i know i can't dictate who posts and what they say, but i would LIKE only tips and support please - we ARE starting controlled crying with ds2 (6mo)

[Tutter]

this is the age we used the method with ds1 and it worked really well - 3 nights and we've hardly had a bad night since (he's 2.7yo) (early wakings excepted)

ds2 is a shocking sleeper. we've tried anything and everything. shh-pat worked for a week or so. we're now back to square 1

we are comfortable with using cc now he's 6mo. i know many of you think it's plain wrong, btu it's the decision we've made

ds2 and i are decamping to a spare room tonight (far from ds1) so i will be in the same room as him

i plan to go to the cot after 5 mins and just make shh-ing noises and rub his back. is that right - can't remmber what is suggested - is the back rub too much intervention?

[Misdee]

i dunno, havent done it with a six month old, but i think i cried as much as dd3 when i did it when she was about 18months old. she was in my room, in a cot next to my bed, and i remember rubbing her back and making shhhh noises a lot. but i think i forgot it all in a sleep deprieved haze.

goood luck

[cornsilk]

I did it with ds 2. Started from 1 min and worked up gradually. I tucked the covers around him and made shhing noises.

[charliemama]

Goodluck Tutter. I will be watching this with interest. DS2 is also 6 months and also a shocking sleeper. He is teething at the mo, but I may well be joining you when he is over that. Do you want to be my cc buddy?

[seeker]

I know I should step away from this thread - qand I know you only want posts which agree with you, but if you are so sure you're doing the right thing why are you posting on here? Honestly - even the guy who came up with controlled crying says not before 12 months.

[Tutter]

er, because as it says in the title, i'd like tips and support

[Cappuccino]

can't see problem with a back rub I think the point is that you don't take him wandering round the house

I even picked them up tbh if they were very upset; and I talked to them; and made eye contact, and all the kind of things you are told not to do

actually there is a thread last night where I was doing it to dd2 (3) - see me turn from resolute to pathetic during it

I think with a 6 month old I would probably start off in their room - I remember doing gradual withdrawal with dd1, where you sat in their room and then night by night moved further away so in a day or two you were sat outside the door

but you must do what you think is right and I think controlled crying is a perfectly reasonable way of settling a child as long as you pop in regularly like you are suggesting

[gegs73]

Hi Tutter, I just wanted to say I support you! Having a bad nights sleep and trying to get through the day/evening with two children is atrocious. I hope CC works quickly for you.

[WanderingTrolley]

Tutter, I've done this with slightly older babies - from 10+months.

For the first quarter hour or so, I go in every 2 minutes. I lie the baby down if it's standing, makes soothing noises, am v gentle and quiet (and boring!) I find the baby tends to calm down a bit when I appear, then is furious again when I go.

I tend to use the same phrase everytime I go in - just to say 'Night night, darling' or 'time to sleep.' I just sort of mutter it under my breath.

I think it's key to do the same thing everytime you go in, and for the same length of time.

Then I move up to 3 minutes for about the next 15 minutes and so on. I don't like to leave longer than 10 minutes before going in.

Some babies get very hot and sweaty, so you might want to think about having the room a bit cooler, or putting him in summer sleepwear.

I'm not sure what to suggest about you being in the same room - I've never done that.

Not sure if this is of any help to you, but good luck. I'll be interested to see how you get on.

[Tutter]

how did it go in the end capp?

i think he may be unaware that i'm in the same room as him tbh

am doing it partly because i know i'll be so tired that i won't wan to have to go far each 5 mins, and partly as a noise containment measure (boy can he shout)

after a couple of nights i can move to another room if nec

[smartiejake]

I did it with both of my dds at about 6-8 months as they went through bad patches with their sleeping at this age.

I found it very hard for the first night as it took 3 and a half hours of going in every 5 mins then 10, 15, 20 and then back to 5mins and round again.

HV told me not to pick up baby, not to make eye contact and just stroke her tummy making sh, sh sounds. When they quieten leave the room and don't return for next contact until the correct time even if they scream as you are walking out the door.
With my 2 the second night was a vast improvement (took about 20/30 mins and the third night - nothing. I know some mums don't agree with it but it worked for me.Good luck.

