My friend ran over to ask me this morning why there was a pretty young lady in our car with my fella!

[Trio]

Im willing to accept that maybe im being a bit daft about this, BUT, i called and asked dp and he said yes, she is called Rachel, she started work there a few weeks ago and he has been picking her and giving her a lift ever since! We only have one car and up until a few weeks ago (funnily enough) i had the car most of the time as he got a lift of a friend, but suddenly he decided he needs the car all the time - hmm i wonder why that is! AND she only lives round the corner from us - why has he failed to tell me all of this? and only told me grudgingley when i asked him about it? My friend said she looked really young and pretty! im trying not to be silly about it but i have to wonder why he hasnt said anything at all about her!

[Joolstoo]

[lulumama]

is he being helpful to a new colleague who lives locally???? or am i too naive???

[CountessDracula]

Hmm I think that is odd

It wouldn't be if he had told you but the fact that he suddenly started using the car and hid the reason from you is very suspect...

[Joolstoo]

was your friend stirring it do you think?
I'd still be feeling a bit like you though if I'm honest. The young and pretty bit is irrelevant imo the fact that he failed to mention it is.

[lulumama]

have you any other cause for concern or has all been fine -

[Trio]

Well apparently thats all it is lulumama, but why have i never heard of her?

[NatalieJane]

Bloody hell it is only a lift to work...

Sorry but I don't see how it is the end of the world.

Not really aimed at the OP but there seems to be so many posts like this on MN, does no one trust their DH???

[Trio]

Maybe not NJ......

[Joolstoo]

of course but by the same token I would expect him to be open and honest with me, presumably the OP and her dh talk, would he not mention a new colleague, oh and she lives just round the corner, thought I'd give her a lift - you know, that sort of thing ......

[Rhubarb]

Nice friend you have there.

I'd tell him to inform her to make her own travel arrangements in future as you need the car from now on. And if he is keeping things from you at this stage of the relationship, I would question it all tbh.

[lulumama]

maybe (being a bloke and not thinking things through) he thought no reason to tell you as 'i didn;t want to upset/annoy /piss you off' and you'd only get cross and no reason to tell you as only a lift to work.....blokes do this all the time even when nothing to hide!

[Rhubarb]

NJ, it's the not telling her. I go by the rules that if it is innocent, the dp would say so, but men usually only hide something if they are feeling guilty about it.

Yes it is only a lift to work and if he had been upfront about it she wouldn't really have a right to complain, but how would you honestly feel if you knew your partner had been giving a pretty young thing a lift to (and possibly from) work every day and he hadn't mentioned it?

[Joolstoo]

he stopped getting his lift though hasn't he? why didn't the 3 of them share?

[WigWamBam]

Dh always tells me if he's expecting to give someone a lift ... I'd be very suspicious if I found he was doing this and hadn't told me.

Although I'd also be a bit suspicious of someone who was so keen to run over and tell me what she'd seen.

[lulumama]

if i trusted my husband implicitly i wouldn't think any more of it than he was an idiot to not tell me - that automatically makes it more of a big deal -

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

I wouldnt like it. Would be very suspicious.

[NatalieJane]

Sorry, but I don't see why him giving someone a lift to work causes concern.

Maybe the fact that he didn't tell you about it, and you have reacted the way you have since finding out, says more about your relationship than you would care to admit?

[brimfull]

I would be suspicious aswell.

[hub2dee]

Bloke gut instinct: He hasn't done anything but he fancies her. Up to you how you want to handle it. I wouldn't necessarily suggest going in guns blazing as NJ says, it is only a lift to work IYSWIM, but it's the fact that he didn't tell you abou this new person who works at the same place and lives round the corner etc. etc. dh is probably only being reticient because he's been busted LOL

[NatalieJane]

Rhubarb, I wouldn't give two hoots if my DH was giving someone a lift to work, if he told me about it or not.

[YellowFeathers]

Sorry but that sounds a bit suss to me. I'd be pretty cross if my dh was doing this and not telling me. I know its only a lift but why not mention it?

I think you friend must be concerned and maybe was trying to make it easier to tell you.
If I saw a friends dh in a car with a young pretty twenty something, I'd do exactly the same.

[Northerner]

If he had told you would yuo have been totally fine about it or would you have been a nit funny with him?

Maybe it's totally innocent and he didn't tell you because he didn't want any hassle?

[YellowFeathers]

and sorry again but I agree with all of what Hub2Dee has just said.

[Pinotmum]

I once tempted in an office where one of the married men offered me a lift as he lived near me. I wasn't happy to accept his offer but did and it was obvious he had something other than a lift on his mind. I made my excuses and took the train until my temp position expired. I personally wouldn't be happy if my dh did this especially if he has just started needing the car.

[Rhubarb]

Suggest that you all pop over to hers sometime to say hello! This should mortify him!