I once found a white disc in the washing machine after a load had finished. Couldn't for the life of me work out what it was. So I licked it. Turns out it was a lemon scented bleach block for the toilet cistern. I'd scooped up the packet with the dirty washing. I don't usually lick random objects. It tasted a bit lemony, and not particularly fatal in case you were wondering.
ginmakesitallok
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:38:44
Years ago I was having coffee with a very senior colleague - I calmly opened a sachet of sugar and poured it into the ashtray instead of into my cup......tit
DraculasMum
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:39:24
ROFL 
My dd had something in her hand and i couldnt work out what it was so licked it.. POO! Real actual POO!
bibbitybobbityhat
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:40:24
at op.
Will come back after searching through the old archives.
Last week I dropped some clothes at the charity shop and saw a yellow dice ashtray for £2, and bought it.
I have no fecking idea why.
I then told myself I would sell it on ebay and make a profit. Except someone is already selling them in any colour you want for £2.99.
Dracula, bahahahahahahaha! Do you want a lick of my cistern cleaner? <generous>
5inthebed
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:44:03
Poo!!!! <boak>
I once had an interview for a telephone based ob, it was going really well, passed al the hard computer tests, manual test etc, then one of the interviewer asked "so how are you on the telephone" and I answered "Oh I hate taling on telephones, I get all flabbergasted" <sigh>
Such a self sabotager
DraculasMum
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:45:35
<gracefully accepts>
mmm lemon fresh!

When I was in college, I spent fifteen minutes poking the girl in front of me with a protractor. I thought it was my friend. It wasn't. When she turned around to ask wtf I was doing, I made out I meant to do it the whole time and it was a reasonable way of attracting someone's attention.
Who is the MNer who introduced herself as her husband's name at some important do? Because that story made me howl.
No licking in this one, but I once found myself rooting furiously through my handbag to find a file I wanted to attach to an email.
<snigger>
Licking unidentified objects is not a good way to find out what they are.
At uni I went upto someone at a cash point I thought was my best friend and threw my arms around her. I have no idea why as I'm not a massively tactile person.
It wasn't her, and the person getting cash out thought it was dome weird ploy to steal their money and got quote angry 
ginmakesitallok are you my mum?? She did that once!
CarrieOakey
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:51:48
DH left his mobile at home one day so I text him to ask him if he wanted me to drop it off 
FruStefanLindman
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:52:54
Well...it wouldn't have been fatal, OP, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here, would you <arf> 
One of those Heinz Baked Beans big fridge jars, which we'd only eaten a bit from, had been left it in the fridge for days on end. I knew it had gone off so decided to throw it away. Did I chuck the remaining beans (about 2/3rd of the jar) in the rubbish before putting the jar in the recycling? Did I hell.
I decided to put all the remaining baked beans down the kitchen sink. We don't have a waste disposal unit - I thought they'd just...well...go down (actually, I knew they wouldn't the minute I did it). Did they go down? Did they hell. Well, they went down the plughole - but then blocked it up. You should've seen me. I was running around like a headless chicken, pouring boiling water from the kettle, then sink cleaner, then more boiling water in (just made matters worse, I ended up with a sink full of scuzzy water). Fortunately I found a sink-plunger-jobby in the shed before DP came home.

cjbartlett
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:55:28
When I was 11 I locked up my parents house, put the house key under the mat and attached a note to the door 'mum, gone out, key under the mat' 
Love looking for a file in your handbag 
LawrieMarlow
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:56:52
Was it Pagwatch who introduced herself as her DH? Either she did or I just think she might do that
.
She does throw glasses at people at MN meetups.
FruStefanLindman
Mon 15-Aug-11 21:59:04
That's brilliant cjbartlett <snort>
i lick stuff
i also sniff but mainly lick .. im like a curious 2 yr old 
I think I thought it was some kind of giant mint. I have no defence as to why I thought that.
5inthebed
Mon 15-Aug-11 22:02:08
I once took the tv remote control to school instead of my calculator, made maths a bit more fun.
Then I did it again a few years later, leaving my mobile at home and took the cable remote control, DH was not impresed.
CarrieOakey
Mon 15-Aug-11 22:02:41
Dh one day decided to find out if she had pooed her nappy by poking his finger in there - she had, this was me ---->