[Tutter]

i wonder if i should make the effort to put us in separate rooms from the start - that's what we did with ds1

i hope he doesn't get confused with bein in diff rooms for daytime naps and nighttime - i don't want to do cc in his own rooma t night bceasue ds1 is right next door

but the room i'm planni on putting him in at night is quite light, might not be great for daytime naps as he';s used to a really dark room

[PerkinWarbeck]

Right, all that stuff about Ferber saying not doing CC before 6 mo is bolleaux.

You need to be sure your ds is ready, which is a very different matter.

We did CC on DD at 6.5 mo. She had stopped feeding at in the night, but was still waking 4 million times. We knew she wasn;t hungry or teething. we went cold turkey with ditching the dummy and swaddle at the same time.

It worked for us.

Get wine, chocs and trashy reading material (you want heat magazine, not Tristram Shandy here). Prepare for a loooong night, and if you don't get it then that's a bonus.

we went in at the following intervals:
2,3,5,7,10,15. We didn't pick DD up, but made soothing noises and cuddled her as she lay in the cot. Longest crying spell was just over an hour at 4am on day 1.

Night wakings eliminated in 3-4 days if I remember rightly, and no extended spells of crying (more than 10mins) after day 3.

[PerkinWarbeck]

I forgot - good luck! It's horrid, but only briefly so, and worth it for all. My dd was so much sunnier in the day after an unbroken night's sleep.

[Bodkin]

Good luck Tutter - I'd like to offer my wholehearted support. I did sleep training with my DD1 when she was about 7 months and it worked a treat. I did find that the more I went in and soothed and shushed, the worse she cried...and it seemed to prolong the crying. In the end I would just stick my nose round the door to check she wasn't stuck in the bars or anything, but basically leave her to it. It took about 45 the first night, 20 mins the 2nd and slept through the third.

I like Cote D'Azur's mantra "A full night's sleep awaits you on the other side"

With my DD2 (who is also 6 months) she is not doing too badly (waking for a feed at about 4am) but I wouldn't mind a full night's sleep, it has to be said

[Sushipaws]

I'm watching with interest.

I'm doing cc now, it's not going very well, dd (9 months) keeps having a poo when we're about 25 minutes in. Last night was the 5th night, nights 1 and 2 were great, 3,4 & 5 have been awful.
We're doing the 5, 10, 15 minutes but as soon as I leave the room she starts to shout and stands up. She never goes back down on her own and only falls asleep when I lay her down and rub her back.

Good Luck, hope it goes better for you.

[Tutter]

thanks

ok have decided to put us in separate rooms

otherwise i know what'll happen - i'll just have got ds2 to sleep when ds1 will come crashing in to see me when dh goes to work at 6:30

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[Tutter]

he starts the night in his own room cod

most nights ends up in our room (but ina cot) due to excessive squarking (sp.?)

naps in his own room

[Tutter]

so tonight there will be Mulitple Room Usage in the tutterhole

dh inour room
ds1 in his

ds2 in spare room 1
me in spare room 2, poised to gt to ds2

(first 2 rooms some way from other two rooms)

[Tutter]

we're in the midst of it now for a nap

he puked after crying l;oads. instead of quietly cleanign it up, dh put the light on and bellowed for me

[PerkinWarbeck]

Sounds rough

I did CC for naps as well, and found naps were the worst bit.

Nights a breeze in comparision.

My DH was vg at this CC business. Do you want to swap for the duration?

[notnowbernard]

Hang on in there... 'tis shite atm but remember how utterly fabulous it will be once he is (very soon) sleeping through.

Sympathies, have been there

[Tutter]

ds2 now asleep

i was downstairs with ds imagiungin ds2 bawling his eyes out and puking again

wen upstairs to find that ds2 asleep and dh takjing advatgae by lying down watching tv

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

[Pannacotta]

Would you read up on it before embarking on i?