Karma's a load of old shite! The BESH have gone through a fair old heap of bollocks lately so it's time we had some good news!

(1000 Posts)
Fabuluce Fri 21-Mar-14 20:28:18

In order to join the BESH you MUST be over 30 and TTC for baybee no. 1 for over a year, be ok with swearing, shout CUNT at the world on a daily basis and howling at the moon should be a regular occurrence. BESHtionnaires must be submitted - no admittance allowed without it (we just want to snigger at your lesbian crush - it's true).

Revised BESHtionnare for reference

1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

6) Number of pets?

7) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

8) Lesbian crush?

9) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
b) Over 100 quid
c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
10) Which of these sentences is appalling:
a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
c) both of the above
11) How barren are you?
a) childless and TTC for at least one year
b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!

If (c) then the BESH is not the thread for you.

MissHobart Fri 21-Mar-14 20:51:21

Thanks Fab! Place marking!

MissHobart, 33, ttc#1, 14 months, 2 x mc.

cherrycoconut Fri 21-Mar-14 23:11:25

Nice work old stick.
My god Justin Beiber's a dick isn't he? Just need to get that off my chest.

FriendofDorothy Fri 21-Mar-14 23:27:19

Just popping in to keep an eye out for any nipple tassel opportunities.

cherrycoconut Fri 21-Mar-14 23:37:42

Evening Dor <doffs cap>

Fabuluce Fri 21-Mar-14 23:51:31

Yes Justin is a twat. Sometimes I feel sorry for him but mostly he is a twat.

Hello Dor smile

FizzyFeet Sat 22-Mar-14 00:07:51

<looks round admiringly>
Nice Fred, Fab.

I am only vaguely aware of Justin B. has he done something particularly twattish, or is he just a twat in general terms? TWAT. So satisfying to type.

MissHobart Sat 22-Mar-14 03:35:56

I caved! POAS @ 0300!? I can only blame being at work and being sick of not knowing, every little twinge seemingly a poss PG symptom hmm - well I have been rewarded with the expected BFN, can't access "can you see a line" to try an invert image but I'm almost 100% sure, though my eyes a trying desperatly to put a line where there is none! No more, will be seeing the droid I wasn't looking for on mon/tues hmm

I'll add a picture just for the hell of it! grin

MissHobart Sat 22-Mar-14 03:43:15

Does anyone have stats? I can't seem to find any confused

cletterthedishes Sat 22-Mar-14 07:59:59

Thanks for the fred fab!

I just Googled Justin Bieber to see whether there was some heinous news story about him. Got a giant pic of him looking about 12 with his mouth open and a stupid hairdo. How is that sexy?? How? It was OK when he was just a bland try-out crush for teenage girls, but now actual adult women are sleeping with him it makes me want to do a little bit of sick.

Mr C and I are skipping our usual Saturday morning run and opting for lie in and fun day. We will be going to a reclamation yard (eek!) and trying not to spend hundreds on fancy bits for the house.

how many DPO are you missH? It's the dreaded CB so there may still be hope . . . smile

Stats: cletterthedishes, 31, TTC #1, 15 months, 2xCP, 1MMC, fuck knows what's going on right now smile

MissHobart Sat 22-Mar-14 08:08:52

DPO 13, due on on Tuesday, it's annoying because my fist BFP had no symptoms and the second had major symptoms, meh! hmm No major symptoms this week! Am just gonna wait!

Have fun at the yard! Try not to spend too much! grin

cletterthedishes Sat 22-Mar-14 08:18:08

Cheers smile I will have to try haggling. I hate haggling. I'm too much of a wuss!

If only there were RULES about pregnancy. The whole things is enough to drive you crazy.

Fabuluce Sat 22-Mar-14 09:15:34

Arse - I just wrote a lovely long message and it disappeared into the ether - grrrr.

Have fun at the yard today - I too am rubbish at bartering so I have to bring my FIL along to get him to do it for me - he's a bit hench and doesn't back down - very handy!!

I have constant cramping all through my cycle these days so I've officially decided to stop symptom spotting and get on with my life. It's been governed by ttc for over 3 years now and still no Bfp (ivf pregnancy was bloods and I didn't poas!). It's so soul destroying living each month to month like that isn't it. I've therefore decided to live life a little. We are decorating ALOT obviously an drinking wine (and gin obvs) and having fun smile

cherrycoconut Sat 22-Mar-14 09:17:18

sad for Miss H, that's a kick in the guts but it ain't over till it's over <hands out halibut of hope> Nice use of the new photo facilities though.

