everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening he collapsed at home I did chest compressions till the ambulance came they tried for ages but he was gone I cant stop seeing it my arms hurt, my heart hurts I'm exhausted I cant do this again
he was a big strong man he had a red hat he wore all the time he used to call his crocs 'melly mels' cause we once saw a picture of mel gibson in crocs and he was trying to convince me that crocs were cool cause mel gibson wore them and I fancied mel gibson when he was younger
he loved curry, he used to spend hours in the kitchen making curries from scratch really hot and tasty I used to taste them, they were really tasty but waaay too hot for me he used to love to sweat whilst eating a curry
he loved fishing, the sea, nature we used to go and collect the flatfish from the salmon nets in the sea outside my house
he was so loving and kind but in private he was a big strong mans man but with a soft squishy heart I used to call him my teddy bear in a crocodile suit
Trinity, I was so shocked when I opened this thread and realised it was you and that you were suffering another tragic loss. Such a tragedy, you poor, poor thing. Life is desperately unfair. I hope purplepillow is with you soon.
Trinity my heartfelt sympathy. You are a very brave woman. You didn't fall apart and you did the best for DP. Your pain and shock are very raw. Your head is full of those awful images and for now you will need to deal with each wave of shock as it hits you, but keep posting, keep contact. It will help to detach you and give you another means of letting it out of your head. Been through something similar recently and just letting it go on here helped so much. Xx
Of course you can't, lovely. You won't be able to and that's fine. You're in that terrible bubble of grief and shock right now and i wish there was more I could do than just type into this little box right now. Please let me know if there is anything i can do in the coming days or after and I will do it.