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Met guy online 6 months ago....

(229 Posts)
LittleLadyFooFoo Tue 24-Jun-14 20:43:27

...and I've just seen he has activated his profile yesterday! He's been online last night after he told me he was having an early night.
We have been together for 6 months exclusively. As far as I was concerned, everything was great. He's loving, caring, affectionate...and I thought honest and trustworthy.
He will be calling me tonight. How do I broach the subject that I saw him online dating?
(Reason I saw him was my friend is online dating on the same site, and she was showing me her profile and messages. That's when I saw him online. Was a real shock).
Any advice as to what to say to him is welcome. Thanks.

LittleLadyFooFoo Wed 25-Jun-14 21:25:12

Ok...I've viewed him...I await with baited breath!

LittleLadyFooFoo Wed 25-Jun-14 21:25:58

I've tried calling him but he's not answering his phone.

MaryShelley Wed 25-Jun-14 21:26:09

Don't try and 'trick' him with a fake profile.

If you want a mature and honest relationship just have an adult discussion about it. Honestly, don't over complicate and make a drama out of this.

cozietoesie Wed 25-Jun-14 21:27:40

I wouldn't contact him through the site. Just ask him outright - he'll be in touch sooner or later.

Only1scoop Wed 25-Jun-14 21:29:35

I would also ask him outright. Face to face though ....less easy for him to hide any lies....or get cut off etc....

TalisaMaegyr Wed 25-Jun-14 21:30:00

No, I know it's tempting, but wait until you can speak to him face to face. Easier said than done, I know.

Only1scoop Wed 25-Jun-14 21:31:51

You can also see how 'active' he is in the meantime....

LittleLadyFooFoo Wed 25-Jun-14 21:33:18

Ok....I shall wait till I see him. I'm better when I'm face to face. I'm just so angry and upset too. He knows what my ex partner put me through and I don't need this knock to my confidence.
Thanks everyone. I will keep you up to date.

scottishmummy Wed 25-Jun-14 21:35:40

Its a conversation to have face to face,maybe he wants you and bit on side

Only1scoop Wed 25-Jun-14 21:36:05

Op I understand years ago the same happened to me. It's horrible. I know it's hard but don't let on you know until you see him. If he recognises your friend he will be forewarned anyway I guess.

brdgrl Wed 25-Jun-14 21:38:54

There's really no reason he can give that will make this OK, though, is there?
I'm sorry. He's a shitty coward, I suspect.

cozietoesie Wed 25-Jun-14 21:41:08

Best arrange for the next time you see him to be in some 'third party' place (eg a restaurant or bar) where you can walk away if you want. In either of your houses wouldn't be such a good idea - particularly if it was yours.

SweetsForMySweet Wed 25-Jun-14 21:44:16

I'm sorry but I think it is a big redflag. He is saying he is being exclusive with you but is actively using online dating websites. If he doesn't see anything wrong with this, he probably wouldn't think anything of cheating on you in the future. If he was only checking old messages, he would not be on there every night for hours. It will be interesting to see if he responds to your fake profile. Don't invest too much emotion into this Op, go with your gut and protect yourself.

LittleLadyFooFoo Wed 25-Jun-14 21:44:29

He viewed me but no reply.
Shall just wait. Tbh, no one else will probably put up with his neediness.
I have lost faith again :-(

Rachie1986 Wed 25-Jun-14 21:46:49

Sorry you aren't getting anywhere. Thinking of you xx

LittleLadyFooFoo Wed 25-Jun-14 21:48:31

Ok...he has just text me with a how was your day at work kind of text....as if nothing is wrong. Arggghhhh.

scottishmummy Wed 25-Jun-14 21:48:38

If hes needy whats the appeal?6 mth,you can walk away easily
If you want to
Stop saving or befriending needy men

brdgrl Wed 25-Jun-14 21:49:42

LittleLady, don't lose faith...this isn't about you or about all men...it's about one prat.

scottishmummy Wed 25-Jun-14 21:51:24

No faith required,its not religion its online dating
op Best avoid the needy ones if you have propensity for complicated men

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey Wed 25-Jun-14 21:52:43

I think you know your answer. sad

I met some one online - he too turned out to be a cock

Only1scoop Wed 25-Jun-14 22:08:52

Neeedy eeeeuuuu

What a turn off.

Think he may have done you a favour in the long run.

Next

Fruityb Wed 25-Jun-14 22:17:46

Was going to say sometimes those websites show inactive profiles as active; I remember when I used match how many it said we're active but as soon as you signed up properly they displeased!

However this explanation may have already been foiled. I do think you should just talk rather than using a fake profile. Are you sure it's him using it and it's not someone else using it to look around like a friend of his? There could be an innocent explanation.

Tinks42 Wed 25-Jun-14 22:19:01

OP you have your answer loud and clear. He has the opportunity as in working away during the week, plenty of time to go on line then huh. If I were you I'd just not answer his calls ever again. What for? So you can cry and tell him you thought you had a relationship, so you can vent and give him the excuse of calling you a nutter. It sucks of course and I really do feel for you. You were his "sometimes" weekend girl.

Cry to your friends, do not ever speak to him again. Block and delete.

Tinks42 Wed 25-Jun-14 22:20:23

By the way he's not needy at all, he's a player and good at sucking people in.

scottishmummy Wed 25-Jun-14 22:33:12

Op stop rescuing needy men,its unnecessary.and hes suckered you in
Needy?more like horny and online looking for lassies
Anyho,6 mth in.no great loss

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