Given that most of us failed the on-line British Citizen test, let's make up our own questions about what it's like to be British?

(185 Posts)
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 16:50:36

original thread here

We need questions about British culture, class and manners, which would truly work out whether you knew the country. For example:

Which of these expressions would only be used by someone from the lower middle class:
- Bog
- Loo
- Toilet
- Lavatory
- Shitter?

List these supermarkets in order of naiceness.

Iceland
Budgens
Aldi
Sainsbury's
Waitrose

What is a snakebite (tick all that apply)?
- A bite from a snake.
- A mixture of cider and lager
- A flaming from a nest of vipers

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:26:12

Place these slebs in class order :-
Katie Price
Kate Middleton
Kate Silverton
Kate Moss

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:28:05

Which newspaper do you read?

Telegraph
Guardian
Daily Mail but only when I find it in a café
Sun

Is it Pardon or What?

AngryTrees Wed 16-Jan-13 17:32:14

You are waiting in a queue when a tough-looking individual cuts in to the front. Do you:

a) Shout at him to move to the back.
b) Tap him on the shoulder and politely explain that there is a queue.
c) Do nothing.
d) Glare at him and mutter passive-aggressively with the others, while not actually having the nerve to say or do anything.

Moominsarehippos Wed 16-Jan-13 17:33:59

What's in a beef burger?

TeeBee Wed 16-Jan-13 17:36:40

Which of the following is not a suitable 'nibble' for an adult dinner party?
Olives
Canapés
Vegetable crisps
Pom Bears

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:36:49

What do you call the room in which you relax?
Front room
Living room
Sitting room
Drawing room
Lounge
Parlour
TV room
Entertainment complex

alexpolismum Wed 16-Jan-13 17:38:02

If someone bumps into you, what is the correct response?

a) swear at them
b) say sorry
c) give them a good kick
d) nothing

What are the small grey boxes on the back of satellite dishes called?

Answer: council houses.

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:48:39

You are making tea:
Mug or cup?
Bag or loose?
Lemon or milk?
Earl Grey or English Breakfast?

Nancy66 Wed 16-Jan-13 17:48:41

Mine is a two-parter.

Before she married Lady Mary shagged a diplomat at Downton who died

a) What country was he from?

b) which servant helped move the body?

Absy Wed 16-Jan-13 17:48:57

I'm writing a "culture guide" for a friend who might be moving to the UK, which has been fun.

Some key questions:
Are pants outer wear or under wear?

The following beverage can solve any problem:
a) a nice cup of tea
b) a glass of water
c) a cup of coffee

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:49:56

<enjoying this perhaps a bit too much>

You have workers/tradesmen helping out at your residence
DO you offer them a beverage? and if so, what is its colloquial name?
(and how many sugars are contained therein? wink)

EllieArroway Wed 16-Jan-13 17:51:39

What does it mean when someone says "Shall I be mother?"

a) They want to adopt you
b) They want to lick their hanky and wipe something off your face
c) They are offering to pour the tea
d) They are asking whether you think they might be pregnant

whiskeytangofoxtrot Wed 16-Jan-13 17:52:37

Complete the following sentence:

This is Davina. You are live on Channel 4 please do not __

Nancy66 Wed 16-Jan-13 17:54:00

True or false:

All UK teachers get 30 weeks holiday a year and when they are at work they always finish at 3

All doctor's receptionists are rude, opinionated bitches

Center parks is for posh folks while Butlins is for chavs

FairPhyllis Wed 16-Jan-13 18:00:27

You are visiting a National Trust property. True or false:

The main highlight of the visit will be the tea shop and gift boutique.

You are encouraged to sit on the furniture in the display rooms.

The entry fee will be very reasonable if you are not National Trust members.

What is the correct pronunciation of scone?

What is the correct way to greet an opposing football fan when you team has just lost?
a)Well played old chap
b)Headbutt in the face and a kick in the nuts
c)Change your alliagence to their team immediately

Which of these expressions means something is good
a)Spiffing
b)Dogs bollocks
c)Sick
d)All of the above

You are an MP, which of these expenses is not allowable
a)Wisteria clearing
b)Adult movies
c)Duck houses
d)All should be allowable but some odious little pleb keeps saying no

allegiance not the crap I typed

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 18:07:54

Oh, I thought this had died.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 18:09:18

As a Johnny Foreigner, does the Daily Mail like you?

Yes
No
Only if you are white, speak English, are solvent and have a job (which no British person wants).

PastaDee Wed 16-Jan-13 18:11:23

Ha ha. These are great.

List those permitted to park in p&c spaces at the supermarket.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 16-Jan-13 18:12:30

An acquaintance has a new job. Do you

a) ask them what the job title is, and how much the salary is?
b) congratulate them and leave it there?
c) skirt around the issue, asking what the responsibilities are and checking out their drive to see if there is a company car?

alexpolismum Wed 16-Jan-13 18:13:48

What is Kate short for?

a) Katherine
b) Kathleen
c) Bob

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now