He sounds lazy - expects you to go to him and not vice versa. Bloody hell.

Hope all OK other than that and no more big developments. He's going a bit bonkers re specifics for access when he doesn't seem to know himself when he's going to go.

I don't see this happening to be honest. I reckon he'll be here this time next year.

I have been following this, not petty at all, why on earth should you ferry the girls to see him when he has left you with a pittance.

A fairish compromise would be to let him know when you are planning to visit your parents and if he wants he can pick them up from there, but tbh either he wants to see his kids or not, wanker ( and I haven't even met him)

Hi Giveitago. Good week thanks. Shame ex had to pick them up this weekend and spoil the fun but of course it has to be done! Only development is that he has now moved up near to my parents and sister (obviously ex is suitably hated by my family. DD1 already commented that as daddy is up working near
Grandma will they be able to see them. I explained that time with Daddy was just that. Anyway fuck face sends a text to say he is happy to have them delivered/ picked up from him as he is now living nearish my parents! What a cheek. What is in it for me. £70 quids worth of petrol at least. Also isn't that lovely bonding time in the car with his girls. Also from various things that have been said by DDs, I don't think he is going to have gone to Aus by March!

Perhaps I am being petty. Goodwill has never been on the cards and so why start now?

Hope you have a lovely weekend. Weather is a bit grim.... perhaps it's time to start thinking about xmas shopping! xx

any developments looney - hope you had good week

ditto what MillyMollyMoo says

Thx Giveitago. Yep - I know his parents have absolutely no rights. Still he is such a twat it does not stop him making demands. His parents were in fact with me when ex left the family home! His dad shouted to him "dont come back to this f**ing house" when he left! Still blood is thicker than water and I have had a run in with his father since ex left. Ex has dumped the DDs on his parents when HE should have been spending quality time with them (and gone to work instead!).

You are so right tho... I must be allowed to dictate any contact with GPS on my terms.

Hope you have had a good day.... nearly the weekend!

Oh Looney mum

No - gps have no rights - wrongly or rightly (in some horrible cases). They don't figure in access and it's great that you are facilitating this as they sound nice and it's great for your girls.

But why should you lose control over your time and for ex-dp. It would be horrible - he'd get all the fun ZERO responsbility (and no doubt delegate all responsibility to gps where possible) and you get all the fall out - bringing up two girls solo - you doing the right thing always to you most probably seeing your family less to ensure they see dad, ils, friends, classes. What do you get and what do your girls get - tired stressed mummy.

Yes, gotta be done - BUT ON YOUR TERMS. My dh thought it appropriate to take 15 month baby out of the country without me for two weeks. I blocked it - afteraffects still felt - I'm coping with having to deal with OTHER people's unreasonable demands. I cannot wait till ds old enough to go to mil without me (even though he'll only get a crash course in hating mummy whilst there) - but I'm thinking at least when he can fully look after himself.

Hi Giveitago. Ah... you have hit all nails on the head. You have described exactly how I feel. I know I must facilitate contact with ex/his family but I too think it should be on my terms.... my ex obviously feels differently and thinks that he can call all the shots. He has already said that his parents should be allowed to have the children for half terms at their house after he emigrates. The way it is going, I will only see my lovely children for reading, writing, spelling practice, maths homework, cooking, cleaning, washing and generally ferrying around. This is all so unfair.

I truly sympathise with your situation too. It must be so hard for you having to please everyone all the time and always having to holiday in the same place. Everyone needs a change and to see something new.

So far as holidays going forward are concerned, it is very unfortunate as life looks very different now. We used to do a couple of hols abroad a year and perhaps a trip to eurodisney. I am hopeful that by next summer (should I actually get to spend some time with my girls) then it could be a camping or caravan hol. Do you know I will love it. I am so happy that ex is gone and now just want to get on .... the sooner he goes to Aus the better so far as I am concerned. Obviously that isn't great for the kids but my ex has chosen to emigrate and should, as you say, come back to see them.

Thanks so much for your support. x

Why can't he visit them in the UK - cheaper and it's the same distance.

Having family overseas and having to visit them can be very limiting.

Different circumstances but similar outcomes. My dh is from another European country - as mil makes such a song and dance about coming over here (and when she does she's stays MONTHS) but she expects us to go to her twice a year on top of this. Now little one is starting school this makes trips very expensive, we also need ds to see my family (in UK) which he doesn't very much, and as he's getting bigger he'll make his own friends. This leaves precious little time (or money) for us as a family. I cannot even see us taking ds to other countries to broaden his outlook. This makes me so sad.

I'm sorry but I cannot help thinking that they are waaaaay to young to be out of the country without their main carer. Plus in future - contact in Oz needs to be on your terms so that you can also spend some holiday time and relax with your girls - or I see a situation where you do all the parenting, fulfil obligations for contact with your family, exh's parents in the UK, ensure they have sufficient social life - you will be drained and then he gets to show off his glamorous lifestyle in Oz to them with none of the repsonsibilities that come with being a parent.And you get your free time on his terms. Not great. Can you afford great holidays for your LOs?

They need access but this needs to be very carefully managed.

Hi WorkingStudentM.

Unfortunately, I was left with the mortgage on the family home and am not in a position to raise a mortgage so in order to keep some stability for the DDs I used savings, money from parents and emptied piggy banks to pay off the debt. Hence I have an asset and am not eligible for legal aid..... My ex stitched me up in every way possible!

Of course, another option is to sell our home to fund the court case.... but that seems a bit harsh! Thanks so much for taking the time to post. xx