To think you just dont walk into someones home and do this!!!

(132 Posts)
GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:20:52

So.....my mil and I and my DH have a long horrid back story. Its childs party today and the first thing mil does when she walks in is rearrange a throw ( she gave us many xmasses ago) on our sofas, and then puts another throw over another chair? confused

I came in - saw it and and moved it. I could hear her grumbling t FIL and when I came in again, it was spread over it again. I personally dont like throws like that! Its like student digs!

Who would bloody well do this?????? Is she spoiling for a fight? Is she thick?

Shall I go to her house armed with blankets and decide to better her house??????
She was a nightmare in other ways too - but I felt this was the biggest personal transgression!

peppermac Sun 30-Oct-16 22:25:05

That's irritating, did you say anything to her?

Mumteedum Sun 30-Oct-16 22:25:25

How annoying. Next time swipe it from sofa and burn it in garden whilst giving her a meaningful stare i might have had wine and thank God an ex mil from hell

GreenAndWinter Sun 30-Oct-16 22:27:05

Depends how it was done. If I had a throw which was noticeably crooked crumpled, then a very good friend might straighten it for me, and I would thank her for being helpful. It doesn't sound like your MIL was being helpful, sounds more like she was being passive aggressive and weird.

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:28:50

No!
I felt really unwell and had a house full of small DC.
At first when I saw her plumping cushions I thought - thats nice. Then I saw she had put one throw on the seat area of the sofa confused and this new one right over another chair.

So I came in and picked it up and said " this is nice" and as I did so, folded it up and put in on the side of the chair, left room - and came back to find it spread out again, Throughout the party she kept spreading it out and I kept putting it back,
It was extraordinary.

She didn't say a single nice thing about the house or the party, and dragged the whole thing down, including turning music down constantly because her head was banging confused well so was mine - its a party though!!!!

BertrandRussell Sun 30-Oct-16 22:28:57

So the very worst personal transgression was to move a throw????? Blimey.

legotits Sun 30-Oct-16 22:30:29

Just say...

Ooh that looks nice, I may keep it like that.

Smile breezily and ignore.

It works, they get flummoxed.

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:31:43

grin grin Mum, my patience with her is about that thin!

Its hard not to be rude isnt it - but for goodness sake!

why?????

green the throw in question was only minuets before they arrived - smoothed and placed by me over the back of the sofa. She walked in and took it and put it on the seat area, then took this other one and smothered chair with it - its like she had thought out this plan?

Then she asked what we needed doing and as I was talking she actually walked away in front of me.

BlossomHillOne Sun 30-Oct-16 22:32:12

Maybe she was trying to protect your sofas from partying children?

AndNowItsSeven Sun 30-Oct-16 22:33:22

There must be some backstory because that's really a non issue.

Mumteedum Sun 30-Oct-16 22:33:57

She didn't just move it though. She spread it over the chair/sofa. I'd be irritated. It's weird. It's like someone deciding to rearrange your furniture or bring their own tie backs for your curtains.

She's a silly moo, op. I get it. did I mention, I had wine?

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:34:43

Hi Bertrand, no.

Its not the worse transgression the worst was her verbally abusing me 9 years ago after the death of a very close relative in tragic circumstances over minor issues - a week after my first born came into the world, but after 9 years including no contact we have tried to build bridges for the children's sake but when she walks in - and does things like this its hard. There is back story here Betrand I know you find these threads a bit of a mental block though dont you?

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:37:23

Maybe she was trying to protect your sofas from partying children?

that's a good point, maybe she was, she does have a natural aversion to parties and would never have them in her own house! BUT cant she ask> Cant she say - " I brought this throw - would you like it to protect the sofas?"???

In fact at the end of ours she actually had a tear in her eye and her husband put his arm around her said " whats wrong is it the mess, " and she nodded"!!!

CreepyContessaDiPlump Sun 30-Oct-16 22:39:22

Your FIL sounds as bad as her to ask such a leading question in your hearing!

Op she does sound like a trial.

Queenbean Sun 30-Oct-16 22:39:43

Whilst the backstory sounds awful, this isn't an issue really - can you not have just left the throw there and then moved it when she had left? Pick your battles etc

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:40:08

mum she has done it before she came into our home un invited with fil and totally rearranged in while I was in hospital with first baby, She put throws everywhere then too and I hated it and felt personally invaded.

You would think though after this - she would be watching her behaviouR, I am half laughing and half angry about it....because its bonkers!!!

I just cant imagine deliberately packing a throw to take to someones house and without even asking start to drape it over their furniture!

Arfarfanarf Sun 30-Oct-16 22:40:32

Id have folded it up and put it in a cupboard.
Just to see what she'd do grin

StrangeLookingParasite Sun 30-Oct-16 22:42:46

she actually had a tear in her eye and her husband put his arm around her said " whats wrong is it the mess, " and she nodded"!!!

Now that is just peculiar.

blondebuddha Sun 30-Oct-16 22:44:14

I find if I hate someone the little things that they do make me angrier than it would if I liked them. Breathing for example hmm

I agree with a previous post, go with what she says and be as peachy as you can. Throws her off and doesn't give her ammo to be more of a dick to you.

If that fails, there was an awesome post on here not long ago about putting googly eyes on ornaments in someone else's house - go fuck her shit up. At the very least it will give you a good laugh at her expense!

Seriously though I agree with you, unless you're a Feng shui master you don't need to rearrange my shit

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:45:05

afr we had to move half the contents of our house to our one cupboard - it would have drowned me in debris to open up a cupboard grin

she then made a rude comment about needing space to cut her cake in the kitchen but she couldn't find any cloths!
We then had a torturous conversation where I offered her loo roll!! I said we use Kitchen towel and we have run out - but would she like to use loo roll. She said where were the clothes she had brought us.

I honestly couldn't imagine where and what they were, I said I didn't like cloths at all and prefer kitchen towel. She looked on verge of breakdown. This for me was middle of frantic party and me with nearly a migrane.

Marcipex Sun 30-Oct-16 22:45:39

They rearranged your home while you were in hospital ??!
Then they are amazing entitled and totally out of order.

missm0use Sun 30-Oct-16 22:46:20

Next time your in MIL's house take all the throws off her sofas chairs and fold them up in put them away.

Clearly she thinks it's acceptable behaviour for your home so she must expect the same in hers! winkgrin

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sun 30-Oct-16 22:46:28

She is spraying on your territory, like tom-cats do. Very wearing, and I am sure she inteferes in other aspects of your life to. I get it. My (X) mil was like this too. Is your DH on board with defending your family/supporting your position?

GobbolinoCat Sun 30-Oct-16 22:47:35

If that fails, there was an awesome post on here not long ago about putting googly eyes on ornaments in someone else's house - go fuck her shit up

I feel like we are on the verge of a nuclear war with each other, and striding in with purpose to rearrange our home....is not a peaceful thing to do.

I LOVE the googly eye idea! And she would think its the children too.

Bringmewineandcake Sun 30-Oct-16 22:48:08

Maybe she'd shat on your sofa and was trying to hide it? grin

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