Penetration man

(772 Posts)

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Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 20:44:10

So I went out with a man many years ago who was very kind, interesting handsome, drove a lovely car and was very popular. But, I ended the relationship because he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.
I also finished with a bloke because he had thick blond hair on his arms.
Now I know that means at the time I was very shallow, so ... What is the shallowest reason you have ever had to finish a relationship ?
😬

NickNacks Sun 21-Aug-16 20:46:59

He had a strong regional accent and i genuinely couldn't understand most of what he said. I said pardon so many times that I'd end up nodding or smiling hoping it was the correct response.

StillMedusa Sun 21-Aug-16 20:48:34

He took off his underpants and FOLDED them neatly on a chair ...
I was hoping for unbridled passion and it was a bit of a moment killer grin

x2boys Sun 21-Aug-16 20:50:11

green underpants, not boxers or shorts but thee type you buy for little boys.

bigtapdancingpimp Sun 21-Aug-16 21:05:11

I went out with a guy who did everything reeaalllllyyyyyyy slowly. Walked slow, talked slow, ate slow. He was funny about food, we went to a restaurant and he pushed the food round his plate; when I asked him if there was anything wrong with the steak he replied 'I dinnae really eat meat'. I suggested trying the veg to which he replied 'I dinnae really eat vegetables' confused confused confused He was shit in bed too but ironically more of a hare than the tortoise grin

QueenoftheAndals Sun 21-Aug-16 21:07:14

he seemed to think whispering ' penetration' in my ear was sexy.

We need to know more about this OP. Was it a statement of intent, a statement of what he'd just done or just something he randomly said?

LavenderRains Sun 21-Aug-16 21:08:43

I dumped someone who wore jumpers that his mum knitted and had chapped lips.......I dated his brother thowink

KatieScarlettReregged2 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:08:45

He got a tattoo.
On his forearm.
Of my name in swirly writing.
Actually not that shallow now I come to think about it.

Christine88 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:08:49

He wouldn't let me eat McDonald's because of the amount of paper they waste...or something I wasn't listening I just heard no McDonald's and I was done...

reader77 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:09:51

He had one long hair growing out of his shoulder.

SwearyGodmother Sun 21-Aug-16 21:11:16

He licked his knife. In public. And held his spoon in a fist like a toddler does.

When we did break up he called me a few days later saying "I know I'm useless and a liar and have terrible manners, but are you sure you want to end this?" Funnily enough that didn't change my mind.

MrsGsnow18 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:11:43

Holy flip to the guy whispering penetration in your ear!! hmm That would have really creeped me out! That or made me wet myself laughing!

I once dated a guy who stuffed tissues down his boxers!confused I never found out why, it just grossed me out to find wads of tissue in there shock

NoCapes Sun 21-Aug-16 21:12:14

I once dumped someone because he jizzed on my favourite shoes and I just couldn't look at them in the same way again

x2boys Sun 21-Aug-16 21:14:04

grinReader could you not have plucked it?

RatherSheepish Sun 21-Aug-16 21:14:11

A guy who kept fiddling with his nipples during sex. Not that uncommon I guess. He used to also always go and do a large post-coital shit. I dropped him after he left one too many skid marks in my loo.

QOD Sun 21-Aug-16 21:16:03

Cos he was the same height as me

Not that shallow as I'm 5 foot tall lol

We looked like bloody children

DoreenLethal Sun 21-Aug-16 21:16:13

He turned up to a date in black loafers with a gold bar and tassles on them.

I walked away.

SauvignonPlonker Sun 21-Aug-16 21:17:03

Went on a date with a young Studmuffin from the gym - I was 31, he was 25.

He invited me to his flat for dinner & produced Uncle Ben's jar sauce & microwave rice. Then switched on Hollyoaks to watch, whilst we ate it from our laps on trays that his mummy had bought him.

And he couldn't come with a condom on.

Binned.

Queenbean Sun 21-Aug-16 21:17:35

He had terrible grammar. "I can't do this no more". Urgh.

MistressMerryWeather Sun 21-Aug-16 21:17:56

Cameron2012, my ex used to whisper the same thing.

He thought it was funny/sexy.

I wonder if it's the same guy?

<shudders>

reader77 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:18:09

x2boys I probably would do that now but I was 18 at the time and squeamish!

Mooey89 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:18:27

Updated his calendar for a date of our that said 'enjoy Mooey'. Then that night he ate a large dominoes, two sides, dessert AND Ben and Jerrys all to himself.
I got in my car, drove home, and blocked his number. I'm a cunt, but EUGH

Cameron2012 Sun 21-Aug-16 21:19:19

Queen of the andals
We never actually had sex or even came close, he whispered pennnnnaaaatrrrraaation and then stuck his tongue in my ear

ProseccoBitch Sun 21-Aug-16 21:19:30

OP that's amazing lol!

I had a shag buddy who didn't make ANY noise during sex. I then realised he was the same height as me (it took a while to notice as we'd been horizontal most of the time before then). That was it for me I'm afraid (I'm 5'3").

CautionWankingMonkeys Sun 21-Aug-16 21:19:41

Left his socks on and thanked me directly after sex.

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