Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:43

Name: DulcetMoans
Age: 29
DCs: None but brewing a Ben and Jerry pot sized baby at the moment. (Size, not a comment of food baby from too much ice cream)
TTC: Since March 2012. MC July 2014 and Sept 2014. JSer for most of that time - with a little medical support.

OP posts:
Muddytoes1 · 11/02/2015 21:46

Wow got distracted for for a few days and managed to miss almost the whole previous Fred! Mahoosive congrats to all the new bfps!

lildottie · 11/02/2015 21:47

Name: lil
Age: 29
Dcs: none
Ttc: 2 years 3 months, ending with an ivf bfp. Currently incubating a poppyseed.

I'll be hanging around a bit longer to annoy you cheer you all on if that's ok!

Muddytoes1 · 11/02/2015 21:48

Name: Muddy
Age: 29
Dc: 0
Ttc: Dec 2014

Will try and keep up this Fred!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 11/02/2015 21:51

Name: Lemon
Age: 27
DC: 2 if you count DH and the cat
TTC: November 2014, no hint of a BFP so far...

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 21:52

Ah, balls. Will get the powers that be to delete emergency Fred I created in a panic! Well done dulcet!

Name: Tink
Age: 33
DC: 0
Txt: forever

Hobbit19 · 11/02/2015 21:56

Name: Pud
Age: 29
DC: 2 cats and DH
TTC # 1 since Jan 2015.

TinkerBlue · 11/02/2015 21:57

Oh ffs, can someone else please report it for deletion? Fecking thing won't let me! Don't want to confuse people! Ta..

Hobbit19 · 11/02/2015 21:58

So big cat shat on little cat tonight. Then little cat ran around smearing it all over the walls. Brilliant.

Hobbit19 · 11/02/2015 22:02

Reported it Tink

Purplecircle · 11/02/2015 22:02

Name: Purplecircle
Age: 40
DC: none but currently incubating a raspberry, DC1 due 24/9

Jcandy · 11/02/2015 22:03

Name: JC or candy
Age: 30
TTC: Aug 14
DC: none, mc Nov 14

Oh stoat I'm sorry, keep up that positive attitude for now. It's not over yet!

Same for you tink it's shit that you still haven't got an answer! Really hoping the blood tests will tell you something!

Thanks for the Fred Dulcet Smile

Purplecircle · 11/02/2015 22:03

Oops baby brain....TTC since Jan 2014

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 22:04

Name: La
Age: 34
Ttc: since July 2013, mc sept 2014
DCs: 2 furry orange fluffballs, incubating a 'bell pepper' sized mini-la

Make this a lucky one!!! Good luck les shaggers!

Ooh and I just added 2 sporn stories to that thread, for your reading pleasure

Purplecircle · 11/02/2015 22:04

Forgot to mention MC July 2014

Jesus H I've lost the plot!

LaLaLaaaa · 11/02/2015 22:06

Gutted I missed filling the thread - I could pretend I 'let' lil have the honours ;)

MrsWatts · 11/02/2015 22:07

Name: Mrs Watts
Age: 37
DC: None (apart from my cockapoo doggy!)
TTC: Starting within the next couple of weeks. Hubby had a vasectomy reversal a week ago so we're waiting him to recover, then my AF is due... but then it's all systems go!

Great to see so many ladies get BFPs! So happy for you and very encouraging for the rest of us!

diamondsparkles · 11/02/2015 22:07

Name: diamond
Age: 37
Ttc: since June 2014
DC: 1 nearly 3yr old DS
GrinGrin

daisyspice · 11/02/2015 22:15

Shiny new Fred Smile thanks dulcet

Name: daisy
Age: 28
Dc: 0
TTC: dec 2014

Cd 8 cycle 3 bfp due 7th March

Stoat keeping everything crossed for u lovely

daisyspice · 11/02/2015 22:17

Ps I am a sporn addict and lost an hour of my life to that thread whilst running my knees like a pervert Wink

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 22:17

Thanks for the new Fred dulcet :) although two Fred's blew my mind a minute there!!!

Name: Jelly
Age: 24
TTC: in sprit since Aug 14, technically since Oct 14, and realistically since Jan 15
DC's: none, two overly fluffy cats though

Let make this a lucky Fred! I think there's more grads than undergrads on here at the moment!!!!

jellypi3 · 11/02/2015 22:20

Oh lil and la you would be so proud. I have tempted at exactly the same time each day so far! My new method has worked!!

Indigoblue2 · 11/02/2015 22:24

Name: Indigo
TTC: July 2014
DC's: none but currently incubating a lemon

Marking place and crossing gingers for another lucky fred! Come on viroids!

lildottie · 11/02/2015 22:31

yay jelly!!

glidingpig · 11/02/2015 22:33

Name: glidingpig
TTC: July-October 2014, CPS August and October, stopped for a brief sulk, recommenced Feb 2015 Grin
DCs: DD who will be 5 next month Shock

Swipe left for the next trending thread