I found some porn in my bathroom

[Stupiditysquared]

.. and asked the DCs if they'd downloaded it.

This was a pretty stupid thing to do. Nuclear war has erupted. The trouble was that in 18 years of marriage, DH has never used porn (so far as I am aware). He never normally goes into that bathroom, whereas the DCs do. Also I did not know that he'd been at home. It never occurred to me that it was him.

Now DD is screaming at her father that he is a filthy pervert. He's screaming at me for being stupid, which in fairness it was. And I'm in shock really.

What next

[upahill]

Just wait for everything to calm down - which it will. Apolgize to your DC and then talk to DH.

[yogididabooboo]

How old are your Dc? I am pretty astounded that you would confront a child before a grwon man.

IF you have a teenage son and he had been teh one to download it, can you imagine how utterly humiliated he would have been?

[Stupiditysquared]

Printed off pictures left in bathroom

Stupid, yes. Never occurred to me that it was him.

[msrisotto]

Why is he screaming at you for being stupid? He left the porn in the bathroom! Moron. Genuinely, none of this is your fault and he can face the consequences which it sounds like he is!

[emmyloopsyloo]

Hold on he is screaming at you? He is the one who left porn in the bathroom that the kids use, so any of your kids could find it.

He is the stupid one in this situation. However confronting your children before your dh>>>>huge mistake.

I expect the are furious, you obviously think your husband couldn't possibly ever do this but your dc's could Start thinking more of them.

[yogididabooboo]

yes agree he has absolutly no right to be angry.

Whatever you feel about porn use, he cannotthink leaving it in a childs bathroom is acceptable surely.

[Malificence]

Who prints off porn pictures?

[dwpanxt]

Okay .

He is at home when you think he is not.
He downloaded porn.
He printed it off for further 'use'.
He took it into the childrens bathroom to use (presumably his own bathroom was vacant?)
He left the porn for his own children to see.

And he is screaming at you???


Have I got this right ? Because I can see no defence at all in this scenario.

[PeterAndreForPM]

what thought process made you confront your children before your H about porn ?

who prints "pictures" these days ?

he is a dick

and you sound like a loon, sorry

[Stupiditysquared]

dwpanxt - that was exactly the scenario

I do think that I am a loon though. How naive can you be?

Was totally shocked tbh

[atswimtwolengths]

Is he a complete lunatic?

[emmyloopsyloo]

Your kids will be angry with you, you think more of your husband than you do your own kids, that is how they will see it.

You are really shocked it's him but you had no such reservations about pinning the blame on the kids?

Is this is what it is like for them? Where automatically they must be at fault, poor kids. I don't understand either why you'd accuse your children of porn stashing before a grown man.

It's just fucked up in all honesty.

[Stupiditysquared]

Hey hang on. I adore my children. I just thought it was some process of teenage experimentation. Nothing about pinning blame. I wanted to have a discussion about pornography.

[emmyloopsyloo]

For it to blow up like it has, and from your words, it reads as if you wern't the gentle mum asking about possible expermentation.

This has to be done subtly and in private with each child so as not to cause embarassment.

If you did it in accusing kind of way, no wonder all hell has broken lose. You can't see past the fact this man you have on a pedestal may have been having a quick wank over pictures, so you immediatley blame the kids before the thought it may be him even enters you head.

Nowt as strange as folk.

[EmmaBGoode]

I think you guys are being a bit unfair to attack the OP. As her DH does not have a history of porn use (as far as she knows) I don't think it's that unreasonable to suspect the DC first. Yes, maybe she could have handled it better, but couldn't you say that for most situations we find ourselves in?

Give the girl a break.

[Glamour]

Pictures? thats a bit old school isnt it!
he should of just downloaded it to his phone or something instead of leaving around for the kids to find!

and i think you already know your silly for blaming the children first, that was a bit of a strange thing to do!

what is it your so shocked at by the way? the fact your husband had porn?

speak to your husband and if he is using porn maybe speak to him about using it together if you have a problem with him looking at it alone, and tell him how angry you are for him leavng it lying around for the children to see!

also it sound like sex may be a bit of a taboo subject in your house?

ive gathered that the children are teenagers and ithink you need to speak to then your dd in particular!

[Glamour]

then - them

[berryshake]

Why are people so sure it wasn't the DC? I remember some absolute filth I used to look at when I was a teenager... [wistful] (And I'm female, btw.)

[Glamour]

ha im with berryshake!!

i just thought that by the husbands reaction to the situation it was his!

[Lucyinthepie]

Because her DH left it there. The post says that.

[Stupiditysquared]

For the avoidance of doubt, DH was clear that the porn was his

[janiesmum]

whats the big deal

someone looks at mucky pictures

wow, stop the world!


some people create drama where there is none

[Stupiditysquared]

Please come around here this afternoon. We have need of sanity. I think DH and DD have more or less shouted themselves hoarse. Just a few aftershocks now.