Odd thing you've done, and then thought 'WTF did I do that?!'

(279 Posts)

I once found a white disc in the washing machine after a load had finished. Couldn't for the life of me work out what it was. So I licked it. Turns out it was a lemon scented bleach block for the toilet cistern. I'd scooped up the packet with the dirty washing. I don't usually lick random objects. It tasted a bit lemony, and not particularly fatal in case you were wondering.

Bored in work one day I decided to staple my finger.

For some reason I thought it wouldn't go through my skin, you know how sometimes when you try to staple through multiple pages paper and it's too thick?

Well it did go through, right through my finger. Trying to pull it out again in the middle of the office without squealing in pain was a bundle of laughs. Couldn't tell anyone what I'd done as they'd (rightly) look at me like I was insane.

Pollydon Tue 07-May-13 18:26:01

Bit through thick parcel tape instead of using scissors................and pulled a front crown off 3 days before grand mil's funeral [shocked]

bicyclebuiltforfour Tue 07-May-13 18:37:34

As a trainee solicitor I was once chatting to a very senior partner. Was all professional and proud of myself until I turned to go and walked straight into a filing cabinet. There was no hiding this: I didn't join his department grin

CalamityKate Tue 07-May-13 18:49:03

I went through a phase of trying to throw myself down the stairs for some reason.

Coming down the stairs one day about 2 years ago, instead of walking all the way to the bottom I inexplicably stepped off the forth step up and landed in a heap at the bottom. The next time I came downstairs I actually thought to myself "Better remember to come all the way down this time! Haha!" And literally AS I THOUGHT IT, I stepped off the fourth step up and landed in a heap at the bottom.

It was bizarre - like I'd been taken over by some sort of force that was trying to kill me. Or my legs were trying to kill me. Or something.

About a year later it suddenly happened again. Freaky.

CalamityKate Tue 07-May-13 19:25:46

All these are brilliant and I read and laugh at this thread every time it pops up but I have to say that MortBlackCatsandWitch and her frog impression makes me break down every time.

I'm sitting here wheezing away like Muttley (I only do that when I'm laughing REALLY hard) and literally have tears rolling <grin>

cocolepew Tue 07-May-13 19:34:07

I am literally crying with laughter here. I started at '9' and haven't drew breath since.

ClaraOswinOswald Tue 07-May-13 19:43:43

Really enjoyed this thread. I do silly stuff all of the time. Trying to do a maintenance wash (to clean the machine) with fairy liquid was fun. smile

CalamityKate Tue 07-May-13 19:45:49

Oh yes and "Hello Bronagh" is another particular favourite grin

Yesterday I poured a drink for myself then started making 'pink milk' for DS1. I poured the Nesquik into my own glass confused

fishybits Tue 07-May-13 19:54:34

At a job interview which I had aced and been offered the job, stood up, shook future employer's hand and then winked at him! WTAF!!!! blush

Job offer was withdrawn in writing the next daysad grin

Fandan Tue 07-May-13 20:28:56

I was getting DS ready for his bath, he'd taken all his clothes off and I picked them up thinking, I need to pee so I'll pop his clothes in the laundry basket when I get to the bathroom, I then walk into the bathroom and promptly throw his clothes down the toilet pan!

StealthOfficialCrispTester Tue 07-May-13 20:45:25

What did they say fishy?

fishybits Tue 07-May-13 20:56:54

It was 15+ years ago Stealth but something along the lines of "upon further consideration we feel that position offered does not suit your skill set" blah, blah, blah. Aged 21, I didn't really mind and went travelling instead. smile

Oh my lord this has been a stressful week but this thread has just made my evening.

Completely PMSL at Angela Hernandez.

Also "Hello Bronagh", the hedgehog/mud, and the lost babies that haven't even been born.

I have driven away from a variety of petrol stations with different things on the roof of my car. That then slid off somewhere down the road leaving me wondering what that wierd scraping noise was. Said items have included my sunglasses, my purse, and a full but open can of coke.

I have also held a hot iron up to my face to see if it was hot. It was.

