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ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Travelling Far And Wide, With Sobriety In Mind.(1001 Posts)
Welcome to the Bus one and all! I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes
We have a new line that we're taking with us on every journey, thanks to one of our wonderful Babes, Curry -
Alcohol Fosters Inertia.
So when you're drinking excessively, nothing changes, or improves, the sharp edges of our lives just becomes that little bit less in focus, blurred and all you feel is numb. Then like shit (emotionally, as well as physically) if you're honest! Who wants that?
You are only ever better/pacified/happy whilst the alcohol is in your system. And that doesn't last........... it's not a cure, it's a quick fix. A sticking plaster.
So, if you think you're drinking too much, and want some friendly advice, or just to come and have a chat, get to know others who are just like you, who won't judge or criticise you, then hop on board!
We're a really mixed bunch and all at different stages of our journey to find sobriety or certainly drinking in a more controlled, less dangerous way.
And, if you'd like to see where we've been so far, have a look at the links below
THE STARTING POINT AND WHY WE'RE ALL HERE
Hello, for now, we're still over on this thread - HERE until it's full.
See you over there
my self pitying is lifting slightly.
I will still drink
Thanks mouse and all for those much needed words of wisdom I know it comes from the heart with you all cos you have all been there or maybe are still there.
Im aiming for damage limitation today, off to pick up dd2 in a min, Have bought pretty low strength alcohol 2.8% larger but have got six! will try not to have them all. But if I am honest I know I will.
Im stopping again tomorrow, I am! I have to! this is shit! and its not getting me anywhere!
Mouse what triggered it you ask. Well I cant blame anyone/thing for this addiction really I know but I think its the sheer, bloody loneliness I feel. Am surrounded by people really I work nearly full time, I have got some lovely friends. Im close to my mom. Its the fact that I cant talk to nsdp, I have told him its over, he says fine but its never that simple is it?
We share a daughter, I guess I feel I have failed again in a relationship that I never thought would end. I loved this man deeply. But no longer and of course I am scared of being alone but not as scared as the thought of being with him for the next twenty/thirty years.
Jango - I've C&P'd your post to the OTHER thread that's still live. We're over there until it's full, hope that's okay sweetheart. I'll answer you there xxx
My heart really goes out to thisis and jango, you sound so sad and tired of the drinking. Keep reading and sharing and posting, you're not alone at all. x
Alcohol is highly addictive, for some people that first drink starts the craving that leads to the other umpty billion drinks, that's what being an alcoholic is really. I'm not a bad person but I'm not in control if I choose to drink. These days I don't drink.
I go to aa because I enjoy meetings, I have friends who I can say anything to and they will just listen. Same as the bus.When I first started to go to aa I went so that I wouldn't drink that evening and because people were kind and friendly even though I was a mess.It's stayed that way except I don't even want to drink now. Previous to that I drank for 20 years, just naice amounts of wine every night and as many parties as I could manage.
I was an extremely unhappy and lonely woman when I joined the bus last year. Sitting indoors drinking is an isolating experience and I was very disassociated from my feelings. With help of the bus and aa I stopped drinking and began to find out what my feelings were, some of these were extremely painful. I thought about abuse in childhood and my mother's ongoing mental illness which had left me resentful and angry for most of my life.
Once I had stopped drinking I was able to tackle these feelings- with MASSIVE amounts of help from the bus and aa. I have spoken about the abuse and taken the power away (and will never see my father again as long as I live), I've accepted that my mother is ill and unhappy most of the time. I'm ok with that now and I can see that she does love me in her own capacity. I'm no longer anxious. I can detach from crazy things that happen at work or with friends- they aren't in my control so I just stop worrying about them and let go.I get on well with my husband who has put up with my drinking for years on end.
So, my point is this: I'm a very grateful recovering alcoholic. I've been relieved from a massive burden of anger and fear. If I can manage it then anyone can, with some help from the bus / aa/ any RL support. I intend to go to meetings from the rest of my life so that I won't be tempted to drink again. I'm a very happy person now.
