To not want an awake child around at 11pm when I'm on holiday PART DEUX

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

First thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4332702-to-not-want-an-awake-child-around-at-11pm-when-i-m-on-holiday

you should write a book OP.

I've just read your whole thread for the last 40 minutes... you have the patience of a saint OP.

I remember a similar holiday Op ruined by a friends petulant brat. I never went on holiday with them again ever. I did say something at the time, I was met with blank stares and nothing was done about it.

Daisy
I was specifically meaning the other poster about giving her a kick as she has posted comment after comment having a go. I just think you are saying how OP isn’t being a good friend but it’s very easy to say. I’ve been in this situation, I did say something and I’m not sure our friendship has recovered. Parents can be very sensitive over their children, especially over indulged children. OP is letting off a bit of steam and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Your friend probably won't need to have heard of mumsnet to read all about herself - this thread has got DM fodder written all over it!

Is this one holiday you'll be glad to get home from?
I had something similar many years ago, but only for a weekend thank god. We've stayed friends but never gone away with kids again.

I also pretend never to have heard of MN, and I certainly wouldnt admit to EVER posting here. Dont be surprised if your friend is a regular!

Just place marking.

@Nayday

Your friend probably won't need to have heard of mumsnet to read all about herself - this thread has got DM fodder written all over it!

🤣

Then we all laugh at her version of ops parenting and kids.

Anyway OP has one more day and night to thrill us with tales of Alyssa. What Alyssa did next etc.

I assume like a Phoenix from the ashes OP will rise up, commanding the power of secondary teacher skills and voice... Alyssa! You shall not pass!

What wine will be consumed later?
What tales of trampolines?

Friend oblivious.
Look out for sloppy parents with painted feet and poorly braided pigtails, coming soon to a gentle parenting forum near you..

Discovered years ago that to be able to enjoy a holiday with another family you have to have similar parenting styles otherwise it’s a disaster

So latest is:

Friend and Alyssa came downstairs after a failed attempt to sleep with promises of being poked in the eye with mascara (aka a pamper evening)

I said "toodaloo motherfuckers" (or some politer derivative) and went to bed.

Watched Something Borrowed on Netflix (ironically a film about shit friendships although at least Friend isn't shagging my boyfriend, so got a bit of perspective there).

I heard them both go to bed at 11.20

One more night to go.

Next step: conquer my fear of a single parent holiday with just my kids and no adult company. I could guilt trip my sister into going with me but I really think this is a lesson learned about doing it alone.

How the fuck are you drinking wine and keeping your mouth shut? That’s got to be witchcraft.

I would definitely have said “You’re not the sun love, now fuck off to bed” by now And that’s me being a polite wine-drunk-me.

@SpaceBethSmith I'm a happy drunk! Except whiskey, which makes me weirdly aggressive. If I had whiskey, Alyssa would be in trauma therapy right now.

My 'Alyssa' was a 14 yr old who thought she was 34. Her mother insisted she accompany us on our girls' holiday to a theme park. I suggested she bring a friend and her mum said "But WE are her best friends!". 'We' as in she and I. I don't think so.

Four days of what 'my Alyssa' thought were clever, grown up 'quips' about all and sundry (yours truly included) but were really nasty personal remarks, trying to drink from other's adult beverages (yours truly's included) which would have gotten us kicked out of the park as it had a zero tolerance of underaged drinking, being rude to her mother by taking food from her plate, demanding money for expensive items, demanding we do rides and shows the way she wanted, and pushing her mother aside to get the 'best' seat. She didn't try that shit with yours truly as she knew I wouldn't tolerate it. The crowning event was the tantrum she threw when she learnt she was going to have to share a bed with her mother. She felt she should get a bed to herself and that her mother and I should share a bed. Nope, not happening.

Never again.

I usually am a happy drunk, however I lose control over what I should or shouldn’t say (which is why I don’t drink any more), and this would fuck me off to no end. If my own kids aren’t up, I definitely don’t want to be around anyone else’s.

Single parent holidays are THE BEST. Mine are 13/11/5. And my youngest is the shittest sleeper ever, yet magically transforms on holiday

Place marking! Sorry

OP: "Next step: conquer my fear of a single parent holiday with just my kids and no adult company. "

You've already had the trial run - effectively no adult company on this holiday, just two extra kids and a parent totally focussed on indulging their every whim. Your friend might be physically present but mentally she's been totally absent.

I can’t believe you haven’t spelled it out to yourself friend! She is BVVU.

I really enjoyed your thread op but I would have packed my things and left on the second night as I cannot cannot stand children with no boundaries that would dictate my free time/holiday/enjoyment like that.

I stopped going to a good friends house a few years ago as she had twins similar age to your 'Alyssa' and they were 2 'Alyssa's" and every time I was around theirs or they were around mine, the whole experience would be that the twins would constantly ask questions like what would happen if you breathed underwater or what would happen if you went to school on Sunday. They would constantly interrupt, my friend would stop my conversation and sit there answering her children's question and giggle back to me saying how smart they are. I stopped meeting with her in her home and mine and arranged coffees in town instead and fast forward 4 years, I hardly speak to her.

It's such a shame that some people just forget that people live busy lives and being a parent is exhausting anyway and the last thing you need is a child with no boundaries ruining any adult interaction you have looked forward to for such a long time. Okay children are part of the package in some friendships but they do need to learn to know their place and not everything revolves around them which I 100% agree with everything you have written so far.

Next step: conquer my fear of a single parent holiday with just my kids and no adult company

You haven't had much on this holiday. Apart from dozens of Mumsnetters!!

@EnjoyingTheSilence

Discovered years ago that to be able to enjoy a holiday with another family you have to have similar parenting styles otherwise it’s a disaster

This, in spades.

OP I've just read all of the first thread (well just your posts) and agree you've been very patient! Little Alyssa sounds like a brat and

your friend doesn't sound very self aware

Good on you first the climbing wall!

A friend has suggested something similar, that her 14 year old DD accompany us on days out as 'she'd love it and feels like she misses out'.

No way, that's happening, I have distanced myself from such happenings - a teenage girl totally changes the dynamics but friend just can't see it.

As they say say ya later mother fuckers, friendship group lost due to the needs of a 14 year old

Placemarking!