Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

[fluffydressinggown]

Hopefully we can start a fresh with everyone here. I really hope Keema and Nana, who are valuable contributors can join us and continue their support.

I am chilling in my PJs reading the internet and relaxing. Trying not to think about stuff but just had some difficult messages from God which have upset me a bit.

[LEMmingaround]

Thanks for the thread :) could you re link it on the last page as it might get missed if folk skip to the last page.

My head is spinning today. I need to find ways to relax that doesn't involve a screen.

What do you usually find relaxes you?

[Collardove]

Thank you fluffy :) nice new thread!

I was posting on the last one as you started the new!

Can I echo what you have said to keema and nana :) xx

[fluffydressinggown]

Internetting, chocolate, sitting quietly, music. I am off to get some clonazepam which helps as well ;) Night night x

[Juneywoony]

Hi, hope anyone doesn't mind me joining, I read some of the last thread.

Sorry your in hospital, I spent the first four months of the year in hospital, having a relapse now and under crisis team, really struggling with crippling anxiety on top of everything else.

[LEMmingaround]

Anxiety is the pits isnt it. It just fries my bloody head. Welcome juney. Are you on meds for the anxiety? Im on 20mg citalopram but i think i need a change. Have noticed i feel better if i miss a dose. But then i crash. Am a bit down on my gp just now so reluctant to. Go and tbh im not sure what change i actually want to make.

[Victrix]

Joining new thread. Not sure what on earth happened to my typing in my last post.

I reread it and am appalled at myself

My garden bin gets emptied tomorrow, means I can get out and do more gardening. It calms me down

[Juneywoony]

Hi Lem,

I'm on a stack of meds... currently on 18mg of diazepam for the anxiety but it's not touching the sides, they have said to increase it but I don't want to I feel like being on them for so long has brought on this episode.

I know what you mean about changing meds its scary as you don't know what they will do and what side effects you will get.

[LEMmingaround]

I find that too victrix. I used to hate gardening but. Now im happiest weeding! I havenoclue what im doing though.

We bought a buddlea this summer. I love it so much. Its veriagated and has bright purple rather than lilac flowers. For the past few days the same butterfly has been visiting. This has made me feel happy.

[LEMmingaround]

Thats a shed load of diazepam. I sometimes have 2mg three times a day but i think it makes me more depressed and anxiety is my main issue.

[Juneywoony]

I was on 20mg while in hospital and could take 4mg of lorazapam prn, they get you hooked on these drugs then don't help you to come of them.

[Collardove]

Welcome juneywoony :)

Victrix and Lem - I am with you on that. I am at my happiest with iPod on pottering in the garden. I will have to try and sweet talk the dust men into emptying two green bins this week.
We inherited a spare one and I have filled them both. Two weeks ago the dust man refused to take the second one and left a snotty note on it (it's not an official council one, otherwise it's identical)
So have to be ready to charm them at 8am on Tuesday in the hope the buggers will take it! Or else I will have to shovel it sell out into the official bin fgs.....

It's been a long day and will head up the wooden hill to bed.

Nite to you fluffy, juneywoony, Lem and Victrix

[Victrix]

I need to make a gp appointment tomorrow, just to catch up and get a new sick line. I'm not sure the 40mg citalopram is making much difference but it probably just needs more time.

I have no idea what I'm doing in the garden either but the lady who owned our house before us was a proper gardener so it's lovely. I limit myself to weeding and pruning. I work on the basis that if I prune it right back and it grows back it's meant to be in the garden, and if it doesn't it isn't!

[Katkins1]

I think I have become far too unwell to post on anything useful. I did de register, because I think what I'm posting has got out of hand. It wasn't ny intent to upset anyone in that way, but I tend to do it a lot when unwell. As some of you might know, I've had such a lack of support from mh services, it's no surprise I have hit a bit if a crisis. Before I go, can any of you forgive me just a little bit to tell me where to actually get help? Please. I need it x

[ByeByeButterfly]

We all say things in the heat katkins. I am truly sorry you aren't getting the gelp you need. I hope you come back when you feel stronger.

[NanaNina]

Thanks for the new Autumn thread fluffy and nice to hear you sounding quite chilled and relaxed. I posted on the old thread before I realised there was a new one.

