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He just disappeared after 6 months........I feel such a plonker

(174 Posts)
Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:35:46

Been with 'd'p for around 6 months. Very passionate and intense relationship then two weeks ago, he texted in the morning to say " morning gorgeous, I love you and miss you so much. I texted back on his normal number but came up unobtainable.

He lives about 40 miles away, difficult to just pop round as have a toddler and I work pt. I tried calling his mobile but still " the number you have called has not been recognised" I left a message on his landline but nothing. This was two weeks ago and haven't heard anything.

I feel such a plonker and I'd lent him money too. I was just another notch sad

Just wanted a rant.....we had a termination in April this yr as condom split and failed MAP . I just feel so angry....with everything sad I've been used big time sad

cozietoesie Wed 26-Jun-13 22:39:01

Do you actually know he's still around and OK, Pink ? That sounds incredibly abrupt.

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 22:39:10

??????????? Where could he have gone?! And why would he text that??

waddlecakes Wed 26-Jun-13 22:40:54

Actually it's almost...worrying? What sort of person is he OP? What's he like in general, what does he do?

Myliferocks Wed 26-Jun-13 22:42:14

Is there a friend or relative of his that you could contact?
It does seem very strange.

imademarion Wed 26-Jun-13 22:42:45

So sorry to hear this, you must feel awful. Assuming he hasn't been bumped off or kidnapped, it will be hard to just accept the decision without agonising over what you did wrong and why he couldn't just at like a civilised human being and discuss his sudden change of heart maturely.

Hope you didn't lend him too much money. If you did, a solicitor and private detective could approach him on your behalf as he clearly doesn't deserve the courtesy of your time.

What a coward. I hope within the next year you meet a belter who spoils you rotten, gives you a rip roaring time and sticks around till you've had enough.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:43:29

I know, I'm at a loss. No arguments or anything before hand.

I called his work ( paramedic) and they wouldn't tell me if he was on duty or not just to call his personal number.

It's the not knowing that's odd. I expect I've been dumped for another woman . We always said we'd be honest about everything with each other so I'm at a real loss sad

NameThatTuna Wed 26-Jun-13 22:44:32

When did you lend him the money? Was it just before he disappeared?

It does sound odd!

WhoNickedMyName Wed 26-Jun-13 22:45:08

Are you not concerned that he's had a terrible accident or something?

How much did you lend him? I took my ex to court for money he owed, very glad I did, worth doing if it's a lot.

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:45:52

Thank you for your replays. I haven't any contacts for his friends / family.

cozietoesie Wed 26-Jun-13 22:46:00

When would you get a 'number not recognised' on a mobile? I'm not that techy but I woud have thought that even with a damaged phone or sim, the account with the provider would still be valid and it would be a different message?

NameThatTuna Wed 26-Jun-13 22:46:06

Are you absolutely sure he was single?

BerylStreep Wed 26-Jun-13 22:47:14

Not sure what words if comfort will work, but it's a horrible situation.

I had an abrupt ending of a very passionate 4 month relationship by text, about 13 years ago, and it completely knocked the stuffing out of me. There is something about having no closure that is pretty devastating. I ended up traveling around the world for a year and having the time of my life to get over it, but I appreciate with a toddler that isn't really that realistic.

Is there any way of finding out if nothing awful has happened to him, just to put your mind at ease? Do you have a work e-mail or number for him? It does seem a strange text to send if be was going to dump you.

How much had you lent him?

Magicmayhem Wed 26-Jun-13 22:47:48

I think I'd have to pop round his house to see if he's ok... Anything could have happened to him... If he's ok, tell him you want your money back.

Upnotdown Wed 26-Jun-13 22:48:01

Could something have happened to his phone? If anything happened to mine I wouldn't be able to remember any numbers. Have you got another way to contact him?

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:48:18

How much money we talking here ?

A paramedic you say ? Really ? Do have have proof of that ?

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:48:42

I lent him money end of May (£200 I'm a lone parent so money is tight) as he needed to get his car serviced.

I've been such a fool, he always mentioned his 'wealthy family' so why he asked his skintight gf for a loan????? I've got doormat written across my face sad

I guess you've tried googling his name to be sure he hasn't had an awful accident?

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:49:31

Yes, proof. We met at work but he's in a different county now.

MsWinnieBaygo Wed 26-Jun-13 22:50:07

Shit - I'd be worried sick that something might've happened to him tbh or maybe it's just a simple explanation such as a disconnected phone due to unpaid bills.

Do you have any other way of contacting him such as email? I know you say he lives 40 miles away but do you know his address? Can you bring toddler and knock on door? I assume you have been to his house before?

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:50:27

I am sorry, love

Lesson learned, eh ?

I doubt very much an awful accident has befallen him. You've been scammed.

Next time swerve the ones that promise too much, too soon, eh ?

Pinkdaisy4 Wed 26-Jun-13 22:50:29

Yes, googled.....he has a v common Christian and surname but nothing comes up for him. He's not on fb either.

NameThatTuna Wed 26-Jun-13 22:51:24

When did he say he would give it back? Next pay day? Which would probably be about now.

I think there's your answer OP.

AnyFucker Wed 26-Jun-13 22:51:54

I also know of a paramedic who was/is a total piece of work

the job doesn't guarantee a nice/decent person, as you are learning to your (literal) cost

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