Odd thing you've done, and then thought 'WTF did I do that?!'(293 Posts)
I once found a white disc in the washing machine after a load had finished. Couldn't for the life of me work out what it was. So I licked it. Turns out it was a lemon scented bleach block for the toilet cistern. I'd scooped up the packet with the dirty washing. I don't usually lick random objects. It tasted a bit lemony, and not particularly fatal in case you were wondering.
Got home after being out all morning the other day, couldn't find my house keys .
Front door left wide open with keys in the outside lock
I 'd been out over 3 hours and the postie had been , kindly putting the post on the doormat!
Wouldn't be as bad if it wasn't the second time I've done it..
1st night on holiday.
Went straight to the beach.
It was nearly dusk so thought we would just paddle with toddlers.
Tucked up maxi-dress up by ruching it up at the sides and tucking it into knickers. They were black, I had been waxed before holiday so thought it was no different to bikini bottoms.
Played on beach for an hour and sat down on towel to dry feet etc.
Only realised later that I had forgotten I had on a panty pad, with large white wings very visibly displayed! Mortified
On the phone to a client called Ben in the office. Get to the end of the call and instead of saying 'Bye!' I say 'Ben!'
Love this thread, still funny.
And the one about the person being in the wheelchair all evening absolutely cracked me up
When I first had my licence, and took the car out for the day I had dropped off my friend, walked out of her house and hopped straight into the passenger side of the car. Shut the door. Then realised, oh Christ I can't drive from here.
In case anyone was looking I spent a minute pretending to get something out of the glove box before I got out and walked back around to the drivers side.
So pleased this thread is in Classics, it's been so funny that I almost had an asthma attack because of been so hysterical with laughter.
I've had a few 'incidents' myself, but the first I remember was when I was about 12 or so: my mother gave me some letters to post at the Post Office, and some money to buy stamps to put on them. Yup, I'm sure you've guessed, I posted the letters then went inside to buy the stamps. On the letters. I'd just posted...
Took me years to live that down.
I've just attempted to eat what I think is supposed to be a bath bomb...
It was heart shaped, sweetie sized and pink. It was in a baby shower party bag given to me by a friend.
It was going so well til I licked it and it started fizzing...
Last Monday I went into work, took the lift with a colleague, got out on the third floor. Went into the kitchen to make tea.
Wondered why they had changed the table - I'm part time, these things happen.
Looked for my mug - some bastard had nicked it, obviously. Funnily enough all the other mugs looked a bit unfamiliar. Spent five minutes hunting for the team tea caddy and milk ...
Only when someone id never seen before asked me what I needed did I remember the key point that I work on the FIFTH floor ...
Met a colleague of DH's in the street. Never met her before but joined in with the polite 'lovely weather' type chat as I wanted to make a good impression. As she walked away calling 'bye!' I replied with an equally cheery and loud 'thank you!'
What? Thank you? Ffs brain.
We were out with H's new work colleagues one evening.
One guy was Welsh, and all of a sudden, I found myself doing a Welsh accent, in response to something he'd said .
I have no idea why I did it, H was quite annoyed, as he was embarrassed, and the guy I'd mimicked looked really unimpressed.
I still go red just thinking about it!
Oh this thread is joyous.
I like the ritual of writing Christmas cards each year. One year a friend called me to ask I'd realised that I'd written 'happy birthday' rather than merry Christmas in her card.
I'd done it in all of them. Why!?!? Why???????
A friend and I were on our way to a party in a block of flats (I was staying with her so it was her friends party, no one I knew.) On the walk there we found a slightly broken abandoned wheelchair and I thought it would be hysterical to get in it. Friend wheeled me the rest of the way to the party (spinning me and tipping me up etc etc).
We arrived at the bottom of the main stairway to the flat block and my friend saw someone she knew so ran off to see them in excitement. As I'm about to get up out of the wheelchair some other party goers (who had been smoking out the front) noticed me. Cue lots of apologies from them about how the lift is broken and they're so sorry but of course I'm still welcome, not to worry, they'll carry me up.
They then lift me in the chair up three flights of stairs into the flat and I had to pretend to be in a wheelchair for the rest of the evening including wheelchair dancing and one particularly interesting trip to the toilet. My friend thought it was hilarious and at the end of the evening rounded up the same guys to carry me back down the stairs. By this time my head was just buried in my hands but my she gushed thanks at them and wheeled me off down the road.
Why I didn't just get up out of the chair and explain myself straight away I'll never know!
I'm shaking with silent laughter trying not to wake up four month old dd in the crib next to me!
My mum was redecorating her hallway and I was helping look at sample books. I'd finished with one and asked her to pass me the deluxe one. Wasn't until I saw the look on my dp and my mum's face that I realised I'd said durex!
Also was at my mum's once with my sister her dp and my dp. I saw a pair of seamless knickers on the radiator and I wanted to know if they were any good at hiding vpl so I piped up with "Mum are these your crotchless knickers?" She looked horrified for a second before everyone fell about laughing! I'll never live that one down!
Just realised that I look like I'm obsessed with sex!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I've only just realised (yesterday) that kanga and roo from winne the pooh were so called because they were.... Kangaroos
I'm in my 30's for petes sakes. How have I only just realised this??!
At Westfield shopping centre my husband handed me the parking token which I inexplicably popped into my mouth and attempted to swallow
On the phone the other week to organise a meeting
I was half listening, and half writing something on the PC.
The woman I was
sort of listening to said something about being able to move an appointment forward for me. I went to say "Thankyou" but for some reason my brain wanted me to say "Well done" I ended up saying, "Well, FANCY THAT" in a rather overly enthusiastic tone. Mumbled something about someone being at the door and quickly hung up.
Oh yes. Called the hair dresser to make an appointment one time when we were visiting DH's hometown. "Anyone available for a quick blow job today?" Meant blow dry.
THis thread is great!
Mine :Spent 10 minutes trying to get in my car but the key wouldn't turn had a similar problem the week before so I was unimpressed it hadn't been fixed. I rang the AA started complaining that they had been out the week before and I was not happy etc etc they asked for licence plate which I couldn't remember went round the front and reliased it wasn't my car, my car was 2 cars back. So I said oh it's working now and hung up!
Also walked home from work on more than one occasion and then called dh in a flap cos car had been stolen to them remember driving to work that morning!
Not me but my mother, we were on a night out she got a little tipsy and as we were leaving some lads (about 20ish) were sliding down the banister of the stairs in the bar. Being my mother she started telling them off saying it was v dangerous they could hurt themselves. She then proceeded to take one step and fall down the full flight of stairs!!!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Last year I posted my dad's Father's Day card into the post box. As it slipped from my fingers I realised it just said 'Dad'. I hadn't written his address or even his name! I had put on a stamp though!? I felt like such an idiot.
I frequently forget how old I am and really have to think about it before I come up with the correct answer.
At uni I decided to test whether the hob was working by touching it, I turned my entire palm into a huge blister.
Also, not me but a colleague who burst out of a cubicle at work screaming the place down. As we were in ITU I assumed that the patient had literally exploded or something, turns out my colleague had seen a spider.
When I was 22 I went to buy a bottle of wine. The man serving me asked how old I was? I replied back '18'! He then asked to see my id which he looked at and realised I was 22...he stared at me like I was crazy!
I once was I was I. the phone to the mobile phone company, they asked me to confirm my number so I did, they told me that it was wrong, so I said again, this went in for a while and ended up with me giving the poor guy on the other end of the phone a bollocking because he was wrong-
turns out I was telling him my exHs number
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