QOD Tue 07-May-13 21:40:09

My cat was looking adorable so as I snuggled him, I licked right up the side of his head

Why? I mean .... Why?

Sunnywithshowers Tue 07-May-13 21:55:28

I once went for an interview at a car parts factory. When asked what I knew about cars, I answered 'Nothing. I'm a car moron.'

Luckily for me, I didn't want the job anyway...

Not me, but ds1. He's in his first year at university, and is staying in Halls of Residence - it is a newly built hall, and the doors are opened/locked with a keycard that works by just touching his wallet (with the card in it) to the lock.

He came home for the Christmas holidays and went out leaving the front door unlocked behind him - because our front door needs a key to lock it and won't lock with his university halls keycard!

I went through a phase of trying to throw myself down the stairs for some reason.

I love it! actually sore tummy from laughing at that, I love the way you said it so matter of fact-ly grin.

NTMummy059 Mon 13-May-13 20:24:20

This thread needs a warning - do not read if anybody is near you!
I was casually reading through the last page and burst out laughing (eventually crying) at QOD's licking the cat story.. with my mum sat next to me.. I tried to explain but just couldn't say anything other than snuggled.. licked..cats head through my laughter! She just looked away like hmm

10storeylovesong Wed 15-May-13 07:48:22

I was once working nights and was awoken by the postman knocking at the door with a parcel. In a daze I ran downstairs... And knocked back at the door to him. Then stood there wondering why the idiot didn't open the door.

To make matters worse when I eventually realised what I'd done I couldn't find the keys and ran around like a mad woman looking for them. He had a very bemused look on his face when I eventually opened the door.

Wannabestepfordwife Sat 20-Jul-13 21:45:40

Just discovered this thread am in hysterics! I have too many things to list.

One Christmas was at my grandparents and my cousins were going through a stoner phase. I went to the toilet there was a brown ball which I thought was hash so I picked it up and smelt it. It was a ball of poo so I decided to put it back on the window sill where I found it- why I don't know.

Another highlight was when in an office job we were supposed to answer the phone hello then company name then our name is speaking how can I help. I answered the phone to one of most important customers hello wannabestepfordwife is coming do you want to help.

SleeplessInBedfordshire Mon 22-Jul-13 03:43:38

When I was a student, my flatmate's very posh, well-dressed mother came to visit her one day. I'd just got home and saw them both standing in the corridor. Flatmate introduces us, "Sleepless, this is my Mum" and I reply "Nice to meet you Mrs B" when at that moment I spot the biggest spider known to Man crawling over Mrs B's shoulder. Instinct kicked in and I shouted "AAAARRGH!" in her face while launching myself at the woman and smacking her on the shoulder over and over shouting "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"

The poor woman screamed in terror at being assaulted (am utterly cringing as I remember this) and though I explained and pointed out the spider on the floor, she just stared at me in horror. I mumbled an apology, ran off to my room and hid until she went home

RoadToTuapeka Mon 22-Jul-13 03:55:08

When I was 13 at home in school holidays still in PJs at about 2pm an estate agent came in with a key to show prospective buyers around - didn't knock first.
Horribly embarrassed teen that I was, before they saw me, I hid in my bedroom cupboard. They wandered through, tried opening the cupboard, which I kept hauled closed using clothes hanging on the inside of the door.
The agent muttered about the door sticking and they kept going and left. Whether they suspected someone was inside I will never know.

Dillydollydaydream Mon 22-Jul-13 11:45:58

*PIL took me and DH out for a meal. We were discussing table manners and they were saying how you should squash peas onto the back of your fork.
So I said 'but I like to feel the pea-ness explode in my mouth!'
I didn't realise what I'd said until I saw their faces and played it back in my head *

That is too funny Esian! 😂

Marzipanface Mon 22-Jul-13 20:17:44

At work doing Health and Safety training to a room ful of people. Trying to explain the importance of not leaving trailing wires in the office. Turned round to face the OHP screen and promptly tripped onto my face over the 'trailing' OHP wire.

Dickhead!

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