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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
worriedandannoyed · 04/02/2023 11:45

Oh this sounds really stressful. I'd definitely ring him, or can see if your friend can find him again and take a photo?

Christmaspyjamas · 04/02/2023 11:47

I'd call him.now. you'll be able to tell where he is.

Ask your friend what he was wearing. If it's clothes not in your house but which you know he owns....there you go.

Could also go to golf club. Take kids for lunch in clubhouse text him tell you are all there to see him.

JollyJolene · 04/02/2023 11:47

Oh gosh. Did she give you anymore details? Was it definitely him? Do you have each other on ‘find my iPhone’ (or similar)?

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:48

Thanks! Ok, so my friend confirmed he was wearing clothes which I know he owns! That would be too much of a coincidence hey! I feel sick! I feel shakey! I can't believe this is happening!!

OP posts:
Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:49

JollyJolene · 04/02/2023 11:47

Oh gosh. Did she give you anymore details? Was it definitely him? Do you have each other on ‘find my iPhone’ (or similar)?

Yes we do! I've just checked and he must of turned it off as it says location not found! Omg! This is looking worse isn't it. I feel sick to my stomach

OP posts:
Everybodywants · 04/02/2023 11:49

Oh OP. Which golf club does he pretend to be a member of? Head down there to surprise him for lunch, I doubt his car will be in the car park

JollyJolene · 04/02/2023 11:51

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:49

Yes we do! I've just checked and he must of turned it off as it says location not found! Omg! This is looking worse isn't it. I feel sick to my stomach

Show quote history

It might be he’s in a spot with no reception. Possible in a wooded area of a golf course, so might be worth checking back in 5/10 mins.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:51

He told me he would be back around 3pm and would I then mind him going out to watch the 6 nations with friends!! Oh god! He's seeing someone isn't he!! I've had no reason to suspect anything!! Up until now!! Do I confront or wait and watch! I think I feel too sick to wait and watch!

OP posts:
Butterflyball · 04/02/2023 11:51

Just an idea..do you have a birthday or anniversary coming up and maybe he has a female friend/ family etc so he's getting help choosing you a gift. Would be a bit stupid of him to be shopping with someone if it's an affair?

Botw1 · 04/02/2023 11:51

Yeah, I'd go to the golf course and phone and ask him to come and meet you in the car park to take the kids.

After all, everyone needs to destress so you've decided to take up your own hobby every weekend.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:52

Butterflyball · 04/02/2023 11:51

Just an idea..do you have a birthday or anniversary coming up and maybe he has a female friend/ family etc so he's getting help choosing you a gift. Would be a bit stupid of him to be shopping with someone if it's an affair?

Valentine's Day maybe? But we never celebrate that so I'm clutching at straws now

OP posts:
JollyJolene · 04/02/2023 11:54

If you know the golf club I would be tempted to drive there to see if his car is parked there. Are you able to do that? Or ask a trusted friend to?

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:54

Ok! I think this pretty much cements it!! I've just checked the garage... his golf clubs are there!

OP posts:
MistyFrequencies · 04/02/2023 11:54

Drive to the golf course. See is his car there. Even if it is ,call him to come out to you urgently (in case he left car there and went somewherr else). If his cars not there, or hes not therr, you've enough info to ask what the fuck he is at.

Botw1 · 04/02/2023 11:55

Even if he's not having an affair he's ripping the piss out of you massively

Out all day and then says he's going back out tonight?

MistyFrequencies · 04/02/2023 11:55

Botw1 · 04/02/2023 11:55

Even if he's not having an affair he's ripping the piss out of you massively

Out all day and then says he's going back out tonight?

Yeah this too.

HelpMeGetThrough · 04/02/2023 11:56

I'd message him asking why he's left his clubs at home.

Butterflyball · 04/02/2023 11:57

Well he really is thick as shit isn't he. So sorry op... hope you have a good support network around you x

Zombiemama84 · 04/02/2023 11:57

I would ask him how golf is when he’s back watch his response see if you feel like he’s hiding something. I would personally just call him out and say he was spotted in the outfit and see if he took it with him. Does he have golf clubs or does he say he borrows them from there? If it was a genuine hobby I’m sure he would have his own equipment, if he’s using it as a cover up I doubt he would have his own.

Uppingham · 04/02/2023 11:58

First, I am very sorry you’re having such a shocking morning and have so much to think about. However, for your own piece of mind you need evidence of what is going on before you do anything rash. I wouldn’t phone him. I would check online banking. I would check his phone once he is home. Check email if you can. I would also get a friend to follow him when he leaves again this evening. By the end of the day you should then have a pretty good idea of what is going on. I’m hoping it’s a misunderstanding.

Dandelionsinthegarden · 04/02/2023 11:59

I would just call him out on this. His clubs are in the garage and he's been seen! What else do you need to prove?

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 04/02/2023 12:01

It’s not a sister or someone is it? I know it all sounds very dramatic but I am sure there are other possible explanations. He would be very silly to go somewhere close to home on a Saturday morning with an affair partner, where he has a good chance of being spotted, surely?

Thethingswedoforlove · 04/02/2023 12:01

Drive to the golf club with his clubs being helpful as he clearly forgot them?

VioletaDelValle · 04/02/2023 12:02

YourGazeHitsTheSideOfMyFace · 04/02/2023 12:01

It’s not a sister or someone is it? I know it all sounds very dramatic but I am sure there are other possible explanations. He would be very silly to go somewhere close to home on a Saturday morning with an affair partner, where he has a good chance of being spotted, surely?

Considering he's not even taken his golf clubs he obviously not the brightest.

OP I think you need to phone him and tell him to come home and explain what's happening. No point game playing at this stage.

JollyJolene · 04/02/2023 12:05

As someone who has helped a friend through similar, please don’t show your hand too early. Ask him how golf was. Tell him you think you’ve dropped something belonging to the children in the car and can you have the keys to check. Try to stay calm. It might be nothing but I don’t think you’re going to get straight answers from him.