon 24-Dec-12 16:27:24

OliviaMumsnet wrote this in honour of StateOfConfusion's new baby.

The Twelve Days of Mumsnet
On the twelfth day of Mumsnet, my true love gave to me: <deep breath>

12 Mothers chatting [gin]
11 Knitters knitting
10 Folk a-shopping
9 Ladies birthing
8 Boobs a-milking
7 Trolls a-flouncing
6 Techs a-tweaking
5 Bun Fights
4 x 4s abound
3 froot shoots
2 Sausage rolls
And a Justine and a Carrie!

That's brilliant Empress smile

Oh, sorry, just noticed it was OliviaMumsnet - A lady of many talents wink.

MorrisZapp Mon 24-Dec-12 18:34:38

Genuinely, truly good. Keema, you are talented! x

SarahStratton Mon 24-Dec-12 19:10:21

But dear god you’re so PO

grin grin grin

JellicleCat Mon 24-Dec-12 19:14:39

Brilliant grin

HeadlessChristmasLambrini Mon 24-Dec-12 19:22:14

fab-u-lous, fantastic, bloody brill grin

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Mon 24-Dec-12 19:23:33

Not a carol but a couple of weeks ago another poster and I came up with this (on this thread):

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring .... except for a zombie mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But the zombie mouse would give everyone a scare!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Little did they know of zombie mice (some without heads!),
And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled our BRAAAAIIIIINNS for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to mislaid limbs below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Hoards of undead rodents who were drawing near

With a little old mouse so in need of some Vicks,
I knew in a moment it must be very sick.
More rapid than eagles these rodents they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Rotten! Now, Rancid! Now, Poorly and Itching!
On, Three Legs! On, One Eye! On Mouldy and Twitching!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now lurch away! Lurch away! Lurch away all!"

Sunnywithachanceofjinglebells Mon 24-Dec-12 19:27:27

<applause>

This is why I luffs MN. Happy Christmas!

OliviaPeaceOnMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 24-Dec-12 19:39:12

Reposted with original links:

<<clears throat>>

The Twelve Days of Mumsnet
On the twelfth day of Mumsnet, my true love gave to me: <deep breath>

12 Mothers chatting wine brew [gin]
11 Knitters knitting flowers
10 Folk a-shopping
9 Ladies birthing
8 Boobs a-milking
7 Trolls a-flouncing hmm
6 Techs a-tweaking
5 Bun Fights biscuit
4 x 4s abound wink
3 froot shoots
2 Sausage rolls
And a Justine and a Carrie!
grin

Peace and love this Christmas from all at MNHQ

grin

BOFingSanta Mon 24-Dec-12 19:40:17

grin

And to you too, Olivia xx

Dillydollydaydream Mon 24-Dec-12 19:45:52

Ha! That's great grin

EchoBitch Mon 24-Dec-12 20:15:37

Bun fights biscuit?

Nowt better than a good,clean bun fight.

<<chucks rock cake into the mix>> grin

Love it even more with all of the links, Olivia. grin

Peace, love and reasonable behaviour to you all.

TheJoyful braiiiiiiiiiiiiiinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

EmpressOfTheNorthPole Mon 24-Dec-12 20:43:21

Thank you Olivia grin

I couldn't do the original links on my phone.

We really do need a Mumsnet Songbook.

thixotropic Mon 24-Dec-12 20:59:13

Pmsl @ fitting atrociouscunt into that

Pure.fucking.--evil--genius

Mumsnet wouldn't be Mumsnet without an atrocious cunt in it. smile

HollyDayzacummin Mon 24-Dec-12 21:19:39

I love this. Fabulous...xx
Merry Christmas 'ye arsholes'...sorry...felt the need to make a nod to the homage original smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now