If you feel you have got near to that rock bottom level then please,please look for as much help as you can get.
So many of these posts really hit home. I also drink because I am lonely and unhappy which makes me more lonely and unhappy. Day1 now after feeling crap all day! It should have been a very happy day as dd special birthday but im so low just now.
Ok update managed to go swimming and do 25 lengths feeling tired so will hopefully sleep well and feel a bit better tomorrow thanks for everyone's support today couldn't of got through today without it only wish I had you all on speed dile x
Sorry, but can you keep posting these messages on the LIVE thread, this is put up ready for when it runs out, I'm sorry to sound arsey, I'm not, it's just that we get new posters wanting to join an unmanned thread at times.......
It's STILL HERE AND LIVE
Please mark your place by all means but can you post there for now?
Thank you xxx
guggen great post, you are quite fabulous my friend. thisis we are here for you, swimming has helped me too, I bought a waterproof iPod case and headphones and they are brilliant,I just swim up and down to my favourite chill out music and I feel relaxed and cleansed by the time I leave, also the gentle excercise releases all those lovely endorphins that replace the wine sensation, most of all I feel good about myself for making the effort and sleep like a log. Well done you x x x
Just marking my place here.
I agree with baby - swimming is fabulous and I think very good for us, somehow, because it is gentle enough exercise that you don't get that fatal sugar low that can make you reach for the wine. Or that seems to be it for me.
gugg - for writing that, your post was just what I needed to read right now. Might I ask you about AA later on?
I've just been to my GP today, and among other things have a recommendation to self-refer to some kind of alcoholics thing. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but will see how it goes.
Evening Brave Babe xxx
lots of lovely inspirational words x. keep on Keeping on all x
It would seem that I posted the new thread too soon in a panic not to run out of support whilst I was out today, I'm sorry for telling you all where to post replies etc....
Ignore BossyMouse, she's buggered off!
I'm watching White Chapel and a line that I thought was very fitting for us was - The vulnerable need our support, not our judgement
And on that note, now we're all on one thread (hopefully) I shall report in on how my Big Fish gets on tomorrow at his very first FULL DAY in school
I hope that This and Jango are feeling a little more human tonight, no matter what. Love to you both. We're here for you xxx
Night all, stay safe.
mouse, I know you've gone now but when you see this tomorrow - how is Nemo doing? Enjoying school?
Nite nite all on to tomorrow!
Ah, here you all are.
<hoists Barry on board and collapses onto seat>
Drinking again tonight for no other reason than I want to.
Too those in despair and self hatred - tomorrow is another day, Again!
I meant to post big hug and best wishes to nemo but ds started to bounce round like the crazy boy he is : )
baby I am soooo pleased for you. Reading that you have got to 30 days and are still going makes me very happy indeed.
LRD any time, lovely.
lonnika hope it all goes a bit better tomorrow- whatever was bothering you.
Going to be hot,hot,hot tomorrow.
LRD - He's doing GREAT! So much so that he wants to do a full day tomorrow and be just like his friend!
It's brilliant and I am so very, very proud of him. So proud. I could burst! Thank you for asking lovely, hope you are okay. xxx
I really am buggering off now. xxx
Ma - just Hugs..... because. xxx
Guggs - thank you xxx
<slaps self and drags away from PC>
I AM GOING TO BED!!! xxx
Well what a long and gruelling day couldn't of got through it sober without this bus. I don't ever want to feel like this again hope tomorrow if better hugs and love to you all and thanks xx
Oh, that is so good to read.
No wonder you are proud. I'm sure when he's bigger he will be proud of you, as well - I know I don't know what you've done, but from this thread I've some sense of it and I think you're amazing.
Night night. xx
Well done this night night babes x
Drinking tonight, I planned to as it was dd1's birthday so provided I don't go overboard I'm not going to beat myself up about it. If I do then I will have to rethink controlled drinking.
Thanks Guggs had a heck of a week x
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