Ooh Cletter love a good reclamation yard. Have fun and be ballsy on your haggling. May the power of the BESH be with you on that.

They showed clips of Justin Beiber's court appearance on late night telly last night. No idea how current it was but it was enough prompt the outburst <vague>.

This weekend I will mostly be pottering and spending some quality time with the steed.

Fabuluce Sat 22-Mar-14 09:32:14

Oh and my ttc story is:
Fab married to Toasty the WonderHusb. Ttc since nov 2010. Me 41, him 35 (lush). Undiagnosed infertility as everything looks great for us both. Ivf #1 jan 2013 - 3 great 3 day embies transferred Bfp followed by mmc at 8weeks and an erpc at 10. Ivf #2 in July 2013 - another 3 great 3 day embies transferred bfn. Devastation. Was going for ivf #3 in November but beloved Dad died so we postponed. Just moved house and just waiting for TWH to get his next contract in place before we book in for our next and probable last round. Latest news is that my infertility is cause by auto immune ishoos and our beautiful embies are being attacked by my bastard womb. Always hoping for a random twin diff but increasingly unlikely!

cherrycoconut Sat 22-Mar-14 09:39:41

Great attitude Fab, it's hard but as much as we want what we want we can't stop living for now either.

To be honest I feel a total fraud knocking about this fred but you lot are all so bloody luffly I can't bring myself to leave. Hanging around waiting for a donor to begin IVF is hardly actively TTC. I feel like all I do is whinge and throw fish at other people's ups and downs. But maybe one day we'll get a bash at this baby making lark.

cherrycoconut Sat 22-Mar-14 09:52:16

As we all seem to be adding our vital stats herewith my barren credentials in black and white:

Cherry, 34, married to Rock of Coconut Household (40), came of BCP Aug 2012 to TTC. Nothing but tumbleweed. Diagnosed prem ovarian failure March '13. On the interminable wait for a donor to give DEIVF a shot while life throws more curve balls. Pack it in karma. Fate. The universe. I've had enough. <rails against world in sanctity of BESH buzzwams>

Fabuluce Sat 22-Mar-14 10:52:57

Chezz I feel the same but feel comfort in nuzzling into the norks of the BESH. We clearly can't get diffed through the normal channels so in a way we aren't ttc although we do always make sure we shag at the right times (as well as the rest - the joys of having a tomboy after all wink) on the off chance. We just need somewhere safe to be where people will understand our BESH souls.

TheBuggerlugs Sat 22-Mar-14 11:11:37

Feck me I almost lost you lot. Nice new Fred.

MissH Sorry for the BFN.

I've watched PS I love you this morning and sobbed through the whole thing. I am now knackered and have a thumping head. sad

Fabuluce Sat 22-Mar-14 12:52:53

Omg I love PS I love you. Sob sob sob sob!

TheBuggerlugs Sat 22-Mar-14 13:44:52

It's going to the charity shop. I can't ever watch it again, it left me drained and with a banging head so I went back to bed after watching it and have just woken up. I need a walk in the fresh air to come round.

FrankelandFilly Sat 22-Mar-14 15:08:45

Just marking my place and restocking the gin cabinet for you all.

Sorry about the BFN MissH

Dishy how are you doing?

cletterthedishes Sat 22-Mar-14 16:02:54

Cramping and bleeding started in a minor way yesterday, has increased this afternoon. I've got red + little clots (sorry hags, but I know you can hack it smile)

This could be the haemorrhage they saw on the scan, but I doubt it. If it was just old blood from something that's already happened, why the cramping?

So looks like I won't get the option of an op. It seems to be kicking off now. We were supposed to be going out for cinema and trashy chain restaurant dinner tonight, but we're going to give it a miss now in case I end up leaving half my uterus on a Cineworld seat. Their staff don't get paid enough to deal with that shit.

The reclamation yard was bobbins - we found some lovely tiles but the guy quoted us an insane price and refused point blank to haggle, even when I offered cash. So balls to him. Don't mess with a BESH!

MissHobart Sat 22-Mar-14 16:53:31

Don't mess with BESH! grin

eurochick Sat 22-Mar-14 17:50:36

Sorry about the BFN missh.

dishy sorry that it all seems to be kicking off.

There's a reclamation yard like that near us. I'm sure they price stuff based on what they think you can afford and mr euro's bbc accent doesn't help!

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