Welcome Juney - that certainly is a very high dose of diazepam. Sorry to hear of a long (and no doubt boring) IP stay this year. Do you suffer from severe depression and anxiety - I suffer from intermittent depression which can be severe at times and have been going through a meds change this summer. It wasn't easy and took much longer than I thought but I do think the new ADs have made an improvement in my mental health. It's all so hit and miss though isn't it which makes it all the more confusing.

Hope you're ok Keema and look forward to "seeing" you again.

Good night all !

[Katkins1]

Ah, I've just seen the link to it on the other thread. I will look. Fir the time being, I will step away from the thread as there does come a point where real life support would be better. Sadly, I have been without it for a very long time, and this has not helped my recovery at all. I think I need to tell a friend and get them to speak to the proffesionals on my behalf. I am really truly sorry to nana and Keema, I will read how you are all getting on, but won't post. I think I am a bit delusional (hence my anger and allegations towards people) and generally messed up (hence me sharing my plans as though it's perfectly normal to do so, without thinking of the impact on others). I will be thinking of you all xxx

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

hi guys, sorry to see things went a bit tits up on the last thread. ive missed loads. really not been up to posting or lurking, and just not been around that much.
i hope things settle down for everyone.
im thinking of you all - i do hope keema and nana stick around, and fluffy i am thinking of you especially at the moment.

love to everyone else even though ive not name checked everyone....at least ive found the new thread.
will try to keep up a bit with this one.

[Pyrrhagena]

No nn, DS has not been diagnosed with anything. We did go to a psychologist with him who rated him with zero cognitive skills and said in her opinion he was borderline ASD. But would need further investigations and recommended to keep him off kindergarten (he started this year, has now had half a term) We declined as the paediatrician thinks she is talking bollocks and because she insisted on carrying out all the 'tests' in his third language (which he could only speak words, no sentences) and I know he could do some of the things that he didn't do. So there was no way of knowing if he didn't understand what he was asked to do (language), the task he was supposed to do, if he didn't want to (stubborn little thing) or he couldn't. Was a waste of time! We have a meeting with his teachers tonight... His start at school has been mixed, but he loves it and always asks to go back. We really don't know what to expect. I fear it's going to be made clear it's my atrocious parenting that's to blame.

Thanks for asking lem. Things are...as normal. Kill yourself still tags itself onto the end of my to do list when I think of all the things I need to do, but no urge to do it if that makes sense. Have an email to read if I need to. (It's a simple one, just says "you must to go home your children need you there.") I keep catching myself checking things over and over again (lights, cooker, door etc) and expecting the worst (like when DH goes off on his bike for a couple of hours I'm always expecting to hear he's had an accident).

Not heard anything from the job I applied to. To be honest, I'm not sure I could hold down a job or if I want to at the moment. I don't know we could afford or find child care for both of them anyway. Life is a bit simpler without DS around four mornings a week

[LEMmingaround]

Pyrrh that email sounds like s good idea.

I know i really need to see my gp again but am not sure what i want to achieve. I think it might be time to come off the citalopram. I know im never going to not have anxiety but i think the citalopram makes me feel "down" as in subdued and not quite with it.

[Juneywoony]

Hi Nana and everyone else, I have Bipolar and Emotionally unstable personality disorder which I think is the new name for BPD to be honest I don't think they know which one I have so have labelled me both. Got the crisis tam coming again today they have been coming every other day and a telephone call in between as I'm feeling suicidal, my life is such a mess at the moment I can't even leave the house. Got the in-laws doing the school runs which I feel incredibly guilty about

Sorry for the woe is me post I know there are people far worse off then me

[fuzzpig]

Hello, can I join in please? I've never set foot in these threads before but enough is enough, I need to stop avoiding the subject...

[Katkins1]

I thoroughly ashamed and sorry for everything I posted last night. I have become paranoid and delusional, I thought the people commenting on my posts were "in" on the conspiracy to experiment on me. I'm so, so, so sorry.
I've started to think my illness is untreatable and that I will be like this forever.
I made lots of plans, and an finding it harder and harder not to act on them. I got dd to school ok, now lying down doing nothing, contemplating who might be the best person to contact as I don't really have a plan for situations like this (my cpn never did a plan with me).

[SnowyMouse]

Welcome Juneywoony and fuzzpig.