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anyone else in a poly relationship?

(400 Posts)
cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 17:46:38

new to it all and fancied a chat with people who have btdt!

MorrisZapp Mon 31-Mar-14 17:47:44

Yup.

I've been shagging my parrot for years.

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 17:48:52

just the one though? :P

Bitofkipper Mon 31-Mar-14 17:58:13

After some other threads on here today it's nice that this one made me (and DH) burst out laughing.

usualsuspectt Mon 31-Mar-14 17:59:25

grin at parrot shagging

No, but I wrote my thesis on them and met some fascinating people many moons ago!

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 18:01:52

glad it raised a smile bitofkipper grin

i possibly need a more specialist forum, but hey ho. it was easier to just name change on this one!

Bitofkipper Mon 31-Mar-14 18:25:56

Sorry OP, hope I didn't offend you; it wasn't your post that made me laugh. Let's hope that someone more helpful comes along soon.
You sound nice and easy going; necessary requirements I would think.

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 18:28:47

not at all offended, i'd have let you know if i was!

Golferman Mon 31-Mar-14 18:28:49

My wife and I have an open marriage (been together 41 years) and we are swingers. So I guess we do.

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 18:30:06

to be honest i'm a teeny bit surprised no-one has called troll yet grin

i'm not btw! this is utterly genuine. I just want to chat about it because I'm not quite ready to be open with RL people about it but I feel like I want to discuss bits and pieces with other people in similar situations

EyelinerQueen Mon 31-Mar-14 18:39:42

Oh just give it time cakey wink .

I'm not poly but am interested in the whole subject of non-monogamy.

I'm not sure you'll get too many responses on here. I'm willing to bet there are more welcoming and open-minded corners of the internet than MN Relationships grin .

Anniegetyourgun Mon 31-Mar-14 18:46:07

Yes, I think what we specialise in here is more the kind of relationship that one partner fondly believed was exclusive.

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 18:46:59

you are probably right eyelinerqueen. i'm being lazy and not seeking them out lol

StickEmUpSideWays Mon 31-Mar-14 18:48:46

Whats poly mean

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 18:51:19

polyamorous, in a relationship with more than one partner.

actually i only have one partner, but he has more

maras2 Mon 31-Mar-14 18:51:28

Cheating.

Shesparkles Mon 31-Mar-14 18:53:40

How can it be cheating when all partners fully understand and are in agreement with the situation?

BitsinTatters Mon 31-Mar-14 18:53:53

It's not cheating if all the parties are aware and consenting.

I know of 1 poly relationship. It works for them.

StickEmUpSideWays Mon 31-Mar-14 18:54:20

I see. Well use condoms innit and thats all good.

tribpot Mon 31-Mar-14 19:07:00

Is polyamory different from an open relationship? I had always assumed it was, e.g. the three or four (or whatever) of you are in a committed relationship with each other, live together, only sleep with each other, etc. The only person I know who's been in an open relationship would have characterised the other sexual partners as just that - about sex, not love. Not to say they couldn't also be friends, but he would not have described himself as being in a relationship with the other people, only his girlfriend.

maras2 Mon 31-Mar-14 19:08:45

So no one ever gets hurt ? Right.

QueenAnneofAustria Mon 31-Mar-14 19:11:22

I am not and am unlikely to be honest, however I think it is a very interesting decision and would like to hear what others say.

cakeymccakington Mon 31-Mar-14 19:11:30

yes, it's different from an open relationship or just having fuck buddies.
we don't all live together though.

good communication is key, and boundaries set out early. i'm sure people get hurt just like they can in a monogamous relationship.
but no-one is going to get hurt by suddenly finding out their partner is cheating on them for example... we all know what's going on and we're all happy with it.

EyelinerQueen Mon 31-Mar-14 19:13:10

maras Are you serious?? Because monogamous relationships never lead to anyone getting hurt eh hmm

I think you're right trib.

Polyamory is people having more than one partner at a time and the relationships aren't just sexual. Everyone living together isn't the norm (unless you live in Utah) though.

I couldn't do that. I have all my emotional needs met by my DP and he by me.

But I do see the appeal of an open relationship where you have that one proper relationship but the freedom to have sex outside of that relationship on a casual basis.

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