Mumsnet Talk

original thread here

We need questions about British culture, class and manners, which would truly work out whether you knew the country. For example:

Which of these expressions would only be used by someone from the lower middle class:
- Bog
- Loo
- Toilet
- Lavatory
- Shitter?

List these supermarkets in order of naiceness.

Iceland
Budgens
Aldi
Sainsbury's
Waitrose

What is a snakebite (tick all that apply)?
- A bite from a snake.
- A mixture of cider and lager
- A flaming from a nest of vipers

Place these slebs in class order :-
Katie Price
Kate Middleton
Kate Silverton
Kate Moss

Which newspaper do you read?

Telegraph
Guardian
Daily Mail but only when I find it in a café
Sun

Is it Pardon or What?

You are waiting in a queue when a tough-looking individual cuts in to the front. Do you:

a) Shout at him to move to the back.
b) Tap him on the shoulder and politely explain that there is a queue.
c) Do nothing.
d) Glare at him and mutter passive-aggressively with the others, while not actually having the nerve to say or do anything.

What's in a beef burger?

Which of the following is not a suitable 'nibble' for an adult dinner party?
Olives
Canapés
Vegetable crisps
Pom Bears

What do you call the room in which you relax?
Front room
Living room
Sitting room
Drawing room
Lounge
Parlour
TV room
Entertainment complex

If someone bumps into you, what is the correct response?

a) swear at them
b) say sorry
c) give them a good kick
d) nothing

What are the small grey boxes on the back of satellite dishes called?

Answer: council houses.

You are making tea:
Mug or cup?
Bag or loose?
Lemon or milk?
Earl Grey or English Breakfast?

Mine is a two-parter.

Before she married Lady Mary shagged a diplomat at Downton who died

a) What country was he from?

b) which servant helped move the body?

I'm writing a "culture guide" for a friend who might be moving to the UK, which has been fun.

Some key questions:
Are pants outer wear or under wear?

The following beverage can solve any problem:
a) a nice cup of tea
b) a glass of water
c) a cup of coffee

<enjoying this perhaps a bit too much>

You have workers/tradesmen helping out at your residence
DO you offer them a beverage? and if so, what is its colloquial name?
(and how many sugars are contained therein? )

What does it mean when someone says "Shall I be mother?"

a) They want to adopt you
b) They want to lick their hanky and wipe something off your face
c) They are offering to pour the tea
d) They are asking whether you think they might be pregnant

Complete the following sentence:

This is Davina. You are live on Channel 4 please do not __

True or false:

All UK teachers get 30 weeks holiday a year and when they are at work they always finish at 3

All doctor's receptionists are rude, opinionated bitches

Center parks is for posh folks while Butlins is for chavs

You are visiting a National Trust property. True or false:

The main highlight of the visit will be the tea shop and gift boutique.

You are encouraged to sit on the furniture in the display rooms.

The entry fee will be very reasonable if you are not National Trust members.

What is the correct pronunciation of scone?

What is the correct way to greet an opposing football fan when you team has just lost?
a)Well played old chap
b)Headbutt in the face and a kick in the nuts
c)Change your alliagence to their team immediately

Which of these expressions means something is good
a)Spiffing
b)Dogs bollocks
c)Sick
d)All of the above

You are an MP, which of these expenses is not allowable
a)Wisteria clearing
b)Adult movies
c)Duck houses
d)All should be allowable but some odious little pleb keeps saying no

allegiance not the crap I typed

Oh, I thought this had died.

As a Johnny Foreigner, does the Daily Mail like you?

Yes
No
Only if you are white, speak English, are solvent and have a job (which no British person wants).

Ha ha. These are great.

List those permitted to park in p&c spaces at the supermarket.

An acquaintance has a new job. Do you

a) ask them what the job title is, and how much the salary is?
b) congratulate them and leave it there?
c) skirt around the issue, asking what the responsibilities are and checking out their drive to see if there is a company car?

What is Kate short for?

a) Katherine
b) Kathleen
c) Bob