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Pregnancy

Did you regret finding out the gender from your scan?

130 replies

Ceolas · 30/03/2009 12:55

I am expecting DC5 and have never known the gender before birth. I've been offered a 20 wk scan this time though and I'm really tempted. My excuse is it has implications for bedrooms and whether we'll need to move house (although not urgently I admit).

I'll be going alone and I know DH doesn't want to know. We've both said in the past it's like opening your presents before Christmas!

Did you find out and regret it or am I being daft?!

OP posts:

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DawnAS · 30/03/2009 13:00

I think it depends on whether you have a preference. I think we all know that when DC come along, you would love them whatever, but for some reason I had a real preference for a girl. I come from a family with 3 sisters and 1 brother and I feel I just have more experience with girls.

All my sisters have been the same and I have one sister that's also PG, a few weeks ahead of me.

Before Xmas we had to have an Amnio and found out that we're having a DD and we're so thrilled. My sister on the other hand is having a DS, so is glad that she found out early so that she could get used to it as she also desperately wanted a girl.

If you don't mind either way, I don't think it's necessarily needed, but if say you had 4 boys and were desperate for a girl, you may want to know in advance, so that you could prepare yourself for another boy... My Mum had all four girls first but didn't find out beforehand and was thrilled to have a boy at number 5, but would have been just as happy with another girl.

Sorry for the waffle...

EyeballsintheSky · 30/03/2009 13:00

Absolutely no regrets. Were told 70% girl at the anomaly scan which was neither use nor ornament so we had a private Babybond gender scan. Was lovely knowing and being able to decide on name etc.

Nabster · 30/03/2009 13:00

I don't think you should.

We didn't until baby number 3 seemed to have probs and we wanted some good news. It was the gender I secretly wanted but I don't know how I would have felt if it had been different - especially as the problem is more common in the sex it wasn't.

Ceolas · 30/03/2009 13:04

I would be happy with either and would of course love either but I suppose I do have a leaning in one particular direction.

Also, I'm a bit worried about knowing something DH doesn't!

OP posts:

angel1976 · 30/03/2009 14:00

I had a feeling that DS was a boy from day 1 and in the end, I had to have a CVS due to a high risk NT scan. DH and I both definitely wanted to know. I don't really buy the stuff about it being like opening your Christmas presents before Christmas... For us, once we knew the gender, it was nice concentrating on the other bits like the clothes and decorating his room and chossing the name. To be honest, I had a shockingly quick birth and wouldn't have given a flying f* if I had given birth to a monkey! LOL! :D

WowOoo · 30/03/2009 14:04

I've found out and am enjoying being able to plan practical side of things. Clothing, names etc.

Has spoilt the surprise a bit I suppose.

Hope scanner was not wrong though...!

ilikeyoursleeves · 30/03/2009 14:05

How would your DH feel if he knew you knew? Would you tell him? We have a 28 week scan in a month and I think (?) we are going to find out but part of me would still like a surprise cos we knew the sex with DS. 'Tis a hard decision!

MrsMattie · 30/03/2009 14:06

On the flipside, very glad we didn't find out. Never even considered it with our first baby, but I was quite tempted with our second, as had to have quite a few scans due to complications and they kept asking me if I knew/wanted to know. DH talked me out of it in the end and the surprise was 'lovely' and so, so, exciting on the day, not knowing....

Different strokes, though...

MrsMattie · 30/03/2009 14:07

not 'lovely', genuinely lovely

CherryChoc · 30/03/2009 14:08

You can have the 20 week scan and not be told the sex.

I wouldn't find out if my DH didn't want to know - I'd be bound to let it slip and he'd probably be really disappointed! At our hospital they won't tell you the sex unless both parents want to know (if you are together anyway)

happymango · 30/03/2009 14:17

I didn't find out for my first two and now third time round we have found out (although it's twins so that's made a bit of a difference).

Also I think it's nice for the other children to know.

Jojay · 30/03/2009 14:23

I knew with both mine and never regretted knowing.

I think it helped me relate to my 'bump' as a person, IYSWIM

lockets · 30/03/2009 14:29

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lockets · 30/03/2009 14:30

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Ceolas · 30/03/2009 14:34

I agree the birth experience is overwhelming on its own and not dependent on finding out the gender.

I would like to know what to knit

I prob would tell DH I knew but I honestly don't think he'd want to know.

OP posts:

Gateau · 30/03/2009 15:35

Definitely not going to find out. Can't understand why people do. Okay, you can plan names and get clothes etc, but it's no biggie, there's plenty of time for all that once the baby is born. The baby lives in 'neutral' clothing anyway for the few months. I far prefer the excitement of not knowing to being all organised. It's one of the few surprises in life.

frumpygrumpylovesJamesMorrison · 30/03/2009 15:42

When I found out I was having twins I knew I would find out the sex. I already had a DD and knew I'd need to be super organised in advance. There has never been a moment I have regretted it.

I did wonder if it would spoil that moment of birth when you wonder the sex but it didn't. It was still incredibly exciting to hear DP say "that's it, the little girl is out", and then "here he comes, I can see the little boy's bottom" as DS1 made his entrance into the world bottom first. It was a massively exciting night to see what they looked like and made no difference that we knew what was coming.

frumpygrumpylovesJamesMorrison · 30/03/2009 15:44

I agree that you relate very differently to your bump knowing what is inside. There is no right and wrong here, its just what it right for you at that time. My DD loved talking names with me and kissing each side of my bump at night saying "goodnight boy baby, goodnight girl baby, its not time to come out yet, see you in the Summer"

midnightexpress · 30/03/2009 15:47

I definitely didn't want to know with ds1, but was v tempted with ds2 (although as we don't have a routine 20 wk scan here, it was a hypothetical 'tempted') - my view was that when it's your first it doesn't matter at all, but with a second, it matters in the sense that the dynamic of having two the same or two different sexes will be different, and I sort of wanted to know ahead of time to prepare myself for that. Though in the end, I'm sure it made not a jot of difference - I wasn't desperate for either sex in particular, just a healthy happy baby, and as soon as they come along you can't imagine them being anyone else, can you?

Happymum2be · 30/03/2009 15:55

We loved finding out - there was no reason why we should have to wait - it will be a surprise on the day to see what he looks like. Its given us chance to bond and prepare. I wanted to do as much prep as possible - I am a very organised person and this could be my last chance to be so!
We have had a few comments from people who think its wrong to find out - whats wrong is their attitude. Its a personal thing and you will know whats right for you. I can't imagine why anyone would regret finding out!

SoupDreggon · 30/03/2009 15:55

I find it bizarre when people talk about it being a surprise when the baby is born. It's a surprise at the scan too you know

Found out with DD and told no one other than my parents/in laws. Didn't regret it at all. I found out by accident with DS2 a couple of days before he was born. Delighted to have a couple of days to get the initial disappointment of not having a girl out of the way so I could greet him with joy.

Gateau · 30/03/2009 16:01

Of course there's no wrong or right with the choice people make. People do what they want.
I remember finding it bizarre when one set of parents told me they found out what sex their baby was but didn't tell anyone else.
I liken that to opening all your Christmas presents and not telling anyone else what you got.
Still, whatever lights their candle.

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SoupDreggon · 30/03/2009 16:13

So, that'll be someone like me then Gateau.

It's nothing like not telling anyone what you got for Christmas. It's not like they won't find out when the baby is born.

[sheesh]

Nabster · 30/03/2009 16:14

And me

Gateau · 30/03/2009 16:22

My point is, does anyone else really care that much what the sex of your baby is? Really?
I think it really only matters to the parents.

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