To drink brake fluid?

[redisthenewblack]

I'm not addicted though, I can stop whenever I want.

Anyone else got a favourite 'dad joke'?

Oh my goodness I thought I would be coming on this thread to talk you down op!!!
Knock knock-
Whose there
Madam
Madam who
Madam foot stuck in the door...

What's gut two legs and bleeds a lot.

Half a dog.

knock knock
who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No... You're a poo

My Dad has loads and worryingly I'm starting to use them. If a drink is really fizzy he says 'that's passed it's physical(fizzical)' I nearly said it to a bar man recently!

Where do cows go for a night out?

To the moo-vies.

doctoratsea

My DS will love that one!

doctoratsea I can't wait to tell DS that joke!

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was too tired

A favourite of my grandad:

If you pour whiskey on the garden you'll never have to mow the lawn ever again...The grass will come up half cut.

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonky.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Whats brown and sticky

A stick

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your underpants?

your mum

What's brown and sits at the bottom of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror?

Halloumi!

What do you call a dog on a beach?

A hotdog

Was DS2's favourite joke when he was about 3, would have him in fits of giggles every time.

NE14T that joke is so cheesy, but I think it's grate!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no i-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no cock?

Still no fucking I-deer

A woman came up to me and asked for a double entendre so I gave her one.

:Why did the chicken cross the SS the road?
:To get to the idiot's house.
-
:Knock knock
:Who's there?
:The chicken.

*What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer*

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?
Still no fucking idea!

I have no idea what "the SS" has the do with the chicken

meddie haha! I love that one!

What did the magic tractor do?
It turned into a field!