Given that most of us failed the on-line British Citizen test, let's make up our own questions about what it's like to be British?

(185 Posts)
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 16:50:36

original thread here

We need questions about British culture, class and manners, which would truly work out whether you knew the country. For example:

Which of these expressions would only be used by someone from the lower middle class:
- Bog
- Loo
- Toilet
- Lavatory
- Shitter?

List these supermarkets in order of naiceness.

Iceland
Budgens
Aldi
Sainsbury's
Waitrose

What is a snakebite (tick all that apply)?
- A bite from a snake.
- A mixture of cider and lager
- A flaming from a nest of vipers

DeafLeopard Wed 16-Jan-13 20:30:01

There is a queue of people, someone pushes passed to the front, what happens next?

a Someone challenges queue jumper
b No-one challenges queue jumper, but everyone in queue exchanges tuts and eye rolls
c What is a queue?

kim147 Wed 16-Jan-13 20:33:42

How do you find out if your local primary school is any good?

1) Look at the OFSTED report
2) Visit the school and talk to the head and teachers
3) Hang around the school gates and listen to the parents
4) Ask a question on MN

And how do you ensure you get a place at the school?

kim147 Wed 16-Jan-13 20:34:58

Name the times of the year when you can expect all the shops to have sales.

(Ignore DFS as they always have sales)

Which way do you pass the port?

kotinka Wed 16-Jan-13 20:43:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kotinka Wed 16-Jan-13 20:44:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustAHolyFool Wed 16-Jan-13 21:05:29

Which of these is it acceptable to complain about while in a queue?

1. the weather
2. how long you've been waiting
3. your boss
4. the strange odour that has been emanating from your genitalia for the past week
5. bloody johnny forrinner coming over here, taking our jobs

List the possible expletives you might hear in the following transport situations:-
a) Presenting a bus driver with a £20 for a £2.30 fare
b) Standing on the wrong side of a tube escalator

If a person makes eye contact and smiles at you in the street are they:-
a)drunk
b)friendly
c) not British

select the answer which is probably wrong.

If you are in a conversation with a British person who is being critical of the Government / Royal Family / Britain in general if you agree with them will they:-

a)appreciate you agreeing with their criticisms
b)unexpectedly turn on you like a cornered wildcat and tell you to sod off if you don't like it here

ElectricSheep Wed 16-Jan-13 22:28:17

Which sisters each wrote a masterpiece of English literature?

a) The Nolan Sisters?
b) The Scissor Sisters?
c) The Cheeky Girls?
d) The Three Degrees?
e) The Bronte sisters?

Rosa Wed 16-Jan-13 22:31:07

Quotes of this thread are bound to end up in a paper or mentioned on the radio or something its brill and I expect to take the test and hopefully pass this time....

TalkinPeace2 Wed 16-Jan-13 22:33:00

When hailing a taxi in Trafalgar Square, which of these destinations is NOT acceptable?
a) Harrods
b) Bishops Avenue
c) New Cross Bridge
d) Windsor Castle

Which station is at the end of the Circle line?

magimedi88 Wed 16-Jan-13 22:37:14

You are a reasonably intelligent mother.

Which forum do you join?

A. NetMums

B. MumsNet

C. PistonHeads

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 23:02:23

In which parts of the country are you most likely to find the following:

Laverbread
Traditional pasty
Black Pudding
Balti
Jellied Eels
Deep Fried Mars Bar?

TalkinPeace2 Wed 16-Jan-13 23:04:52

Mardy
but the answer to the whole of your list is "Islington" grin

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 23:05:35

Morris Dancing. Just why?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 23:05:59

grin at Talkin

MsMoastyToasty Wed 16-Jan-13 23:08:19

You wish to purchase goods at your local shop. How many times will the words "thank you" be uttered when you take your items to the till?

a) Once, by you, when you have paid for said goods

b) At least seven times - when you put your items on the counter (you and the cashier), when you take the items once they have been scanned (you), when you are given a bag (you), when you proffer payment (both of you), when you receive your change (you).

Which of these is not an agricultural event

a)National Farmers Union Conference
b) Royal Bath and West Show
c) Cowes Week
d) Countryside Live

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 23:15:09

Does anyone else keep getting adverts for UK Visa applications lawyers over there? ---->

TalkinPeace2 Wed 16-Jan-13 23:19:56

I have adblock set on my browser :-)

What is the correct temperature to serve bitter?
How much of the glass can be 'head'?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 23:20:36

Which of these qualify for "national treasure" status?

Cliff Richard
Maggie Smith
Bruce Forsyth
Richard Branson
Piers Morgan
John Craven
David Attenborough
Claire from Steps
Peter Andre

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 16-Jan-13 23:22:27

From the UK benefits system you may be entitled to claim:-

a) Financial assistance
b) a goat
c) A trampoline
d) sky tv
e) all of the above

JustAHolyFool Wed 16-Jan-13 23:31:19

Are teachers:

a) highly respected professionals with years of education behind them, who want the best for the children in their class

b) interfering jobsworths who want us all to write essays about how much our child reads every night, and who will report you to the social if your child comes to school with a grazed knee or

c) slacker layabouts who get 45 weeks of holiday a year and spend the rest of the time colouring in

WaynettaSlobsLover Wed 16-Jan-13 23:33:54

I love being English. ;')

TheWombat Wed 16-Jan-13 23:40:18

Name three of each of the following:
Prime ministers
Winners of 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here'
Hugh Grant films

In no more than 50 words, explain the rules of the popular game 'Mornington Crescent'.

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